Totally Gross! Had to share...

Nurses Relations

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Ok. So my pt was a slightly demented, whiny, demanding, drug-abusing female in her 70's. She's very strange. She can be very sweet and then turn nutso on you in less than a second. Anyway, I brought her a Lortab. I set the MAR down on her bedside table and she asked for a tissue. I go over and get the tissue off of the sink, and she takes the Lortab in the meantime. As soon as she swallows it, she then asks, "Can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* "I just gave you a Lortab." "Well, then can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* This goes on and on. Hard not to laugh and/or strangle her. As we're discussing the ever-elusive lortab, she blows her nose on a tissue (huge gob of snot came out)...and then reaches down with the same tissue and wipes her crotch... :eek: Just wait. It gets better. Then, she takes that snotty crotch tissue and plops it down on the MAR! :eek::eek::eek: OMG! I just about died. Had a fun time explaining to pharmacy why they needed to print me a new MAR... :rolleyes:

Specializes in Transgender Medicine.
Reopening after removing a few posts. Can I remind members if you have any problems with something someone else has posted not to engage with them but report them using the report button and let staff deal with it.

thanks

Sorry... Guess I need to start posting more often so I can remember the rules. Most of the time I just lurk...:sofahider

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

It isn't just you, Bumashes. Almost invariably the threads are run off the rails by someone parachuting in, lecturing us in an effort to reassure themselves of their moral superiority, and leaving in a huff when their lofty viewpoint doesn't have the desired transformational effect.

I often take the bait myself. From now on I will ask people who do that to me to send me a PM with their "suggestions", or start their own thread. Some really good threads end-- but this one now lives to see another day. :)

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This may be a repost, I didn't read every page...but I was thinking at least she wiped her nose before wiping her crotch. Even though that may be part of why she had the UTI, it would have been extra yucky if she wiped down below and then went for her face.

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I also enjoyed your thread, OP!!!

This just goes to show you that as other people have noted in many, many, many other threads ...there are some people you'd love to work with, and some, not so much. ;)

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Specializes in Transgender Medicine.
This may be a repost, I didn't read every page...but I was thinking at least she wiped her nose before wiping her crotch. Even though that may be part of why she had the UTI, it would have been extra yucky if she wiped down below and then went for her face.

OMG! Yep, that would've made it even worse!!! LOL! :eek:

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Specializes in Emergency Dept., Critical Care Transport.
Sweet Jesus, this brings back memories.

The patient who, during a normal conversation, took my hand and smeared a huge bugger on my arm.:eek:

The patient who decided he wanted to go home...NOW...at 3 am, in the nude, stabbed me in the ear with a banana.:uhoh3:

Yes, I said banana......try living that one down...

The German woman who cleaned the hat I left in her toilet, and taped a turd to the side rail of her bed. Hey, I asked her for a stool sample, I failed to tell her to leave it in the hat. (Some explanations really ARE necessary).

The night a male patient, sitting on the side of his bed, missed his urinal & peed directly into the side of my shoe....:eek::eek::eek:

The midget who needed a hand getting to the bathroom (IV pole...o2...ect...) and dropped a huge turd directly on top of my foot. She never even realized what had happened....:idea:

The man who reached up to cup my breast as I took his blood pressure...his wife was sitting right there, oblivious to my predicament.:uhoh21:

The woman who decided to remove all the staples from the graft site on her leg post cabg. She had a pair of tweezers, digging under each staple........ popping them across the room.....:eek:

I could do this all night.

