Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
'No sir, I will not give you a kiss. Although I can't lie, it IS tempting. How did you know incontinent, toothless, old guys who sit with their hands down their pants are JUST my thing??! Someone, please, hold me back!'
'Yes, I am a smart girl, and no, I will not be going back to school to get a REAL degree. Thanks.'
You know...I figured out at a really early age you get more bees with honey than vinegar. So on my first visit to a hospital as an OB patient on bedrest and hemmoraging from placental abruption to treat the nurses with the utmost respect and kindness and that they are not my personal servant. Guess what I got? The next day when they both returned for their shift, I got 2 nurses arguing with their manager who would get to cover me for that day and I also got the best care any patient could ask for. So every time I now enter a hospital as a patient I realize their are so many sicker people than me that my nurse needs to tend to that I do every imaginable thing for myself before I bother him/her and the stay is more pleasant for everyone.
Moral of the story...every patient should be given a pamphlet on appropriate patient behavior on admission.
I am only a student now...but I am nervous about the behavior of the patients I will eventually care for.
OH yeah...forgot to add this. In the pamphlet...patients should be reminded that please and thank you should be directed toward their nurse at every opportunity.
We ALL get gas pains from time to time and you will need to deal with it like we all do. EVERYTHING cannot be fixed!
You got gas pains? FART! You'll feel better. Really.
Eat/Don't eat. Its up to you. What you see in front of you is all the kitchen has to offer. If you are calling your family to bring you in pizze/Mcdonald/Timmies/ whatever that is fine. Just bring enough for ME because my lunch isn't that great either! :)
"Go ahead, move back in with your irresponsible family that will end up killing you!" after my LTC res threatened to move make in w/ her daughter when I told her I couldn't give her 4x the laxitive that was ordered. She then threw her cup full of meds and a glass full of miralax at me. She spent 2 days with her fam over xmas and came back with a blood sugar of 506 (they never checked it a single time even though we sent a glucometer/insulin/syringes) and the dialysis clinic called and b#*$*ched me out about her not following diet restrictions (she steals funyuns and cheetos from other resident's rooms)
Spikey9001, BSN, RN
337 Posts
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