Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

babynurselsa, RN · Jun 14, 2007

Red delicious apple ARE FOR EATING, not gratification.

TRUENURSE84, ASN, RN · Jun 14, 2007

dont shout at the nurse taking care of ur mother and then ran to the pt affairs office telling them that (the nurse may kill my mother because she is angry with me ) :flamesonb the nurse will seriously start thinking to kill someone ,definitly not the pt

TazziRN, RN · Jun 16, 2007

Red delicious apple ARE FOR EATING, not gratification.

Ditto for cucumbers, carrots, and zucchinis

amethystwings333 · Jun 16, 2007

If your cracked out on Meth and have Graves Disease and are non compliant with your thyroid meds, dont go walking your two very hyper pit bulls at the same time, only to fall down a set of porch steps break your hip and be put in bucks traction because you cant have surgery til the doctor gets your big ole goiter on your neck under control first. and then dont get mad at the docs because your lying in agony for days!!!(and she is only 33)

:smackingfwhat a handful!!!!

Sisukas · Jun 16, 2007

If you decide to stop your anti-hypertensives because they make you impotent, keep the benefits of that decision between you and your wife. If you decide to take a mistress, you will have your stroke in her bed.

When your big brother tells you that duct tape over your nose and mouth will force you to breathe out of your ears, don't believe him. (God truly does protect children and idiots.)

missdeevah, NP · Jun 17, 2007

awww man! i can't believe there's no more pages to go through! i've been reading this all weekend, and this has got to be the best thread i have ever read on any forum, hands down!

only one i can think of as a nursing student is:

don't go to your assigned patient who is a bilateral above-knee amputee and have him ask you what you are about to do, and begin to say "head to toe assessment," then catch yourself in time and say "head to uhm..." then look helplessly at your instructor for help, but she is stiffling a huge gash of laughter and can't help you, and have the other student finish your sentence for you by saying "head to toe assessment," because she has not realized that your patient has no toes!

nialloh, RN · Jun 19, 2007

Don't turn off your pump and remove the tubing becouse the machine is beeping. Then don't open the clamp becouse you decide you really need that med. You might end up with a 20,000 unit heparin bolus in 20 minutes.

This happend yesterday.

crissrn27, RN · Jun 21, 2007

Don't turn off your pump and remove the tubing becouse the machine is beeping. Then don't open the clamp becouse you decide you really need that med. You might end up with a 20,000 unit heparin bolus in 20 minutes.
This happend yesterday.

Oh my, and how did this turn out?

nialloh, RN · Jun 21, 2007

Oh my, and how did this turn out?

He was fine. He is a 45 year old, very big man. I thought he would bleed out, or at the very least, have a bruse. But no, nothing happend. He now thinks we are crazy for over reacting.

All we did was stop the heparin for aprox 6 hours and check him again. The problem is, he is now at risk for H.I.T

Daywalker · Jun 21, 2007

If you are non-compliant diabetic, do not complain when I come to draw your blood every 2 hrs because you passed out after downing 20oz of pop (NOT diet) and 2 cinnamon danishes, and haven't taken your insulin regularly for a week. I won't have any sympathy for you, and neither will your nurse when she comes and holds you down for me.

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2007

Do not hang out, reading the Bible on the porch of the local house that you really honestly didn't know was a Crack house, at 3:00 AM, absolutely minding your own business....because "Some Dude" will come along and and shoot you for no apparent reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO

somedood... you never know when he might show up.

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2007

never use nitro paste as a rash cream

OOOOHHHHHH thats a really good one. I love it!