:lol2: :yeah: OMG Your response has made my day. I've been so busy lately that I haven't taken the time to logon and read some of these posts. That has definitely been My Loss! Your response made me laugh so hard and that is therapeutic. I worked as an ER Nurse for the majority of my career (Can't work anymore due to an injury) But your response reminded me once again how very much I miss it. Nurses who work ER could also go on all night with their "Tales of strange happenings" These experiences make you see the world in an entirely different light, "Ya either Love it ---- Or Ya Hate it" And I loved it! Thanks Again. :lol2::nurse:

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My mom (with Alzheimer's) regularly applies panty liners to various surfaces in her room. Makes her nurses and aides crazy, but only a problem when she sticks them on light bulbs (get hot and could catch fire.) She also goes room to room taking Depends (she herself is continent.) We think perhaps they are used like currency, kind of how cigarettes are used as currency in prison!! LOL!!. It was harder when she realized she was getting Alzheimer's (early). Now she doesn't realize and we just "go with the flow." You DO have to laugh about it - your once extremely bright mother reduced to this.....

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Sweet Jesus, this brings back memories.

The patient who, during a normal conversation, took my hand and smeared a huge bugger on my arm.:eek:

The patient who decided he wanted to go home...NOW...at 3 am, in the nude, stabbed me in the ear with a banana.:uhoh3:

Yes, I said banana......try living that one down...

The German woman who cleaned the hat I left in her toilet, and taped a turd to the side rail of her bed. Hey, I asked her for a stool sample, I failed to tell her to leave it in the hat. (Some explanations really ARE necessary).

The night a male patient, sitting on the side of his bed, missed his urinal & peed directly into the side of my shoe....:eek::eek::eek:

The midget who needed a hand getting to the bathroom (IV pole...o2...ect...) and dropped a huge turd directly on top of my foot. She never even realized what had happened....:idea:

The man who reached up to cup my breast as I took his blood pressure...his wife was sitting right there, oblivious to my predicament.:uhoh21:

The woman who decided to remove all the staples from the graft site on her leg post cabg. She had a pair of tweezers, digging under each staple........ popping them across the room.....:eek:

I could do this all night.

Wow. That is the closest I've come to wetting myself in quite some time. I always have a story to add, but not this time. I can't even think, just imagining that midget defecating on you...oh dear Heavens, thank goodness I do my Kegels...

Oh, and please DO continue all night!

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Specializes in Transgender Medicine.
My mom (with Alzheimer's) regularly applies panty liners to various surfaces in her room. Makes her nurses and aides crazy, but only a problem when she sticks them on light bulbs (get hot and could catch fire.) She also goes room to room taking Depends (she herself is continent.) We think perhaps they are used like currency, kind of how cigarettes are used as currency in prison!! LOL!!. It was harder when she realized she was getting Alzheimer's (early). Now she doesn't realize and we just "go with the flow." You DO have to laugh about it - your once extremely bright mother reduced to this.....

That is so cute! What a sweet lady.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
My mom (with Alzheimer's) regularly applies panty liners to various surfaces in her room. Makes her nurses and aides crazy, but only a problem when she sticks them on light bulbs (get hot and could catch fire.) She also goes room to room taking Depends (she herself is continent.) We think perhaps they are used like currency, kind of how cigarettes are used as currency in prison!! LOL!!. It was harder when she realized she was getting Alzheimer's (early). Now she doesn't realize and we just "go with the flow." You DO have to laugh about it - your once extremely bright mother reduced to this.....

Awwwww. . . it gives her something to do anyway. ;) Depends as currency omg- I just hope people realize that we love these people dearly, but if we didn't also lighten up about some things our days would seem ever so much longer. My dear Grandma ended up spending her last 3 years of life in a "nursing home" as we called them then, but did not have any cognitive impairment. She used to tell us stories of such things as the lady who stopped by her room on a daily basis to have a "conversation" with my Grandma's feet, then left (without saying a word to my Grandma), returning the next day. .

. . .and the lady who had a ferocious attachment to a chicken drumstick bone she kept in her pocket at all times. . my G-ma with her smart-aleck streak took a certain satisfaction in that- apparently the lady had been a real snob in the Catholic Lady's group back in the day. The stuff we see and hear, I tell ya--

LadySolo- I know what you mean. It's awfully hard to see someone struggle to vocalize that thought, remember that name, wonder why they did that silly thing. Bless you and your mom. :redpinkhe

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I wish I could have heard that baby scream. :yes:

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

This thread is over 4 years old.

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