There has been news recently of a transgender teen who committed suicide because her parents did not accept her and she felt society didn't, either. With that in mind, I started thinking about nursing culture and attitudes towards those who have alternative sexual orientations. How would this teen have been treated at our facility if she came in with an illness? Would we have treated her with respect? Would we have remembered to call her by her preferred name (obviously still checking name band with legal name)? What would have been our private thoughts about this patient: a messed-up kid, or a kid who knows who they are?
I have noticed -- and maybe it's just the area where I live -- that nurses seem to be tolerant and judgmental towards nurses of diverse cultures and backgrounds and disabilities, but when it comes to being homosexual there seems to be a lack of acceptance. There are a couple of nurses who have confided in me that other nurse coworkers are "probably gay" and list the reasons they think that. We have two openly gay staff and I have never seen them treated poorly because of this, but the ones who are "probably gay" are.
When I bring up the topic in a general way some nurses are offended or have strong opinions. One of my late-night talks with another nurse (charting at our stations) was about what we would do if one of our children revealed themselves to be gay. We were both agreeing that we would be accepting of it, but another nurse spoke out very strongly that none of her kids would ever be gay. Two others, who belong to a conservative religious movement that's big in our area decided they would get up and leave the conversation altogether.
When we've had a couple of peds patients with gay parents, I have been given a report that mentions that fact in a very judgmental way. When I was in nursing school I took care of a man with a male partner and found the same attitude existed with some of the nurses. To be fair, other nurses are very respectful but enough are not that it's bothersome.
I live in an area with many illegal immigrants who don't speak English and are non-paying patients. They are never treated any less for having this status, and I'm proud of that fact. They are sick, they have rights, and they and their families deserve respect. We have patients from different religious backgrounds and the parents wear traditional attire, and we make sure they are served food and have their times of prayer accommodated. We pass on cultural needs but I have never heard it mentioned in a derogatory way or with the eye rolls that accompany reports of the patients with gay parents. I have never seen medical care affected by this, but the attitude is there.
Has anyone else encountered this? What can be done about it?
I don't have any gay co-workers (that I know of), but I've had several gay patients and for some reason a few nurses who have given me report on these patients feel the need to mention that they are "flamboyant" or that they are gay at all. And I flat out ask them why that is relevant to anything. I don't care if someone is gay and will never understand the hang up against gay people. Why do you care who someone else is sleeping with? Mind 'yo business.
I'm not sure if I work with any RN's who are gay/homosexual but I think one of the aides is and it's all good. Everyone is respectful of everyone else. I used to work with an openly gay/homosexual RN at another hospital and it was the same there as well.
I am probably going to get hissed at for saying this....
I have a problem with this remedy becauses the child of the disrespectful parents is punished.
I also cringe at the thought that a 'screaming baby with no parents' would be used a tool for payback for disrespectful parents.
I get the sentiment but these actions involve using patients as pawns.
I think more appropriate means could be found to deal with this situation,
I agree. I felt a little guilty enjoying it.
It reminded me of a story that made the rounds recently (urban legend?) of a white airline passenger seated next to a person of color on the plane. The white woman rang for the steward and complained that no one should be forced to sit by an undesirable passenger. The steward agreed wholeheartedly and promptly transferred the black person an empty first class seat.
I love that story and no patients suffered in the making of it.
The only time we had an issue- in the hospital- was when one of our patients with 2 dads was in a double room. Her roommate's parents happened to be bigoted and when they overheard a conversation or picked up on the fact that there was a child in the second bedspace who was being raised by 2 men they requested a room change. So we moved the other patient and put a parentless screaming baby in with the family who complained. We weren't going to subject one of the nicest families we'd ever had on the floor to that kind of bigotry when their baby was very sick.
That should be one of the patient placement questions they ask on the NCLEX! (I kid--I realize the issues surrounding this room assignment.)
I was raised in a time and place where bigotry against LGBT people was the norm and publicly practiced. As I aged, the majority of the people in my social group remained bigoted towards LGBTs -- not antipathetic, just bigoted... a them-and-us kind of thing.
This attitude continued for me for a very long time. I didn't have a 'problem' with gay people but I definitely saw them as something different than me... as a 'them.' Even as I would leap to criticize a family member who emphatically stated that he would disown one of his children were they to be gay, deep in my heart I would still identify gay people as 'gay' and straight people (some other label of bigotry notwithstanding) simply as 'people' (if that makes sense).
