Totally Gross! Had to share...

Nurses Relations

Published

Ok. So my pt was a slightly demented, whiny, demanding, drug-abusing female in her 70's. She's very strange. She can be very sweet and then turn nutso on you in less than a second. Anyway, I brought her a Lortab. I set the MAR down on her bedside table and she asked for a tissue. I go over and get the tissue off of the sink, and she takes the Lortab in the meantime. As soon as she swallows it, she then asks, "Can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* "I just gave you a Lortab." "Well, then can I have a Lortab?" *Sigh* This goes on and on. Hard not to laugh and/or strangle her. As we're discussing the ever-elusive lortab, she blows her nose on a tissue (huge gob of snot came out)...and then reaches down with the same tissue and wipes her crotch... :eek: Just wait. It gets better. Then, she takes that snotty crotch tissue and plops it down on the MAR! :eek::eek::eek: OMG! I just about died. Had a fun time explaining to pharmacy why they needed to print me a new MAR... :rolleyes:

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
"snotty crotch tissue".............heh heh...snicker, wheeze...........is that a highly evolved medical/technical term???? god, that made me laugh! the rest was good, too but still.............

it made me spew my iced tea all over an indignant kitten:eek: and my new laptop!:uhoh3:

the later it is and the more tired i am, the harder i seem to laugh... my husband says it's because i've been a nurse too long?!:rolleyes:

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Home Health.

eww, nasty.

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This now reminds me of a patient I had during clinicals in nursing school. Elderly lady, not really demented though... She had asked me for a wet washcloth to do some self peri-care after returning to bed from the BSC. She was literally taking forever to clean herself so I left her with it. When I returned a while later she was eating a meal and I noticed the wet rag on the bedside table next to her food! Blech! To make matters worse, she picked up that rag and proceeded to wipe her face and mouth with that wet crotch rag. :barf02:

I grabbed some gloves and scooped it up and tossed it in the dirty linen on my way out the door. Yuck!

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Specializes in LTC/Behavioral/ Hospice.

I snorted out loud. :lol2: Good thing I didn't have a drink in my mouth.

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Specializes in Acute post op ortho.

I'd pay to find the masochistic a-hole who invented the faucet used to clean bed pans in patient rooms. Ours were always similar to shower heads, with really unpredictable water pressure.

Getting caught in the blow-back when the pressure increased by 10 fold was always a delight.

Yea......

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I'd pay to find the masochistic a-hole who invented the faucet used to clean bed pans in patient rooms. Ours were always similar to shower heads, with really unpredictable water pressure.

Getting caught in the blow-back when the pressure increased by 10 fold was always a delight.

Yea......

HAHA yeah, I'm always standing with my body WAY back stretching my arms WAY out!! I can only imagine how it looks!! :cool:

And..to the OP...."snotty crotch tissue"..........eeewwww and I'm still laughing!!! :lol2:

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:barf02: yuckkkkkk
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Specializes in Transgender Medicine.

Ok, someone asked what I did with MAR. I chunked it in the biowaste bin. It got covered in an NG tube's fluids when I did that, so I figured you couldn't read it anymore by then. I called the pharmacy and told them what happened so they could print me a new MAR. And thank goodness the same night nurse from the previous night was back again so she could re-sign the meds she gave on the new MAR. She just about keeled over when I told her why...

I had another LOL in her 70's or 80's who asked me if I could give her some of my alcohol pads, so I did. I went in her bathroom to emtpy her hat, and when I came out again she was using them to wipe her nether regions! Sheesh. From one extreme to the other on my floor. :lol2: Now that's taking peri care a bit far I think.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Ozoneranger- your turd taped to the side rail reminded me of a similar stool sample incident. . . we used to give some of the patients Hemoccult cards to take home, always with instructions- you don't need very much, well.

Not sure if the guy was hard of hearing or what, but he brought his card back with two perfectly round spheres of poop he had molded and placed on each square, each about the size of a ping-pong ball. He tried to tape the two flaps together resulting in one hilarious sight. :)

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Specializes in Med Surg-Geriatrics.

Gotta love the lil ole ladies!

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asked me if I could give her some of my alcohol pads, so I did. I went in her bathroom to emtpy her hat, and when I came out again she was using them to wipe her nether regions! Sheesh. From one extreme to the other on my floor. :lol2: Now that's taking peri care a bit far I think.

Oh jeez.... this reminds me of a day in post-partum... suddenly we hear this sudden, shrill cry coming from a room and a father frantically flings the door open and runs to the NS for help... we all file into the room to find he had just used an alcohol swab on his son's freshly circumcised member! :no:

Yep, he alcoholed the member and put vaseline gauze on the cord.... Poor baby! :heartbeat

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Specializes in OR, peds, PALS, ICU, camp, school.
Sweet Jesus, this brings back memories.

The patient who decided he wanted to go home...NOW...at 3 am, in the nude, stabbed me in the ear with a banana.:uhoh3:

Yes, I said banana......try living that one down...

.

I've often heard of people spitting on their computer. I've just never actually done it before. What an image.

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