Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
I realize you like to keep late hours, and that is your right, but I need to get my work done. My shift ends at 11. If you ask me at 10:45 to 'come back later' with your meds, after asking the same thing at 9:30 and 10:00, I might just document 'refused after 3 attempts'. And yes, I DO have to stand here and watch while you take them.
If you're in here for "COPD exacerbation", getting 1MG ATIVAN TID scheduled AND Xanax AND clonapin because you're "nervous" because you can't breathe, maybe you need to stop going outside to smoke a pack of cigs every day. I'll give you a nicotine patch, but I won't help you go kill yourself, so feel free to "report me to the doctor" for not taking you out to smoke at 3 in the morning -- and if you DO go out, I'm taking your patch off, I don't want to have to code you for no other reason than you wanted a buzz.
There is a darned good reason why you have no friends and everyone leaves you eventually: You are a toxic person with no social skills or sense of basic decency, you take your emotions out on anyone around you, it's never your fault, you never learn, and you interpret hep or suggestions as personal attacks. You take for granted that people are going to listen to you listening to yourself talk. You don't even try to have conversations, you just conquer the conversation and don't notice that people are trying to back away or ask you important questions. What you idealize as a friendship is what most people know as emotional monopoly, worship of you, and jealous possession. You worship and praise people you "like," and hate them when they don't concur with the aforementioned idealisms. Even the nurses you "like" request not to be assigned to you because they know it's only a matter of time before you hate them. The only reason why therapists stick around as long as they do is because they are required and paid to listen nonjudgmentally and respect your autonomy to harm yourself all you want, and you fire them soon anyway. You're not going to learn, and I really hope that you run out of nurses you'll allow to take care of you and decide to go to another hospital because as unfounded as they are, your complaints are taken seriously. I hope that your wolf-calling catches up to you someday.
Sir. SIR. Put the balls as well as the entire package back in. Yep -- tuck it all back in. I don't care to see it. Leaving it all out everytime I come into the room isn't going to endear you to me WHATSOEVER.
Yes, the entire package is all very large sized, but even THAT isn't going to do it for me. You are freaking 90 years old. It's time to STOP.
Mama's diabetic so she needs to eat RIGHT NOW? Maam, did you take your insulin this morning? You don't use insulin? Well, then did you take your oral agents today? You don't take any medications for your diabetes?
Maam, either you do not understand how diabetes works, or you take me for an idiot and think I will feed Mama if you tell me she's diabetic. Guess what? Mama's serum glucose was 187, and she does not take any insulin or oral agents, so no, her being diabetic does not automatically mean I will feed her.
"No I will not get you a washcloth! Use toilet paper! Then, pull up your pants, get back in your chair, and do not touch the call bell for another 10 minutes. Instead, take those 10 minutes to think really hard about what you really want/need. If it involves a transfer, then fine, hit the call bell... AGAIN. If it involves having someone fetch something for you, well, your husband is sitting right there. I don't have time for this sh*t. You are rehab and once you get home you won't have an entire overworked staff to wait on you hand and foot like you're in a hotel."
And of course this clueless woman was in the last room at the very end of the hall... Ringing to get out of the bathroom. Taking forever to wipe (I don't have to be there for that, she can wipe herself). Lets me stand there waiting, then as soon as I put on my gloves to empty the bucket, it's "can you get me a washcloth?" Acting surprised when I have to leave to go get one off the cart instead of producing it out of thin air. Finally walks back to the chair. 2 minutes later she wants to lay down. Before leaving I make sure everything is "all set." 2 minutes later she wants another sheet. 2 more minutes later she wants to take off her sweater. We have to make a big production out of that. She rings again; she wants to blanket off the end of her bed. It was like, never-ending. Meanwhile her able-bodied, sound of mind husband is just sitting there like a log in the corner.
AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN
2 Articles; 1,291 Posts
sirI, thank you and thank you AGAIN.