While I was in nursing school, we did a unit on LGBT healthcare issues and my own bigotry started to be more revealed to myself. Through a family Facebook post with a rainbow painted on the cheek of my alpha-male bro-in-law, it finally became crystal-clear to me that I had this deep-seated bias against gay people. At the same time, one of my most-favored classmate began sharing some of her experiences as a gay woman and I began to come to terms with the number of times in my life that I had probably marginalized LGBT people. I was horrified because this is not at all how I view myself. Having spent most of my adult life working with people of various races and religions, I'd been authentically accepting of them as one of "me" but it turns out that I'd long-ago accepted the caricatures and stereotypes of gay people that I'd been seeing since I was a child. Nearly everybody else was a "me" but gay people remained a "them."
Once I became aware of my own bias, I've worked hard to expose it and eliminate it. It turns out that three of my most-favored colleagues also happen to be gay. Rather than defining them by their orientation, however, I define them instead by their personalities and skills -- which happen to be excellent. In fact, the one person with whom I probably have the most in common at work turns out to be openly gay... though it wasn't apparent until we began to share our life stories -- his orientation is no different than mine... it's a core piece of him, not something to be emphasized or flaunted but nothing to be hidden, either. Slowly and steadily, my learned biases have been slowly replaced by true acceptance... that is, that orientation means nothing to me.
Interestingly, I've had trouble verbalizing acceptance of spousal terms regarding same-sex couples. I can verbalize the term "partner" or "spouse" without difficulty but I still occasionally have a momentary hiccup using the term "your husband" when referring to a man's spouse or "your wife" when referring a woman's spouse. My approach as been to be upfront about it so that if it manifest itself, it can be labeled and identified as what it is: A habitual throwback to my long-learned and long-reinforced biases and not a reflection of my heart or rational mind.
In my workplace, I am not aware of any overt or covert bias against LGBT people and I'm quite certain that it would be shunned were it apparent. For that, I'm glad. My own historical bias saddens me but I'm grateful to be moving away from a "me" and "them" to an "us."
Conservative state, fairly liberal workplace. Have worked with several openly gay coworkers there; everyone knows, no one really cares. We talk about spouses, partners, etc. and it's no big deal.
That said, I don't believe we're there yet. This is still a reddish-purple state and there are still a fair number of people who strongly believe that LGBT folks should not have equal rights.
We've taken care of women having babies with their female partner as the support person (this was before marriage equality) as well as women surrogating for two male partners. Sometimes it takes us a bit to figure out who's who, but that's true for any family and isn't reflective of bigotry....at least not in the OB context. Frankly, as long as a child comes into a loving family, I don't care if they have six mommies.
Diversity is a good thing. Every patient deserves to be treated with respect, regardless of lifestyle. Thankfully, I live in an area that accepts and celebrates every kind of person.
Content of character as opposed to anything else. We live in a United States that I am pleased that 3/4 of states recognize same sex marriages, and they are able to enjoy the freedoms that belong to all people.
And yes, a transgendered person should be called whatever name they have taken. I look at this as akin to a little old lady wanting to be called "Mrs. Such and So" as opposed to "Millie".
Are there really nurses who are so caught up in the "alternate" lifestyle of a patient that it overrides quality care? I certainly hope not. Because what ya'll are seeing as "alternate" is rapidly becoming more and more mainstream.
I interned in an ER this winter and the staff knew I was gay. I had no issues. There was also an openly gay physician there and he seemed to get along with everyone. I also live in rural Oklahoma, so that was rather surprising.
It reminded me of a story that made the rounds recently (urban legend?) of a white airline passenger seated next to a person of color on the plane. The white woman rang for the steward and complained that no one should be forced to sit by an undesirable passenger. The steward agreed wholeheartedly and promptly transferred the black person an empty first class seat.
I love that story and no patients suffered in the making of it.
Yes, I saw that story in a short video making the rounds on Facebook. It may have originally been in German, with subtitles.
I've never noticed any issues. I personally don't have any problem with LGBT nurses or patients. If I did, it shouldn't show in the way that I treat them or speak about them. That's part of being a professional.
I do like to get a heads up so I don't say something silly or have to go and "this is yooourr...
QuarterLife88, MSN, RN, NP
549 Posts
I don't have any gay co-workers (that I know of), but I've had several gay patients and for some reason a few nurses who have given me report on these patients feel the need to mention that they are "flamboyant" or that they are gay at all. And I flat out ask them why that is relevant to anything. I don't care if someone is gay and will never understand the hang up against gay people. Why do you care who someone else is sleeping with? Mind 'yo business.