Tolerance and acceptace of gay nurses and patients

[anon456, BSN, RN]

There has been news recently of a transgender teen who committed suicide because her parents did not accept her and she felt society didn't, either. With that in mind, I started thinking about nursing culture and attitudes towards those who have alternative sexual orientations. How would this teen have been treated at our facility if she came in with an illness? Would we have treated her with respect? Would we have remembered to call her by her preferred name (obviously still checking name band with legal name)? What would have been our private thoughts about this patient: a messed-up kid, or a kid who knows who they are?

I have noticed -- and maybe it's just the area where I live -- that nurses seem to be tolerant and judgmental towards nurses of diverse cultures and backgrounds and disabilities, but when it comes to being homosexual there seems to be a lack of acceptance. There are a couple of nurses who have confided in me that other nurse coworkers are "probably gay" and list the reasons they think that. We have two openly gay staff and I have never seen them treated poorly because of this, but the ones who are "probably gay" are.

When I bring up the topic in a general way some nurses are offended or have strong opinions. One of my late-night talks with another nurse (charting at our stations) was about what we would do if one of our children revealed themselves to be gay. We were both agreeing that we would be accepting of it, but another nurse spoke out very strongly that none of her kids would ever be gay. Two others, who belong to a conservative religious movement that's big in our area decided they would get up and leave the conversation altogether.

When we've had a couple of peds patients with gay parents, I have been given a report that mentions that fact in a very judgmental way. When I was in nursing school I took care of a man with a male partner and found the same attitude existed with some of the nurses. To be fair, other nurses are very respectful but enough are not that it's bothersome.

I live in an area with many illegal immigrants who don't speak English and are non-paying patients. They are never treated any less for having this status, and I'm proud of that fact. They are sick, they have rights, and they and their families deserve respect. We have patients from different religious backgrounds and the parents wear traditional attire, and we make sure they are served food and have their times of prayer accommodated. We pass on cultural needs but I have never heard it mentioned in a derogatory way or with the eye rolls that accompany reports of the patients with gay parents. I have never seen medical care affected by this, but the attitude is there.

Has anyone else encountered this? What can be done about it?

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

Maybe it's a regional thing? I work with several openly gay people (to my knowledge, more than any of my friends or family do) and personally haven't noticed any discrimination against them or patients/families in the context of work. I'm also in a quite liberal area.

Actually at school (RN-BSN bridge program at a state university) I've noticed more disdain for political conservatism...esp. fiscal conservatism.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

I just call people out on it and make it known I will not tolerate their outward intolerance. Just like if someone were outwardly racist.

If you're gonna be a bigot then you can be a bigot by your damn self.

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

Right ^^^ Personal opinions aside, we're all there to work. Patients and families are there to receive care. There's no reason to even bring it up.

[guest769224]

I am gay male and work with 3 lesbian women in our ICU. We are out to our coworkers and have been treated with acceptance and respect. About half of the staff in our ER is gay/lesbian. This is in Utah! Of all places.

I feel like my unit is very liberal and does a fantastic job of being nonjudgmental and giving patients the resources they need, regardless of "alternate lifestyles".

[akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P]

I'm a very straight male... and I have worked with male and female coworkers that are homosexuals. Some have been more openly so than others, but it's never been an issue with them or me. While I don't even pretend to understand that end of their lives, I also don't actually care much about that end of their lives because it doesn't impact me at all.

I have a brother that is gay and I have a great relationship with his partner. They've been through quite a bit together and as long as they're happy with their relationship, in particular, as long as my brother is happy with the relationship, I really don't care about the fact that they're gay.

I've had patients that were also of an "alternative lifestyle" as it's been termed at times, both openly and less so, and it's never been an issue. When I was working on an ambulance, I only had one rule and it was very effective: you act like a decent human being and I'll treat you like a decent human being. That was regardless of whether or not you were my partner for the day, a crew we picked up for transport, or a patient. That rule actually worked even with most of the patients I've ever had that were on psych holds for whatever reason...

So just act decently toward each other and you'll probably be pleasantly amazed at how well things go at work, especially if everyone goes along with the program.

[Libby1987]

It's disheartenimg to hear of this still going on amongst healthcare peeps, I'd have expected something higher.

[Emergent, RN]

Everyone has some group that they feel judgemental towards. I've seen it directed at Gays, Republicans, Christians, Mexicans, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, Mormons, Catholics.

I have a cousin who is Gay, you should hear the trash talk from him against Christians. My point being, not everyone will approve of us and our dearly held beliefs.

The workplace should be neutral ground. Sadly, if one ideology is more dominant, it can make minority opinion holders feel excluded. Gays aren't the only ones who experience this.

[fangirl]

I have a few gay patients and a few openly gay male nurses. As long as they do their job, who cares what they do at home?

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

I live in Massachusetts. I have not encountered this from nursing staff. I have always worked with gay co-workers- when they got married or had babies, the same work celebrations were held as when straight co-workers did. Working in pediatrics, I've had many patients with 2 moms or 2 dads over the years. I consider it to be a non-issue. The only time we had an issue- in the hospital- was when one of our patients with 2 dads was in a double room. Her roommate's parents happened to be bigoted and when they overheard a conversation or picked up on the fact that there was a child in the second bedspace who was being raised by 2 men they requested a room change. So we moved the other patient and put a parentless screaming baby in with the family who complained. We weren't going to subject one of the nicest families we'd ever had on the floor to that kind of bigotry when their baby was very sick.

[Karou]

I live in Texas (Bible Belt) and I am pleased to admit that I have not noticed this attitude at my workplace, although that kind of prejudice is prevalent in my area. My coworkers, if they harbor these feelings in their personal life, seem very capable of keeping it professional/concealed at work.

We do mention it during report if the patients SO is of the same sex and staying with the patient, just so the oncoming staff know that is the patients SO (since you could assume it's a sibling or other relation). I always try to let oncoming staff know the relationship of visitors though, so no one makes one of those mistakes where you call a spouse the patients son/daughter or something equally embarrassing.

I don't know if I have LGBT coworkers. Everyone is fairly chatty on night shift and open about their families and personal life. It wouldn't surprise me though, and I don't think any of my coworkers would make a fuss over it.

[Wave Watcher]

I don't care if you are gay, lesbian, straight, bi, transgender or any other name given.....all I want to know is......will you watch my 10 patients while I go pee?? I am an HIV activist and supporter of those with HIV/AIDS...I work with a large gay/lesbian/transgender population. Last time I checked....we all have bellybuttons. Well, except this guy named Frank....said it was a banana cart accident....you should have seen the monkey pushing it.

Not really. :-) One Love my friends.