Okay, I know there are a lot of threads out there with variations of the theme of "things I'd like to say to..." but honestly, they are always fun to read and, as I am sipping the second part of my "glass and a half of wine" after my terrible shift, here goes:
Stop pretending like you don't know how to pronounce Dilaudid. You can say it better than I can.
No, I don't believe you that you were beaten by the police. I think you are a huge brat who needs a spanking, there is not a dang thing wrong with you, and the sooner you go to jail, the better off we will all be...
I understand you are a hard stick and that "a surgeon" has to come and stick you when you come in. I do this many times a day. Please don't be mad at me when I get you on the first try.
Did I really hear you just tell a newer nurse (or nursing student) that floor nurses "don't do anything." Just .... shut up. If you can have the basic respect for your fellow nurses and other allied health staff, you shouldn't be around anyone who might actually take what you say seriously.
Thank you to my wonderful co-workers. You make me laugh, you pull me out of the deep end of the pool on a regular basis and I am so lucky to have you.
And finally, it's okay, ma'am. It's time for your (uncle, father, cousin) to have a higher level of care. It doesn't mean that you have failed. I've had him as a patient for 5 minutes and I want to tear my hair out; I can't imagine what it is like for you to deal with this 24 hours per day with no help. If you need to cry on my shoulder out of guilt in the hall, you can do that. But really, it's okay - you've done an amazing job but it's time.
