Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

[General E. Speaking, RN]

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

[Poi Dog]

A call bell goes off and all of a sudden you are hearing impaired.

Thanks for helping me out last night. I had told you that I would be in the room of a patient with MRSA bathing her and changing the sheets. I had every piece of contact precautions gear on and looked like something out of a Hazmat nightmare. You had the time to come and tell me that Miss L's call light was ringing. Did you expect me to leave the patient because you are were too lazy to answer the light? You suck.

I told you three times that I can not pick up a shift tomorrow. Ask me once more time and I will throw this urine filled bedpan at you because I crazy like that.

[MedicalLPN, LPN]

Go to work, do your job, and go home and live your life, turning your workplace into a chaotic soap opera for your own enjoyment because you are miserable with your life is NOT okay.

No, I don't want to hear about your special connection with the baby Jesus while I'm charting, because honestly I could care less.

Don't leave me pamphlets from your church on how to find Jesus in my mailbox, the sanctity of my soul is none of your concern.

Don't be surprised when I respond angrily when asked to do an extra shift when you wake me up at 10am after I worked the night before.

I know your sex life is exciting, but when I feel like I need to bathe after talking to you it's probably best to keep your stories to yourself.

Kids are great, but I just met you five minutes ago and I have seven patients to go take care of, do you have to show me 53 pictures of them and tell me every detail of what has happened to your kids since they were born?

Yes, I've been told that I'm easy to talk to but I'm not a licensed therapist.

You want my opinion on whether or not you're pregnant? Really? Do we HAVE to go there?

[sweetmama81]

To the small group of coworkers who manage to drive out many good nurses with their cattiness and bullying.....

I'm done with being PC about your lack of social skills and lack of sophistication

You really are peasants ... you have no class whatsoever.

Learn :

- how to be subtle

- how to respect differing opinions

- how to deal with information at a professional level

- basic manners eg how to interrupt when you must / how to introduce new people to others / how to say good morning and so on

- how to present a professional image.

And finally:

- Understand that negativity is really all about you. The rest of us don't believe that perpetual negativity is normal

- Understand your normalised cattiness is pathetic and speaks volumes about you. You really are a complete peasant if you think this is normal

AAAAMMMEEENNN!

[backatit2]

A call bell goes off and all of a sudden you are hearing impaired.

Thanks for helping me out last night. I had told you that I would be in the room of a patient with MRSA bathing her and changing the sheets. I had every piece of contact precautions gear on and looked like something out of a Hazmat nightmare. You had the time to come and tell me that Miss L's call light was ringing. Did you expect me to leave the patient because you are were too lazy to answer the light? You suck.

I told you three times that I can not pick up a shift tomorrow. Ask me once more time and I will throw this urine filled bedpan at you because I crazy like that.

AMEN!! i can hear call lights going off when I'm in an isolation room cleaning up a patient and it will go off FOREVER even when there are people sitting at the nurse's station chatting it up. I think half of the time they KNOW what the patient needs and it's something they aren't willing to do - so that's why they won't answer it and ask. I especially love it when I exit a room, go answer it, and what the patient wants is their nurse who has sat there for ten minutes ignoring the light. I get to say, "okay, i'll tell your nurse!" and hope they feel stupid.

[sweetmama81]

Trust me it can be done and be very clean. I had braids and would wash them every few weeks. IF I did it more frequently, my hair and scalp would be very dry. Not everyone's hair gets oily and dirty that it needs to be washed every day.

[backatit2]

FYI:Not everyone can wash their hair everyday, the scalp will be dried out. And depending on the type of hair it is braided with, you can wash it with the braids in.

i had an elderly nurse instructor say one time that our hair is a breeding ground for bacteria and we should wash our hair every day after working. i take a shower as soon as i get home and i wash my hair every day anyway, but i always scrub extra hard and remember her saying that. i don't know how true it is, but i trust and old lady over myself who isn't sure.

[remoteareanurse, LPN, RN]

Here's the two I most often have to bite my tongue on:

1. Are you familiar with the concept of karma? Because if I were you, I'd be really worried that when I get old and sick I'll end up with YOU for my nurse.

2. Being a professional means that no matter what else is going on in your life, when you walk onto this ward you pin a believable smile on your face and do NOT take out your mood on your patients or co-workers.

[I Run 4 Fun]

Seriously??? I can SMELL you coming before I SEE you and I know if you have been in a room five minutes after you left it.

Dude, yes, you.... enough with the cheap cologne!!! It makes me want to puke.

[Poi Dog]

GO play on the road...

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

You are not my boss. You don't even work in the same department as me. You are not BETTER than me, and you have no right to treat me the way you did. You may think your crap doesn't stink, but I have news for you- it does!

[yousoldtheworld]

To the nurse who thought a portacath was a catheter strapped to one's leg and that vitals that showed O2 levels in the 70s and a temp in the 80s wasn't "too much cause for concern": Where did you get your nursing license? Because when I go to nursing school, I plan to stay far, far away.

[punkydoodlesRN, BSN, RN]

Do you always firt with older, married nurses, or is it just with me??