Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
I just found out I won the lottery. Therefore I will refuse any ridiculous requests and turn in my resignation tomorrow. Tell the doctor if you want, tell the news media, I am no longer the maid, cook, and semi-competent social worker/therapist here, just the nurse.
i had a bari- patient who wanted to sit in his wheel chair constantly because he wanted me to wheel him around....once we would leave the room, he would say "Any chance you could wheel me home?".......he lives 20 minutes from the hospital.
"No i will not push you home because you cant even walk out the door. If you could walk yourself home you wouldnt need to be here!"
then...same guy ok? (frequent flier miles he has) i work on cardiac so him being as big as he is....we seem quite often!
...again wants me to push him around....
he says: "Do you think you could push me to the upstairs unit? its too loud here"
need i remind you we are the cardiac floor so
1) he is a cardiac patient, no one will take him since is on telemetry and alot of cardiac drugs and needs to be where he is.
2) WE ARE ON THE TOP FLOOR!!!!!...
the guy asks me to push him upstairs. i was polite and told him we were on the 7th floor which is the top floor.
deep down i wanted to be like
"Yes i will take you to the top of this floor. I thought youd never ask. the roof has a GREAT view!"
One day i had a huge lady on my tele floor. She was complaining of the pain to her bottom, pressure sores. The doctor told her she developed them because the nurses weren't turning her enough. At the biggining of shift i saw my little pca lady, literally half the pt's size, turn her and place a pillow behind her. 2hrs later she called me saying the doctor had ordered we turn her every 2hrs, and we weren't turnng her enough. My pca again was about to turn her and I told my pca to stop. I told the pt
Me: You see the rail to side.
Pt: Yes.
Me: Grab it, and turn yourself.
The pt's mouth dropped open:eek:. She looked at me then my pca in disbelief. I told her again, go ahead grab it. She grabbed it, turned herself and I placed a pillow underneath her. She didn't call to be turned anymore.
Side note: Histories past has told me to assess what my pt's are capable of doing, becuase in cases such as this one, even though they can do it themselves they love it more when it's done by their nurse.
True story over several conversations with a patient:
Mr. B., you are aware that you are on an 1800 calorie diet?
--yes
Mr. B., please don't have your family bring any more food from home. You are on an 1800 calorie diet and will get 3 meals and 1 snack everyday. I promise that you will not starve and we will get your blood sugar under control.
--I'll eat whatever I want.
Later, after housekeeping commiserated about the crawling things in his room...
Mr. B., you know what I told you about not having someone from home bring you food?
--uh-huh
Well I think that bag of pork skins might have been bad. I killed two roaches and housekeeping killed three. Your family might have accidentally brought you a bad bag.
There have been times I want to say -Oh your cleaning this up!
and/or You are fully capapble of washing your own a$$, oh yeah let's not forget - If you dont like the hot rags to bathe with get out of bed and use the shower like you were told to do yesterday...
But I just smile and clean it up, wash them up and keep it moving!
If you won't take your meds, won't let me change your wound dressings, won't let me give you any IV antibiotics, and you won't stop swearing at me . . . why the **** did you come to the hospital!!:angryfire
Good thing my patients can't read my thoughts, cuz I think this fairly often!!
it's the middle of summer and if you don't get in that shower and use lots of soap, we'll just hose you off with some cold water and then scrub you clean with lots and lots of lava soap... :angryfire
Fuzzy
370 Posts
"Shut Up Aleady! You have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain.".
Fuzzy