Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

ShelleyERgirl, LPN · Apr 8, 2009

Ewwwww!!!!!!!!!!!
Nasty!

:yeahthat:

Allizar · Apr 11, 2009

I'm not a nurse yet, but these are personal lessons that I am not afraid to share, most (surprisingly) did not require hospital care:

If you are 1 y/o and your mother sits you on the counter at wall-mart, you will roll off and break your collarbone (I was to young to remember it happening)

Do not let your girlfriend insert skittles into her female parts and tell you to "taste the rainbow" (Her idea! No medical treatment, but it was a "sticky situation" - I was around 14 or 15 and had no idea how to handle this, we were both freaking out)

If you roll over too quickly in bed while your girlfriend is reaching to the other side to turn off the alarm clock and you accidentally elbow her just below the eye, resulting in a huge bruise, you will receive hundreds of lectures and dirty looks from little old ladies; Regardless of how many times you both swear it was an accident (I was 22ish)

Don't infuriate your little sister when she is holding Windex, it hurts the eyes and does not make them shinier (I was 10 or 11, had to go to the hospital and have a few quarts of solution pumped in behind my eye to flush it out)

When riding a bike: Just because your friend looked back and started crossing a busy road, does not mean it is clear for you to go too. (He suddenly veered back off the road and I got hit be a car going 45 mph, I landed on the hood and got sling shot a few hundred feet over my friend, it knocked the wind of me and I remember seeing black>green>blue>green>black>green>blue>green. I landed in the grass and was otherwise unharmed)

If you are about to run across a busy road, make sure the truck you are about to run behind is not towing a large boat (I literally brushed the tip of my nose against the boat and had to do all kinds of matrix moves, but did not get hit)

If you walk barefoot, do not step in mud (Nice gash under my big toe from the piece of glass or something sharp buried in the mud)

If you still walk barefoot after the above happens and you step on a pine cone then rip it out real quick to keep walking with the girl you like, make sure it actually was just a pine cone and not a 2" piece of thick and wide glass standing on it's end (It never hurt enough for me to pay attention to, the girl I was walking with looked back and saw a solid blood trail about 100 feet long, then gave me a piggy back ride to the hospital around the corner, 11 stitches - I was 13ish)

Don't get your fingers stuck in the back of a covered bed truck, they will drive off (They said they were doing 35-45mph before they looked back and saw me, I somehow stayed upright running and using the momentum of the truck until I got my fingers free, then veered quickly for the grass and rolled myself into a ball, no injuries other then a few scratches - I was 16ish)

Don't try to pay a Taxi driver in Oman with Thai Baht, Norwegian Kronar or Malaysian Ringits, they do not know the exchange rates and you will be walking through the desert to your apartment at 3 am mildy intoxicated

Don't play with the cute little wild monkeys in Cambodia, one will sneak up behind you and steal the car keys you left on the table and run off into the jungle

As cute as they are, baby tigers bite hard (I sweet talked a little old asian lady into letting me play with them and help give one a bath in the back room of a zoo, they don't like water!)

