Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary!
Anybody got anything to add?
If your cracked out on Meth and have Graves Disease and are non compliant with your thyroid meds, dont go walking your two very hyper pit bulls at the same time, only to fall down a set of porch steps break your hip and be put in bucks traction because you cant have surgery til the doctor gets your big ole goiter on your neck under control first. and then dont get mad at the docs because your lying in agony for days!!!(and she is only 33)
:smackingfwhat a handful!!!!
If you decide to stop your anti-hypertensives because they make you impotent, keep the benefits of that decision between you and your wife. If you decide to take a mistress, you will have your stroke in her bed.
When your big brother tells you that duct tape over your nose and mouth will force you to breathe out of your ears, don't believe him. (God truly does protect children and idiots.)
awww man! i can't believe there's no more pages to go through! i've been reading this all weekend, and this has got to be the best thread i have ever read on any forum, hands down!
only one i can think of as a nursing student is:
don't go to your assigned patient who is a bilateral above-knee amputee and have him ask you what you are about to do, and begin to say "head to toe assessment," then catch yourself in time and say "head to uhm..." then look helplessly at your instructor for help, but she is stiffling a huge gash of laughter and can't help you, and have the other student finish your sentence for you by saying "head to toe assessment," because she has not realized that your patient has no toes!
Oh my, and how did this turn out?
He was fine. He is a 45 year old, very big man. I thought he would bleed out, or at the very least, have a bruse. But no, nothing happend. He now thinks we are crazy for over reacting.
All we did was stop the heparin for aprox 6 hours and check him again. The problem is, he is now at risk for H.I.T
If you are non-compliant diabetic, do not complain when I come to draw your blood every 2 hrs because you passed out after downing 20oz of pop (NOT diet) and 2 cinnamon danishes, and haven't taken your insulin regularly for a week. I won't have any sympathy for you, and neither will your nurse when she comes and holds you down for me.
Do not hang out, reading the Bible on the porch of the local house that you really honestly didn't know was a Crack house, at 3:00 AM, absolutely minding your own business....because "Some Dude" will come along and and shoot you for no apparent reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROFLMAO
somedood... you never know when he might show up.
babynurselsa, RN
1,129 Posts
Red delicious apple ARE FOR EATING, not gratification.