Things you'd like to say to....

Specialties Emergency

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uRNmyway, ASN, RN

1,080 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg.
"You do realize that you cannot skip your dialysis just because you didn't want to wake up before 11 am today. (But we will still save your sorry butt every time you come it with a K in the 6s or 7s.)"

Omg, this, This, A MILLION TIMES THIS!!

k-flo

48 Posts

To the young, walkie-talkie pt: No, I definitely will NOT arrange transportation for you, you can walk over to the bus stop or use the free phone in the waiting room to call a friend.

To the pt with anxiety: You walked the 10 mins it takes from the parking garage here and now you suddenly need a wheelchair?

It is NOT my fault you don't have insurance, nor is it the hospital's or anyone's fault. You will never be able to get out of the homeless shelter if you don't start taking some ownership.

You don't have any injuries or broken bones, I will not give you an excuse for a month off from work, you're lucky to get a week.

To the person who keeps asking me how much longer: If you would stop interrupting me maybe I can get your DC papers soon.

Trauma Columnist

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN

88 Articles; 21,247 Posts

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Please stay on topic. thanks.

Ruby Vee, BSN

17 Articles; 14,027 Posts

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Please stay on topic. thanks.

I'm sorry -- is this what you'd like to say to someone? Or are you moderating the thread?

psu_213, BSN, RN

3,878 Posts

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
I'm sorry -- is this what you'd like to say to someone? Or are you moderating the thread?

Nice! :roflmao:

(of course I'm afraid we might get points assigned for the little display)

Sassy5d

558 Posts

Yes, I will totally call your doctor at 2am to ask him, per your request, what that 'little round red and white oblong' pills are because only he knows.

I'm not sure which channel 'sports center' is, but lie down, kick back, I shall find it for you.

I'm sorry your fav show is on in 10 minutes, the channel is not included in our cable line up and you're here for unilateral numbness/weakness. We can't give you d/c papers, but you may sign out AMA.

Ah, I see you know so and so, work for so and so, donated for so and so, but your actions are interfering with patient care. You need to go back into the waiting area now or I can have security help you

k-flo

48 Posts

One last one:

For the love of God please just please stop acting like a huge va jay jay... You made a conscious decision to go bull riding like a "tough macho man" now take that shoulder dislocation like the man you pretend to be, I already gave you enough dilaudid for now.

Why is it that the guys with the most tattoos and the bigger muscles are the worst cry babies?? I'm not saying all but generally. I always just want to tell them to man the eff up!

Madras

270 Posts

Specializes in Primary Care, OR.
I cannot stop laughing! Please tell me there is not a child in this world named "Candida". Oh no!

Haha I went to high school with one. Lets just say she was............... Interesting.

Madras

270 Posts

Specializes in Primary Care, OR.

Well of course you were arrested for blowing a .16 while also having oxycodone in a ZIPLOCK baggy in your purse. This just reeks innocence to the police!

No I won't call in the five day supply for you because you don't want to come to your follow up appointment. In fact I won't even bother asking the doc because she will just roll her eyes and laugh...again.

Nope your husband is definitely not eating the oatmeal and tuna on whole wheat that you pack for him everyday, how do I know.... Well it's quite evident.

Your here for another round of STD testing?!? Lets talk.

No I can't tell your wife about your girlfriend that you bring to your appointments so stop asking me. I just can't wait for the day you both show up in the waiting room at the same time... Oops.

I've never seen you in actual clothes. Do you just wear those Betty Boop/Tinkerbell/Hello Kitty pajamas everywhere you go or are you an actual adult.

No you can't take your clothes off to get on the scale. I'm not judging you.

Madras

270 Posts

Specializes in Primary Care, OR.

The box of tissues is to your left, we knew you were coming today.

CoffeeGeekRN

271 Posts

Specializes in ED, ICU, lifetime Diabetes Education.
Why do we need this urine? --- Because you look and act like a druggie

You smell like stale urine mixed with pot and cheap beer. What kind of pig sty to you live in and do you have running water?

Those tattoos are the worst ever, what were ya'll on when you let your in-bred cousin do that crappy non-artwork?

Do you shave all your body hair every day, or every other day? Is that why you're too busy to get a job? Or is it that your video game and pot smoking career take up too much time?

I think we work at the same place with the same pts.

Specializes in ED.

I'm sorry your 16 year old daughter's room does not have a TV. It's so refreshing to see that as a parent, you are worried about the things that REALLY count.

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