Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

nursejohio, ASN, RN · Nov 18, 2006

Never leave a patient alone on the "smoking porch" with a smoking apron on(something that is supposed to be inflammable) that already has SEVERAL burn holes, a sure sign that it's not WORK-inggg, helloooo...!
Very tragic outcome

That just sounds bad:chair:

TDub, MSN, EdD · Nov 19, 2006

Never push your less-than-a-year-old child off the couch/bed/chair, etc. so they will fall before they're a year old. You may have to spend time with your child admitted to the hospital for a severe fracture of the ________ (fill in the blank) and your child will go through needless pain and suffering.

Is there some folk wisdom about falling before you are a year old?

JosieKitty · Nov 20, 2006

One of the GROSSEST things that a patient taught me is to never, ever insert a whole, frozen fish into the lady parts and leave it there (for a week!) to 'cure' an infection!!! I also learned from this to wear a gas mask while the MD is removing this mess...:trout:

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 20, 2006

One of the GROSSEST things that a patient taught me is to never, ever insert a whole, frozen fish into the lady parts and leave it there (for a week!) to 'cure' an infection!!! I also learned from this to wear a gas mask while the MD is removing this mess...:trout:

(Runs screaming from room ...)

banditrn · Nov 20, 2006

One of the GROSSEST things that a patient taught me is to never, ever insert a whole, frozen fish into the lady parts and leave it there (for a week!) to 'cure' an infection!!! I also learned from this to wear a gas mask while the MD is removing this mess...:trout:

OMG - where do people come up with this stuff? That gal musta been swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool!:chair:

Keshet · Nov 21, 2006

Never use det cord as a fuse to light your illegal New Year's eve fireworks. But IF you do, don't wrap it around your wrist a few times before you light it.

Don't get drunk, get in the shower with a knife and screwdriver and try to remove the screws in your ankle yourself because you can't get an appointment with your orthopedic surgeon until next week.

When you live in a very rural area, don't go out in a snowstorm and try to hitchhike 60 miles to the nearest town with a clinic when you are 28 weeks pregnant and you start having abd cramps.

Don't "lose" a long vibrating object in your rectum, and then come to the ER and tell them you are having "abdomenal pain".

tiggerforhim · Nov 21, 2006

Is there some folk wisdom about falling before you are a year old?

Yes, supposedly if they don't fall off the couch before they are a year old they will be killed later in life by a terrible fall. At least that's the way I've heard it.

Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2006

.....Don't "lose" a long vibrating object in your rectum, and then come to the ER and tell them you are having "abdomenal pain".

There's a t-shirt for that situation....

"nurse betty" Design on Products : CafePress.com

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 22, 2006

Never use det cord as a fuse to light your illegal New Year's eve fireworks. But IF you do, don't wrap it around your wrist a few times before you light it.
Don't get drunk, get in the shower with a knife and screwdriver and try to remove the screws in your ankle yourself because you can't get an appointment with your orthopedic surgeon until next week.
When you live in a very rural area, don't go out in a snowstorm and try to hitchhike 60 miles to the nearest town with a clinic when you are 28 weeks pregnant and you start having abd cramps.
Don't "lose" a long vibrating object in your rectum, and then come to the ER and tell them you are having "abdomenal pain".

My sister often referred to someone with a low brain cell count as someone from "East Gish". I always wondered where that was. Now I know!

Liddle Noodnik · Nov 22, 2006

Yes, supposedly if they don't fall off the couch before they are a year old they will be killed later in life by a terrible fall. At least that's the way I've heard it.

HA HA HA

I don't even want you to EXPLAIN that to me!

TDub, MSN, EdD · Nov 22, 2006

Yes, supposedly if they don't fall off the couch before they are a year old they will be killed later in life by a terrible fall. At least that's the way I've heard it.

Hmm, I suspect my mother must believe that, because all 5 of us have "fallen" off a couch or a bed before a year old. Interesting...

miss arron · Nov 22, 2006

rofl! i just read this whole thread during a very dull pre-holiday work day. i'm amused and amazed at the things people have seen. can't wait to get out there and see what else i come across.

one of my own from earlier this year:

when you go to an er for a concussion with your bf and the admitting nurse asks what happened, don't just say you fell with no explanation because you're embarrased about falling at a hand's on exhibit at a children's museum - they'll think you're bf beats you.