Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

You are NOT our boss! Just because you decided to complete our schedule, therefore saving our actual boss the trouble of having to do the schedule, does NOT mean that you can boss us around like you try to do. YOU make mistakes just like the rest of us! So time to get off your high horse honey and back to the real world where you are no better than the rest of us!!!

Specializes in Private Duty, L&D.

For the love of God, PLEASE put on a bra and wear it under your too-tight scrubs. We CAN see everything. What message are you sending to the patients???

Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

To all the lazy workers: Go play in the traffic!! :smokin:

Specializes in Psych, OB-GYN.

You are a doll to work with, really, but for the love of Jesus, please wear some kind of undershirt, maybe even spanx?? Seeing your entire midsection when you sit down is kinda nasty. I just want to know, does the constant draft not bother you??

I'm truly sorry that my crystal ball is on the fritz and I didn't have the foresight to be able to give you the 4 hr notice when calling off for the 1st 1/2 of my 16 hr shift. React like that again, and next time I'll give 1 hour notices for the ENTIRE shift instead of 3 hrs and 40 minutes. Please, don't be surprised when your requests for shifts go unanswered this week. You change your attitude and I'll gladly change my availability.

I love you dear sweet weekend night supervisor. Seriously. I love that you're a free charge and when we're slow, you help us clean then disappear for the night. I don't know where you go, but I know if I need you, you're right back! thank you for your non-micromanaging style!!I wish I could work with your every night. You don't equate being an LVN as being stupid and incapable of doing my job!! I love that you never follow up with me unless you have a reason!! Will you marry me :)

Specializes in Neurosciences, Med-Surg-CNA.

"No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment."

My ABSOLUTE favorite comment!!! It drives me NUTS when the same nurses always come in complaining about their assignment EVERY day. Seriously? Is everyday that you work the worst day of your life?

Why don't you just stop complaining, do your job, and politely request to the charge nurse for a different assignment for the next day. =) I feel SO much better.

Specializes in Neurosciences, Med-Surg-CNA.

Oh and one more, I am glad that you had time on your night shift to look through my charting and medications to try to find the slightest mistake to call me out on. Meanwhile, I am in our patients room first thing in the morning cleaning up poop that has been stuck on his butt and leg for God only knows how long! Stop worrying about my work and DO YOUR OWN!!!

Specializes in L&D.

I hate how unprofessional you are. We work nights, Patients have enough to deal with and would like to get some sleep but how could they when you are being loud and obnoxious. Zip it!

Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

Please clean up after yourself. If you drop it, pick it up. If you spill it, wipe it up. If you use it, put it away!

I came back to work tonight after having 4 nights off and had our supply room all nice and neat and tonight it looks like a tornado went through it!! AND we're missing another set of EKG cables AGAIN!!!

Specializes in cardiology/oncology/MICU.

I wonder how your husband would feel if he could see the way you act or hear the things you talk about?

Do not call me 'thingy/her/she/the bank worker'. I introduced myself when i arrived and i have worked here frequently. I accept that some people are not good with names or may have a momentary memory lapse but i do have a name badge and if the LOL with dementia can remember me and my name from my last shift then im sure you can make more of an effort.

Ok I've helped you out before, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do your job for you. Quit taking advantage of those that help you.

Fine you are an LPN and I'm an RN. That doesn't mean I think I'm better than you. If you think you are not as good as me, then go back to school. You are a brilliant nurse (when you aren't complaining or being a loud mouthed witch) regardless of what your title is and I have no problems asking you questions when I didn't know the answers.

Facebook is not a place to complain about your co-workers. Especially if you have your co-workers as friends. It's a small facility. We all work together. And even if you think you are being clever in the way you are talking about a person without mentioning their name, we all know who you mean.

Specializes in Emergency Department.

Yes, we all know that your job is the latest brainchild of the hospital administration, who insist on kissing the rears of all the troglodites that frequent our ED. Your job description is to go from room to room, making sure the "customers" are "satisfied." In the off time, you're supposed to help the CNAs.

You've made it clear that YOU are too good to clean the rooms and actually help the CNAs. You prefer to stand in the back of the room, "directing" the codes rather than actually assist with chest compressions. You also enjoy demanding that the nursing staff give more pain meds whenever the patients ask, even if they just got some. And you say it with such great authority for someone who has no healthcare experience of any kind. Ever heard the term, "overdose"? No?

But the kicker came when you heard that some patient was going to be discharged, so you went to the pharmacy on your own, got the take-home meds for the patient, put the patient in the wheelchair, did "discharge instructions," and sent the patient home, all without any of the RNs' knowledge. And you DON'T understand why this upset all the licensed personnel?

I know you think you're the administration's gift to the ED, but, frankly, you just annoy me, and I wouldn't want you near a dog I liked. That's why I told you to get the h*** out of my room when I came in with meningitis.

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