The Nurse on the Other Side

[sheilagood52]

Me...the Patient

You thought I didn't notice the fake, tight smile you gave me, but I did. I heard the edge of irritation in your voice and saw the roll of your eyes as you turned away. And, for future reference, your mouth does funny things when you're biting your tongue.

I didn't hear the things you said to your co-workers as soon as you cleared the room, but I heard them in my mind as if standing next to you.

"God, the patient in 505 is intolerable." The others teetered as you described me.

"Bet she's a nurse; is she?"

I imagine you couldn't pull my patient record and demographics up fast enough in search of my occupation. You groan echoed loudly, "She's an MSN."

The others laughed at your misfortune and walked away.

You wrote your name on the whiteboard in my room with a flourish and told me to call if I needed anything. But, you didn't mean it. I saw the hurried and dismissive way you wrote resenting the nuisance board.

You checked the orders for the day, scanned the most recent labs for obvious outliers, made a note of the meds to dole out, and moved on. You didn't delve into my history, or the reason I ended up in the emergency room; you didn't have time. Yet, discovering I was a nurse, made you cringe.

Am I Your Worst Nightmare?

I'm your worst nightmare or so you say; right next to the physician-patient, you had last week. I'm your patient and I hold a master's degree in nursing. I know things, lots of things about medicine, the role and responsibility of nurses, and more about the disease ravaging my body than most physicians. Knowledge is a powerful thing, and, yes, sometimes too much is a dangerous thing. Physicians see me occasionally and this is my first encounter with you, but I live with the complications of my illness every day. If I had to choose, I'd take more knowledge over less any day.

But, why does finding out I'm a nurse, bring out the worst in you? Why the snippy attitude or rolling eyes? Why should I hide the fact I'm a nurse? We're supposed to be kindred spirits.

I'm not here to grade your performance or make you feel, whatever you're feeling. I'm here to get well. A little compassion from one nurse to another will go a long way in making that happen.

I no longer practice nursing, not in an official capacity, but I remember what inspired me. I wanted to be like Florence Nightingale, help the sick, cure cancer, or the next big disease threatening to wipe out humanity. I had big plans. I'd advocate for my patients, unique in their illness and they would remember me with fondness. Although my career was cut short, I still maintain my license and keep up with medical practices. Nursing is a way of life for me. It's who I am.

The Healthcare System

The whole health care system is unrecognizable to me these days. Nurses are still overworked and underpaid. Electronic charting and medical records have nurses spending more time in front of the computer than at the bedside, and patient care has become check-offs on a computer screen.

Remember the lab values I asked about?

"They were normal," you said. Did you bother to review the pattern of my previous labs? No, you evaded my questions and became annoyed. If you had, you would've realized they weren't normal, not for me. One size does not fit all.

To you, I'm the pain in the *** nurse-patient in room 505, but this is my life, my body, and my pain. I should have a say; I've earned it.

One day you will be me, the nurse on the other side, receiving instead of giving care. Tired, sick, and afraid, the truth of who you are will slip out as your own knowledge compels you to ask questions and push for answers. Clinging to the last bit of control you have, you'll pay attention to the care you receive as never before. Once a nurse, you're always a nurse.

That time will come faster than you can imagine. When it does, you'll want a compassionate nurse. One, who listens, answers questions, takes your concerns seriously, and treats you with the respect every nurse deserves no matter her age or circumstances, not one who rolls her eyes in impatient mockery.

[Ruas61, BSN, RN]

Yep, sometimes nurses knowing you are a nurse buys you a pack of trouble. I have seen it personally this year.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Whenever I have had to go to the hospital I didn't divulge my status as a nurse. No need, really, and I see how they treat "everyone" this way. I don't feel the need to tell them and don't expect any special treatment, just the same good care EVERYONE is entitled to. Personally, I don't give a hoot you are a nurse. You will get the same I would give anyone, no matter what they do. That, to me, is good care.

I, too, feel there was most certainly literary license taken in the OP. I am sorry you feel you were treated poorly, but I think you read an awful lot into what went on while you were there.

[canigraduate]

I had two nurses as patients on my last shift. One was disabled, the other was retired.