Boys will be boys :icon_roll

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Apr 11, 2009

I'm not a nurse yet, but these are personal lessons that I am not afraid to share, most (surprisingly) did not require hospital care:
If you are 1 y/o and your mother sits you on the counter at wall-mart, you will roll off and break your collarbone (I was to young to remember it happening)
Do not let your girlfriend insert skittles into her female parts and tell you to "taste the rainbow" (Her idea! No medical treatment, but it was a "sticky situation" - I was around 14 or 15 and had no idea how to handle this, we were both freaking out)
If you roll over too quickly in bed while your girlfriend is reaching to the other side to turn off the alarm clock and you accidentally elbow her just below the eye, resulting in a huge bruise, you will receive hundreds of lectures and dirty looks from little old ladies; Regardless of how many times you both swear it was an accident (I was 22ish)
Don't infuriate your little sister when she is holding Windex, it hurts the eyes and does not make them shinier (I was 10 or 11, had to go to the hospital and have a few quarts of solution pumped in behind my eye to flush it out)
When riding a bike: Just because your friend looked back and started crossing a busy road, does not mean it is clear for you to go too. (He suddenly veered back off the road and I got hit be a car going 45 mph, I landed on the hood and got sling shot a few hundred feet over my friend, it knocked the wind of me and I remember seeing black>green>blue>green>black>green>blue>green. I landed in the grass and was otherwise unharmed)
If you are about to run across a busy road, make sure the truck you are about to run behind is not towing a large boat (I literally brushed the tip of my nose against the boat and had to do all kinds of matrix moves, but did not get hit)
If you walk barefoot, do not step in mud (Nice gash under my big toe from the piece of glass or something sharp buried in the mud)
If you still walk barefoot after the above happens and you step on a pine cone then rip it out real quick to keep walking with the girl you like, make sure it actually was just a pine cone and not a 2" piece of thick and wide glass standing on it's end (It never hurt enough for me to pay attention to, the girl I was walking with looked back and saw a solid blood trail about 100 feet long, then gave me a piggy back ride to the hospital around the corner, 11 stitches - I was 13ish)
Don't get your fingers stuck in the back of a covered bed truck, they will drive off (They said they were doing 35-45mph before they looked back and saw me, I somehow stayed upright running and using the momentum of the truck until I got my fingers free, then veered quickly for the grass and rolled myself into a ball, no injuries other then a few scratches - I was 16ish)
Don't try to pay a Taxi driver in Oman with Thai Baht, Norwegian Kronar or Malaysian Ringits, they do not know the exchange rates and you will be walking through the desert to your apartment at 3 am mildy intoxicated
Don't play with the cute little wild monkeys in Cambodia, one will sneak up behind you and steal the car keys you left on the table and run off into the jungle
As cute as they are, baby tigers bite hard (I sweet talked a little old asian lady into letting me play with them and help give one a bath in the back room of a zoo, they don't like water!)
Boys will be boys :icon_roll

I have three teenage sons.. 15,15 and 18... and yes, boys will be boys.. and men will be boys.. lol

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Apr 12, 2009

ouch twin 15 year old boys? that must be tough.

sunny261 · Apr 12, 2009

never jump off of your roof onto the trampoline "just to see how high you could go"

never try to remove a shotglass up your but with a pair of pliers

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Apr 14, 2009

We had an incident a while back where a guy had been grabbed by a police dog, managed to pick this big German Shepard up, and jump himself and the dog off the bridge. He did not die. The dog was not so lucky. Very sad. I think there is legislation that is being or has been introduced that if you hurt or kill a police dog, it's the same penalty as hurting or killing a police officer. Seems reasonable to me.

I disagree. Animal abuse is already illegal. Dogs are not people. Too many people consider their dogs their "babies", and want the dog treated accordingly; a law like that would give them more ammunition.

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Apr 14, 2009

Don't substitute cruise control for autopilot and get up to walk to the back of your van while driving down the freeway.

That's an urban legend.

psalm, RN · Apr 14, 2009

I disagree. Animal abuse is already illegal. Dogs are not people. Too many people consider their dogs their "babies", and want the dog treated accordingly; a law like that would give them more ammunition.

I think the point here is that the man picked up the Police Dog and jumped; and the Police Dog died. A police dog is a trained professional animal working with the police department, and its death is not to be taken lightly. It is not a "baby" of the department, but a trained animal that does work humans can't do. It still needs the police officer...obviously, it can't work alone. Its death is a major toll on the department. They didn't lose Fido, they lost a drug-sniffing, body-sniffing "officer".

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Apr 15, 2009

Yeah, I think the caveat in the story was that it refers to a police dog.

nialloh, RN · Apr 15, 2009

Also, you have to think, if it wasn't a dog he killed, would he have tried to kill the officer. He did jump off a bridge, so I don't think he cared.

azhiker96, BSN, RN · Apr 15, 2009

So if the police dogs are considered officers, who gets charged with what when a police dog attacks a police officer? :smackingf

EastBayCAStudent · Apr 15, 2009

If someone is such a criminal that they are in a situation where the police have to release a dog on them...and they STILL don't comply, then they deserve to have the book thrown at them.

I would be against treating the killing of any other animal as murder, though violence toward animals can preceed violence toward people so it is concerning. For police dogs it is just a different matter completely. There are just some people that need to be kept in jail for as long as possible.