Since the patient thread went so well, I thought I'd try this.
FYI: TPTB = "The Powers That Be"
1) To the doctor who writes the insane orders, such as: "Please perm patient's hair this shift for outing with family tomorrow.",
"And do YOU plan to come in with the Clairol and hair dryer yourself?"
2) To the doctor that refuses to write for sedation, anti-anxiety, etc. for the patient who is currently trying to hang themself on the bedrail, has their catheter tube stretched tighter than a drum, and has just ripped their IV out for the 5th time, and says, "Just watch her real close."
"Um, yeah, and what should I tell my OTHER six patients?"
3) To the supervisor that refuses to send more staff to a floor with 30 patients, 2 RNs, and 2 techs. She has said that she will "try to find someone, so just go ahead and take report...she'll see what she can do."
"No way. You either send me someone of the nursing persuasion NOW, or you will be down to ONE RN and 2 techs. I have not taken report, nor will I take report on 15 patients. If that is your final answer, you can jolly well come up here and take report yourself. I am going home and calling my agency to tell them why." (I DID say that. They had someone up there in less than 10 minutes. No one said boo to me about attitude.)
4) To the doctor who complains because we will not make a special sheet just for him and place it at the front of the chart, updated every day, with VS, FSBS, I&O, etc.
"See this little green tab? It says 'graphic'. That is where we keep those records. Can you turn pages? Can you read? You know, top to bottom, left to right?"
5) To the doc that complains at being woken up when on call.
"That's why you get the big bucks, honey"
I know y'all can come up with some good ones. Have fun!
To the family of the patient with stage IV metastatic cancer to every organ in their body, on the vent, with multiple drips rolling. When they want everything done because.....God is working a miracle. Pull the #@$# tube and let her go, God also said there is a time to be born and a time to DIE. (Sorry had a run of unreasonable families lately)
To the administrators in general who expect you to give 110% EVERY day and even more if we have some mucky-muck VIP visiting the floor
And the NM's who send out cheery notices about one or another piece of paperwork left undone the day after you each had an extra patient and THREE of yours were crumpimg at almost the same time:
Excuse me, WHAT planet did you say you were from???
To the family of the patient with stage IV metastatic cancer to every organ in their body, on the vent, with multiple drips rolling. When they want everything done because.....God is working a miracle. Pull the #@$# tube and let her go, God also said there is a time to be born and a time to DIE. (Sorry had a run of unreasonable families lately)
I just had to look there to see if we work together...
We had a family, pt profoundly brain damaged, on the vent, GCS 3 and not improving, no chance of improving either, making decerebrate movements. When he started doing that they were convinced he was trying to communicate with them.
I said to the doctor that if that was my son, I would get down on my knees and pray to God to take him, rather than let him linger on for months and years.
Manager: It's important to answer the phone in the first one or two rings for good internal and external customer service.
Me: Terrific. I will remember that and de-glove during a sterile procedure and go answer the phone. No doubt the patient, not to mention the surgeon, will be impressed with my commitment to customer service.
Manager: We need to cut down on overtime. Everyone needs to watch their hours.
Me. We are, believe me. Nobody wants to be late. By the way, it's great to see YOU get out on time or early every day. Thanks for the help.
Gee, what a coincidence that the day after we were given a very prestigious award in excellence, our staffing grid changed, our pay was cut, and suddenly "there is no money in the budget" for education.
to my manager, get a backbone! stop letting your bff get away with everything or ask her to transfer to a different department. How can I respect you as a manager when you play favorites and let her cause chaos by spreading rumors and try to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong?
"Can we rethink the choice for our computer "guru" for the department." again, manager's bff who doesn't know how to do anything on the computer and yet she tries to educate us about the computer software.
when she asks me are you okay and then tells me to take my break after my case is done. "no I really don't need that break. I'm only in a 4 hour case. I'll just leave and go to restroom whenever I want. No, do not send your bff in to my room. It will only cause chaos and upset the surgeon."
when my manager lies to me to my face, "can I document this conversation and follow up with a lie detector?"
Specializes in jack of all trades, master of none.
If you can't figure out why you can't keep staff, look in the mirror!!!
If your title is some form of "manager" then that's what you're supposed to do, manage, lead, or something along those lines. Stop letting everyone else make all your decisions for you. It would really help if you could recall where you left your, er, backbone.
Specializes in jack of all trades, master of none.
Leslie... "bite me" is one of my all time faves...It can be very effective when used with just the right tone...
One thing I'd really love to say to TPTB... maybe we have a problem with low morale b/c our charge has the least experience out of all of us & uses bullying tactics to try & distract us all from the lack of knowledge, coupled with the inability to say no to one of the biggest bullies in the nursing profession. And to top it off, you give this same nurse a position of team leader AND nurse preceptor, & this nurse has even less experience than the charge nurse!! I guess shaking your money makers for every doctor & boosting his ego, therefore, making the doctor a happy camper, it's all ok, right??
I agree and I work agency and last weekend was my last day working to the TPTB staff who I came there to help and be charge and helped do meds(which charge isn't supposed to have to do and remove staples from post knee and laminectomies pts, etc to help out in every way and to be treated like an AIDE and asked to feed and bath patients when you all won't do it yourself.
Then to treat me like I am stupid and say an RN doesn't have to be charge well your facility thinks so. I can honestly say also Bite me no wonder you have no staff when you treat someone who is sent to help you like crap when I hit the floor running each shift I take. I guess its because of the great pay I make yes I do but no benefits and not every day. WHEW I feel better.
Leslie... "bite me" is one of my all time faves...It can be very effective when used with just the right tone...
One thing I'd really love to say to TPTB... maybe we have a problem with low morale b/c our charge has the least experience out of all of us & uses bullying tactics to try & distract us all from the lack of knowledge, coupled with the inability to say no to one of the biggest bullies in the nursing profession. And to top it off, you give this same nurse a position of team leader AND nurse preceptor, & this nurse has even less experience than the charge nurse!! I guess shaking your money makers for every doctor & boosting his ego, therefore, making the doctor a happy camper, it's all ok, right??
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VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN
22 Articles; 9,996 Posts
And furthermore............
To patients'/residents' family members:
"No, your mother's ice water is NOT more important than her roommate's blood sugar check."
"What are you, broken? Go and get yourself a soda from the machine like everyone else!"
"As a matter of fact, I DO know who you are.........and I don't give a rat's rump."
"And where did YOU go to nursing school?"