Things you'd like to say to....

Specialties Emergency

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psu_213, BSN, RN

3,878 Posts

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
Aw, that's cool that your dialysis appt is in 1 hour, but you could not wait. Please, allow me to request your admission so we can dialyze you from the comforts of our facility

LOL, don't even get my started on adults who seem to have no concern that they have to make some effort to be there for this life preserving treatment. Sorry, don't want to derail this thread...

So, here's another one:

"Triage is not the place to present to the nurse a resume that you would like me to give to my manager. Do you have a medical problem?" (Ok, so I actually said the second part of this, and his answer was "no.")

BlueLightRN

150 Posts

I cannot stop laughing! Please tell me there is not a child in this world named "Candida". Oh no!

Unfortunately, many lol.

Emergent, RN

4,240 Posts

Specializes in ER.

Why do we need this urine? --- Because you look and act like a druggie

You smell like stale urine mixed with pot and cheap beer. What kind of pig sty to you live in and do you have running water?

Those tattoos are the worst ever, what were ya'll on when you let your in-bred cousin do that crappy non-artwork?

Do you shave all your body hair every day, or every other day? Is that why you're too busy to get a job? Or is it that your video game and pot smoking career take up too much time?

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

"Yes I know you're young and gorgeous and are going to "rock the ER" with your bright, shiny new RN license in hand. But believe me, we don't hate you because you're beautiful. We hate you because you're a dangerous know-it-all with diva issues."

This!!!!!

Sassy5d

558 Posts

I'm sorry that you've had to wait 10 minutes for a provider to enter your room to hear all about your life threatening std, yes, I guess there is a lethal gonorrohea, I understand you have a date in 29 minutes and don't have time to wait for a triage, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. Here's the ombudsman's number, a boxed lunch, my credentials and a bus pass home. Thanks for stopping!

Specializes in Emergency.

"We're not laughing WITH you."

SionainnRN

914 Posts

Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.

Refusing to let me do your assessment isn't going to make you any friends, I'm just trying to do my job.

When you run out of norco drinking alcohol for your pancreatitis isn't going to help the pain.

Just because ONE of our MANY bathrooms is occupied, it is not okay for pts family members to pop a squat in the middle of the hall to pee!

Yes I'm sure you were "just minding your own business" when you got jumped.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

Sassy5d

558 Posts

That's so totally cool that you're a nurse like me, your 84 y/o type 1 mother is here, for retractible vomiting and is unable to keep any food down. Of course I checked her sugar in front of you and it was 250. I understand your concerns but when you give someone insulin, it actually lowers their blood glucose levels. Thanks for once again saying you're a nurse, and that it is so very important that I give your mom insulin to cover that reading, so, as you say, 'she doesn't bottom out'.. I'll go grab the d50.

Sassy5d

558 Posts

I can't beat that candy crush level either when my pain is 20/10

Specializes in Emergency Department; Neonatal ICU.

These responses are cracking me up!

Here's one from today:

If you are "new" to the facility and as such, are not familiar with your resident's baseline mental status, how did you know that your resident was altered and needed emergency treatment? At any rate, I'm glad you sent her to me. I'll cut off her hospital bracelet from an admission several days ago and I'll change her gown stained with fluid from her weeping edema ... Grrr.

Specializes in Emergency Department; Neonatal ICU.
"You do realize that you cannot skip your dialysis just because you didn't want to wake up before 11 am today. (But we will still save your sorry butt every time you come it with a K in the 6s or 7s.)"

Oh it never fails - I think I'm getting a relatively easy EMS (chief complaint is fall) and it turns out they fell because they have altered mental status after skipping dialysis and their pressure is 50/30!

DalekRN

194 Posts

This is such an amazing thread. I needed this. Gotta add my postpartum two cents.

Did you think when you had your baby it would just sleep when you wanted it to and act cute and never cry and not be an inconvenience?

Did you think you could be up all night delivering a baby, then awake all day with your visitors, then have your baby not need you the next night so you could sleep 8 hours?

You didn't want me to wake you for pain meds... Don't yell at me when you're in pain.

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