They were both delightful.

They both hugged me before the end of shift. They both talked about how they always got good care at this hospital, which they had both worked for.

Here's some anecdotal evidence that nurses DO get treated well in the hospital.

[sailornurse]

I don't see mention of working as a floor nurse on med-surg units. Were you not on medical/surgical floor where you had the experience you wrote about? I am questioning this since I don't think you can even begin to understanding the time management skills required for med surg nurses.

As to being an administrator/professor/ etc, Really, I was taught that humility is a virtue.

All I see is experiences in administrator roles that you list. None listed as bedside except L &D, which is not similar to med/surg. I worked in L&D as an LPN before earning my ADN/RN then spent over 20 years on med-surg units while earning my BSN.

And no you were not functioning" in the role of a nurse practitioner" since you are not a nurse practitioner. What makes you think/say that you were? Do you have the education of a nurse practitioner?

The first 2-3 sentences of your "story" are unbelievably,I can't even think of the words right now as I went back to re-read. I stopped here:

"heard them in my mind as if standing next to you."

[SmilingBluEyes]

I re-read your post and got a distinct sense of superiority and arrogance from your tone and words. I imagine if any of that came across to your nursing staff caring for you, it could have tainted their attitudes about you. Or, it could be you're not really the "kindred spirit" to the staff nurse you say you ought to be. I feel no kinship reading your original post, at all.

[sheilagood52, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN]

Our inpatient dialysis unit was located right in the middle of a med-surg unit. And early in my career, I spent more than a year on med-surgery. Sorry, I left that out, but I'm well aware of the time management, clinical and management skills required of med-surg nurses. My hat is off to each one.

You are correct, I am not a nurse practitioner. However, at the time, nurse practitioners were not a routine career path. In fact, the only Universities offering a NP program were out of state and they were few and far between. At the time, however, physicians had the authority to delegate medical care to trained assistants and nurses. Under the supervision of the Physician Director of the OB-GYN, I was hired to work with and manage the care of adolescent pregnant girls, under the age of 16. Side by side the medical residents, I saw patients in the OB clinic (always under the supervision of the director.) So, no I was not technically a NP, but at the time, I functioned much like a NP. I did not have prescriptive authority, but I was able to order tests and labs. Check out the evolution and history of the NP.

I shared my experience for one and only one reason: some in this thread questioned whether I had "any skills or experience." I wanted to clarify I did. If that makes me sound less than humble- so be it.

I am still shocked at the venom with which some have responded to this article, without a shred of evidence. I do write, and no doubt my literary voice came through, but my experience was real.

I had a long and rewarding career as a nurse and wish with all my heart, my health had not taken me out of the game so early. I know how hardworking and compassionate nurses are, but make no mistake, I've also een the stressed out, snippy, and down right bullying behavior of some. Don't think so? Read the entirety of this thread.

As I've tried to make clear, the article was meant to enlighten and start a dialogue and encourage change.

I appreciate everyone who has been a part of the conversation. I don't know that there is anything else I can share.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

girlvet said:

You have no idea what is going on in the emergency department you are in. I work as an ER nurse and I am sorry but someone with chronic pain is not a priority. Priorities are chest pain, CVAs, cardiac arrests, trauma. Chronic pain should be handled by your own doctor or a pain clinic, not an ER.

I'd hope your priorities would be your ABCs, airway, breathing and circulation.

If you dismiss a person because they have a history of chronic pain and shouldnt be in 'your ED" you run the risk of missing something fairly major.

Most people with chronic pain, dont present to an ED unless its something fairly major outside of the scope of normal

[NanikRN]

Tenebrae said:

I'd hope your priorities would be your ABCs, airway, breathing and circulation.

If you dismiss a person because they have a history of chronic pain and shouldnt be in 'your ED" you run the risk of missing something fairly major.

