Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Do not drop your daughter who is threatening suicide off in the parking lot next to the ER and tell her to check herself in, especially not when there is a very tall parking garage next door.

Never ever ever car surf. Also, if your best friend does decide to car surf while you are driving, don't slam on the brakes as soon as he gets up there.QUOTE]

What happened to these people?

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Specializes in ICU.

Okay, my first two were not funny, but really sad. The daughter jumped off the parking garage and died. The car surfer was declared brain dead the next day. :(

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
something similar happened at one of our local hospitals. a patient was hooked up to oxygen, and had a visitor who oh-so-kindly brought him cigarettes. and matches to light them with.

i'm thinking that having almost thirty other patients evacuated, 4 of them treated for smoke inhalation, the $14,000 in damages to the hospital and the man's subsequent death were probably not worth it. just guessing.:nono:

if your partner who has just snorted some cocaine complains of severe left sided chest pain radiating to the arm, shortness of breath and nausea then collapses in the shower, please call 911. please do not shoot him up with whatever you've been enjoying because "he won't get the good stuff in the hospital."

if your mother who has dementia wants to visit your father in the hospital, please accompany her. do not just drop her off and expect the nurses to care for her for the next week along with your father who is actually the patient.

if the hospital calls you to tell you your demented old mother needs to be picked up because she's been harassing other patients, please pick her up and take her home, to your sister's house, to your house, or to the assisted living facility the social worker hooked you up with. do not pick her up, take her to the lobby, park her in a chair and leave her there.

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OMG what a great deal of stuff to look forward to LOL and to think I volunteered to specialize in ER Not gonna be boring HUH?

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

if your mother who has dementia wants to visit your father in the hospital, please accompany her. do not just drop her off and expect the nurses to care for her for the next week along with your father who is actually the patient.

if the hospital calls you to tell you your demented old mother needs to be picked up because she's been harassing other patients, please pick her up and take her home, to your sister's house, to your house, or to the assisted living facility the social worker hooked you up with. do not pick her up, take her to the lobby, park her in a chair and leave her there.

:crying2::uhoh3::uhoh21: oh my! great way to treat mom and dad. :no:

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Specializes in NICU.

if your mother who has dementia wants to visit your father in the hospital, please accompany her. do not just drop her off and expect the nurses to care for her for the next week along with your father who is actually the patient.

actually had this happen too.. demented wife slept on the pull out chair. received meals from dietary. the nurses and the patient ended up taking care of her all week. no one said anything though. we felt too sorry for her. she was cute. she didn't speak though. patient (husband) said she quit speaking a year before. it was sad. the patient apologized profusely. he was the main caregiver for the lady. and with him being in the hospital she didn't have anyone to care for her.

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Specializes in Retired OR nurse/Tissue bank technician.

A couple:

1. When coming out of a concert and heading to the subway, don't try to get ahead of the mass of people taking the stairs and escalators by attempting to slide down the banister.

You'll fall ~2 1/2 stories straight down, land on the back of your head and wind up brain dead. The recipients of your organs and tissues will thank you, but your family will never get over the loss.

2. No matter how small your community or how skilled you are, don't go without a bike helmet. Hitting a small bump in the road may cause you to fall off your bike and hit your head on the curb. Again, the recipients of your organs/tissues will be happy, but your family-particularly your young daughter-will never be the same again.

3. When your doctor tells you no lifting over 5lb after your right lobectomy, that does NOT mean no lifting over that weight only on your right side; that means BOTH arms.

4. We aren't trying to torture you by saying you can't go out to smoke. When you don't listen to us and go out anyway, don't look to us for much sympathy when you start puking your guts out afterward.

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Specializes in surg/tele.

Regarding previous post:

"If your blood type is O+ and your husband's blood type is O-, and your baby's blood type is B+, don't get mad when your pediatrician tells you and your husband that the kid isn't his... and don't threaten to sue the pediatrician, the lab, the OB/GYN doc, and all the nurses if he leaves you for it."

I have a technical question about this. Is it the pediatrician's place to inform hubby that he is not the dad? And since hubby is not the dad, is it a HIPPA violation to give him medical information about the baby without the mom's consent. I know hubby should be informed, but can the Dr legally do this?

Jen

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Regarding previous post:

"If your blood type is O+ and your husband's blood type is O-, and your baby's blood type is B+, don't get mad when your pediatrician tells you and your husband that the kid isn't his... and don't threaten to sue the pediatrician, the lab, the OB/GYN doc, and all the nurses if he leaves you for it."

I have a technical question about this. Is it the pediatrician's place to inform hubby that he is not the dad? And since hubby is not the dad, is it a HIPPA violation to give him medical information about the baby without the mom's consent. I know hubby should be informed, but can the Dr legally do this?

Jen

In many states, by law if a man is married to a woman at the time a child is born, then BY LAW he is the LEGAL father of the child, biology and DNA has nothing to do with it. Being the LEGAL father, this man will be forced to pay child support and will be forced to care for this child until 1.)age 18, 2.) life if said child is disabled, or 3.) biological father comes forward and successfully petitions and sues for custody of child. Also being the LEGAL father, the man has the rights to the child's medical records. No HIPAA violation occurred.

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It was still in poor taste for the Dr to have said anything, unless he was asked directly by the presumed father. :twocents:

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Specializes in NICU.

I could also see the conversation going like this:

MOB/FOB: What's the baby's blood type?

MD: B

FOB: Wait... I'm O and mom is O. Isn't that impossible?

MD: Um, yep.

FOB: Grrrrr.

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

I have a technical question about this. Is it the pediatrician's place to inform hubby that he is not the dad? And since hubby is not the dad, is it a HIPPA violation to give him medical information about the baby without the mom's consent. I know hubby should be informed, but can the Dr legally do this?

Jen

IMO- no, it's not the pediatrician's place to do so. Let a lawyer or someone like that do it. And since the 'dad' is acting as a parenting figure to the baby, then it wouldn't be a hippa violation.

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