Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 23, 2006

Hmm, I suspect my mother must believe that, because all 5 of us have "fallen" off a couch or a bed before a year old. Interesting...

My son when he was about 6 weeks old fell off the waterbed. I had placed him near to the middle of the bed but apparently not near enough, and I turned my back for a second but apparently for a second too long. He rolled off and hit the floor, I picked him up, I was crying SO hard. That's when HE started crying LOL

To this day I tell my son that he fell off the bed because he FARTED, and it made a big wave in the waterbed. He still smiles to hear me tell it (you should have heard him giggle about it when he was little).

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 23, 2006

rofl! i just read this whole thread during a very dull pre-holiday work day. i'm amused and amazed at the things people have seen. can't wait to get out there and see what else i come across.
one of my own from earlier this year:
when you go to an er for a concussion with your bf and the admitting nurse asks what happened, don't just say you fell with no explanation because you're embarrased about falling at a hand's on exhibit at a children's museum - they'll think you're bf beats you.

It's too bad we have to consider the possiblity tho isn't it?

Keshet · Nov 25, 2006

When you are on vacation to a dude ranch in another state, never say, "Hey, guys, want to see my cool horse trick?", and then get on a horse, head him straight for a tree at high speed, and then grab the tree trunk with your left arm while giving your famous Tarzan yell as you swing off the horse. It will leave you with pulmonary contusions, flail chest with hemo/pneumothorax, multiple fractures, and a long stay in the ICU.

BTW, the 28-weeker was born in the snow alongside the highway, where we found him blue and cold. On the helicopter flight back, he was intubated and warmed, and he did survive. We nicknamed him Frosty, and unfortunately saw him often during his first year when he was brought in for respiratory problems due to his traumatic birth.

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 26, 2006

When you are on vacation to a dude ranch in another state, never say, "Hey, guys, want to see my cool horse trick?", and then get on a horse, head him straight for a tree at high speed, and then grab the tree trunk with your left arm while giving your famous Tarzan yell as you swing off the horse. It will leave you with pulmonary contusions, flail chest with hemo/pneumothorax, multiple fractures, and a long stay in the ICU.
BTW, the 28-weeker was born in the snow alongside the highway, where we found him blue and cold. On the helicopter flight back, he was intubated and warmed, and he did survive. We nicknamed him Frosty, and unfortunately saw him often during his first year when he was brought in for respiratory problems due to his traumatic birth.

Wow as to both!

danissa, LPN, LVN · Nov 26, 2006

My son when he was about 6 weeks old fell off the waterbed. I had placed him near to the middle of the bed but apparently not near enough, and I turned my back for a second but apparently for a second too long. He rolled off and hit the floor, I picked him up, I was crying SO hard. That's when HE started crying LOL
To this day I tell my son that he fell off the bed because he FARTED, and it made a big wave in the waterbed. He still smiles to hear me tell it (you should have heard him giggle about it when he was little).

How athletic are babies anyway? Did the same kinda thing with my dd hollie, she was around six weeks old and we were at my Granmas. Granma in the kitchen making tea, and I put Hollie at the very back of the couch and quickly nipped to the kitchen for something. Next thing THUD!!!! then one seemingly bionic 72 yr old pushes and runs past me to pick up this babe who had rolled right across the big couch in the space of nano seconds, (or so it seemed!!!) babe was fine, so was Granma, I was amazed at the prowess of the gorgeous two of them, couldn't decide who was the most amazing speed wise. Be assured though, never put any of the two of them in that situ again!! :lol2:

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 26, 2006

... then one seemingly bionic 72 yr old pushes and runs past me to pick up this babe :

HA HA HA - What a picture in my mind, like Granny Clampett (giggle)

diamondislove · Nov 26, 2006

Meth was what i took when i met myself at the ICU recovering.

Life is sweet and fun only when u believe in it.

Dependency takes u further away from reality and by the time you realize it, u damn too dependent.

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 26, 2006

Meth was what i took when i met myself at the ICU recovering.
Life is sweet and fun only when u believe in it.
Dependency takes u further away from reality and by the time you realize it, u damn too dependent.

It is true Diamond, not meth but other stuff on my part. 21 years clean and sober next month, it's worth it. Not always easy but worth it.

Glad to hear that you met yourself!

Kayartea · Nov 29, 2006

When you are 50 miles from home and have a fight with your boyfriend, do not call EMS and tell them you are having a miscarriage and insist on going to your local hospital to get a ride home. The EMT's and recieving doc will not be amused.

When you are eight months pregnant, do not dip yourself in dog dip to get rid of scabies.

Do not go to the ER at 3am Sunday morning to have the rash your 15 y/o daughter had had for 3 weeks checked out.

babynurselsa, RN · Nov 29, 2006

Do NOT show up at 2330 on a Sunday night with your 14 year old and "a list" of 4 month old complaints. Just because when you got that state insurance card and they told you you could "go wherever" you wanted That was not what they meant...... And NO you may not have a school note and a note for you to miss work on Monday.

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 29, 2006

When you are 50 miles from home and have a fight with your boyfriend, do not call EMS and tell them you are having a miscarriage and insist on going to your local hospital to get a ride home. The EMT's and recieving doc will not be amused.
When you are eight months pregnant, do not dip yourself in dog dip to get rid of scabies.
Do not go to the ER at 3am Sunday morning to have the rash your 15 y/o daughter had had for 3 weeks checked out.

Sounds like the DARWIN awards!

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 29, 2006

Do NOT show up at 2330 on a Sunday night with your 14 year old and "a list" of 4 month old complaints. Just because when you got that state insurance card and they told you you could "go wherever" you wanted That was not what they meant...... And NO you may not have a school note and a note for you to miss work on Monday.

That's a lot of work to get out of going to work/school LOL