Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

Nurset1981 · Sep 26, 2006

Never roll around under a pine tree...a pine cone could get "lodged" in your orifice .

scaredofshots · Oct 1, 2006

Never ever give a drunk a pair of scrubs to put on just because he refuses to wear a hospital gown and has barf all over his own clothes because he just might think that he is employed now and start seeing patients!!!! Whew scarrry!!!!

enfermeraSG · Oct 1, 2006

Never ever give a drunk a pair of scrubs to put on just because he refuses to wear a hospital gown and has barf all over his own clothes because he just might think that he is employed now and start seeing patients!!!! Whew scarrry!!!!

OMG!! :uhoh3:

I can't believe that (oh,yes I can!). We actually have a policy at our hospital that we cannot let any non-employee use our scrubs for any reason. In the ER we have this closet full of donated clothing for them if needed. I never even thought of anything like that happening though! What I'm picturing is funny in a sick way! SG

banditrn · Oct 3, 2006

Never roll around under a pine tree...a pine cone could get "lodged" in your orifice .

Ouch, ouch, ouch!! Wonder if this was the same guy who, while walking naked across his kitchen, fell upon a cucumber that just happened to be in the uprite position?!!

grace90, LPN, LVN · Oct 6, 2006

Here's a dumb-dumb I just did. About two weeks ago, the metal part of my stethoscope poked through the rubber earpiece as I was pressing it into my ear to assess a pt's lung sounds, and went into my ear. I started having nasty ear pain, and pain on that side of my face. I tried putting tea tree oil and olive oil in it for a couple weeks, but the pain kept getting bad, especially on work nights when I'd be using my stethoscope. Last night at work the pain got so bad I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I finally saw the NP at my primary's office today and sure enough, I have a badly infected ear with a perforated ear drum. Got mildly scolded by the NP for not coming in sooner, and strongly warned to come back if the abx don't work.

Liddle Noodnik · Oct 7, 2006

Here's a dumb-dumb I just did. About two weeks ago, the metal part of my stethoscope poked through the rubber earpiece as I was pressing it into my ear to assess a pt's lung sounds, and went into my ear. I started having nasty ear pain, and pain on that side of my face. I tried putting tea tree oil and olive oil in it for a couple weeks, but the pain kept getting bad, especially on work nights when I'd be using my stethoscope. Last night at work the pain got so bad I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I finally saw the NP at my primary's office today and sure enough, I have a badly infected ear with a perforated ear drum. Got mildly scolded by the NP for not coming in sooner, and strongly warned to come back if the abx don't work.

HOLY EARWAX, Batwoman!

So sorry to hear that, that sounds really painful!

Nurse`Chief~Chickie · Oct 7, 2006

the nurses desk is not the place to call if you look outside and your car is gone. even if you were just at our facility yesterday. we are a small hospital, theres only so much we can do! :rolleyes: i had to actually tell her that if she drove it home from here, perhaps the sherrifs dept was better suited to help with this problem. :idea:

AuntieRN · Oct 7, 2006

Don't dial 911 from the courtesy phone in the ER because you want a ride home.....We are 911!!!!

tiggerforhim · Nov 17, 2006

Never push your less-than-a-year-old child off the couch/bed/chair, etc. so they will fall before they're a year old. You may have to spend time with your child admitted to the hospital for a severe fracture of the ________ (fill in the blank) and your child will go through needless pain and suffering.

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 17, 2006

Never push your less-than-a-year-old child off the couch/bed/chair, etc. so they will fall before they're a year old. You may have to spend time with your child admitted to the hospital for a severe fracture of the ________ (fill in the blank) and your child will go through needless pain and suffering.

Never have a heart attack while hanging out with your girlfriend, and be brought to the ER, who will then call the "emergency contact" (your wife) to come in, and then code and die.

Makes things REAL awkward, and not just for the nurse.

wolfgirl · Nov 17, 2006

Never smoke a cigarette while carrying around an O2 tank (you'd think that one would be a "duh", but I've seen it).

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 17, 2006

Never smoke a cigarette while carrying around an O2 tank (you'd think that one would be a "duh", but I've seen it).

Never leave a patient alone on the "smoking porch" with a smoking apron on(something that is supposed to be inflammable) that already has SEVERAL burn holes, a sure sign that it's not WORK-inggg, helloooo...!

Very tragic outcome