Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

teeniebert, LPN · Feb 6, 2009

Never allow your wife to rub your back with an entire tube on nitrol paste.

:eek: did he survive long enough for the ambulance to get there? Yeesh!

HappyBunnyNurse · Feb 8, 2009

Never use Duct Tape to tape down your peg tube.... On second thought maybe that belongs on Jeff Foxworthy's site.

ktwlpn, LPN · Feb 10, 2009

Never use Duct Tape to tape down your peg tube.... .

Hey- I think that's a pretty good idea! I have a late stage Alzheimer's resident with a peg-she has pulled that sucker out a dozen times....And her family just don't get what she is trying to tell them...

nialloh, RN · Feb 12, 2009

Don't hit your Big Irish nurse in the head with your tele monitor. He will pick you up, put you on your bed, and you will find yourself in 2 point restraints before you can blink.:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire

sweetart_1980, RN, CNS · Mar 19, 2009

~If your are on dialysis and u need to go to the bathroom do not disconnect yourself from your blood tubing allowing your blood to pump out of said needle all over u and the bed...amazing amounts of blood will pump from the needle in the five seconds it takes for me to jump to the bedside.

~if your admitted with a "fractured member" dont think i will believe u when u tell me it happened when you were pulling up your pants.

~for nurses never put to confused patients in the same room together...they will throw poo at eachother and make poo murals on the wall

sing_anyway · Mar 19, 2009

thank you so much for these

Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN · Mar 20, 2009

one question: How???

The same way they do it to themselves - foreign objects.

Chewie_123 · Mar 22, 2009

What I recently learned from some family members:

When you spend the entire time your loved one is hospitalized asking every staff member or doctor that enters their room to increase the doses of their home pain medication, then threaten a doctor, two nurses, and a social worker all at the same time after the doc won't increase the dosage (because every single possible test for those drugs came back totally negative) with lawyers and extreme physical violence, we will call security, the cops, and APS on your butt. And run a few of those drug tests on you if we get lucky... :stone:

ssouthernyankee · Mar 31, 2009

What I recently learned from some family members:
When you spend the entire time your loved one is hospitalized asking every staff member or doctor that enters their room to increase the doses of their home pain medication, then threaten a doctor, two nurses, and a social worker all at the same time after the doc won't increase the dosage (because every single possible test for those drugs came back totally negative) with lawyers and extreme physical violence, we will call security, the cops, and APS on your butt. And run a few of those drug tests on you if we get lucky... :stone:

So sad but all to common.

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Apr 8, 2009

At our hospital....they are always "Bible Salesmen"..uh huh selling bibles, door to door at 2:00 a.m.......

When I lived in the 'hood, there were always ice cream trucks that came around after 9:00 pm, with lights and music. I doubt they were selling ice cream.

so alive LPN · Apr 8, 2009

If you are a crack addict with a trach stoma, please for the love of all thats good and holy don't let your crack dealer stick a certain body part in there in exchange for crack:barf02:. It will be disgusting when we have to look at it, and you will be the nursing station conversation for WEEKS.

On the same note, if you are said patient, please don't stick your not been cleaned or clipped in years fingernails waaaay up in your crack, and then scratch one of our techs. I promise I can and will get an order for restraints, and believe me, you won't like it.

jschut, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2009

Ewwwww!!!!!!!!!!!

Nasty!