Being in your situation a couple of years ago I found that it wasn't the mothers wishes I had problems with, it was the medical staff. They mostly did zero education into the benefits/risk of AROM, monitors, etc. before labor so roughly 75% of the women weren't even given the info they needed to decide what they wanted before hand. Labor is NOT the time to have to make those decisions. Not that they were really given a choice at that point either.
The women that did come in knowing what they wanted and didn't want were treated horribly. Made fun of, picked on, and in a couple of cases things were done that they didn't want done even as they were screaming not to do it(b/c the docs were tired of waiting, not b/c babe was in trouble). That was tough. Even if they came in wanting an immediate epidural, AROM, pit, section, etc the above happened. You just couldn't win with some of the docs and nurses. Nothing that the mother chose was right and how dare they come in with any type of plan, etc.
Not that every doc or nurse was like that, but enough that it made a huge impact on care. There were some rocking nurses that really advocated for the patients and helped the moms get what they wanted and needed, but that was not the norm.
Seemed like fate when I got sick and had to go on medical leave. When I was well enough to go back to work I choose a different specialty. If there was a birthing center near me I so would go back, I really feel like it is my calling. I just had a hard time dealing with all that took place in a regular L and d dept.