Most people with chronic pain, dont present to an ED unless its something fairly major outside of the scope of normal

Chest pain--circulation

Cardiac arrest- airway Circulation

Chronic pain-- chronic condition that does indeed require attention but not emergent as others

Yep-- I think pp had priorities exactly right. Most chronic pain patients don't find solutions in ERs-- perhaps short term relief but answers are found ( hopefully!) in testing and meds on unit or with specialized drs. So in that sense, ER is not the best place for chronic pain patients to find answers

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

sheilagood52 said:

Our inpatient dialysis unit was located right in the middle of a med-surg unit. And early in my career, I spent more than a year on med-surgery. Sorry, I left that out, but I'm well aware of the time management, clinical and management skills required of med-surg nurses. My hat is off to each one.

You are correct, I am not a nurse practitioner. However, at the time, nurse practitioners were not a routine career path. In fact, the only Universities offering a NP program were out of state and they were few and far between. At the time, however, physicians had the authority to delegate medical care to trained assistants and nurses. Under the supervision of the Physician Director of the OB-GYN, I was hired to work with and manage the care of adolescent pregnant girls, under the age of 16. Side by side the medical residents, I saw patients in the OB clinic (always under the supervision of the director.) So, no I was not technically a NP, but at the time, I functioned much like a NP. I did not have prescriptive authority, but I was able to order tests and labs. Check out the evolution and history of the NP.

I shared my experience for one and only one reason: some in this thread questioned whether I had "any skills or experience." I wanted to clarify I did. If that makes me sound less than humble- so be it.

I am still shocked at the venom with which some have responded to this article, without a shred of evidence. I do write, and no doubt my literary voice came through, but my experience was real.

I had a long and rewarding career as a nurse and wish with all my heart, my health had not taken me out of the game so early. I know how hardworking and compassionate nurses are, but make no mistake, I've also een the stressed out, snippy, and down right bullying behavior of some. Don't think so? Read the entirety of this thread.

As I've tried to make clear, the article was meant to enlighten and start a dialogue and encourage change.

I appreciate everyone who has been a part of the conversation. I don't know that there is anything else I can share.

Nope. Still going on and on about your superior skills and education and you don't seem to understand that a year on MedSurg doesn't give you exemplary time managment skills or clinical and management skills required of Med-Surg nurses. It generally takes two years to become competent. And once you leave the bedside, that competence starts to erode.

If you really wanted this article to enlighten and start a dialogue, your writing would have made that clear from the first post; you wouldn't have to go on and state what should have been obvious from the start over and over.

[sheilagood52, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN]

I'm sorry I am not getting your hostility. 1- I have not being going on and on about my "superiority skills and education." Completely false. I felt it appropriate to answer those accusing me of having none. I don't consider my education or experience superior to anyone. Each nurse has their own expertise, skill set, and experience.

2- As for the 1-1/2 year of med-surg experience, that keeps being mentioned, the rest of my experience is selectively being ignored.

3- although I choose a different speciality in nursing than some, I believe I have a very good handle on what a unit and its nurses need.

4- The article was written for the purpose I intended, to discuss the way nurse patients are treated. Most articles do not have spell out anything. Articles provide information and stimulate conversation. This was an article written about a personal experience I have encountered. The article was clear and needed no further explanation.

5- I'm tired of having to repeat myself. I've tried to be polite and address anyone's concerns. Instead, I am repeatedly being called a liar, lacking experience, having embellished or made the article up.

6- I'm done. Whether you are any of the other naysayers believe me or not, is insignificant to me. None of you were I my room.

7. You and others, who have disagreed with my article have proved my point more than anything I could have written or said. I, a nurse, shared my experience, but other nurses, rather than showing compassion and an eagerness to discuss the real issue, attacked me, my integrity, clinical skills, and experience. I have been shocked at the venomous and hostile comments, not just about the article, but me personally. But, as I said, those who did so, proved my point. Here was a nurse, a patient, and the nurses who were supposed to care, attacked.

It is not my practice to respond to such hostile responses, but when the attacks became personal, questioning my integrity and honesty, not to mention my education and skills, I believed I needed to respond. I worked as hard as any of you achieving my nursing education, and even harder as my career progressed. This article was to enlighten, not to put down. It was my experience, but next time it may be yours.

I learned a long time ago, there is a time to say, "enough." And, I am saying enough. I will no longer engage in responses filled with accusations or hostility, but thank you to all who understood my article and its intent.

[SmilingBluEyes]

No I was not in your room, but I have been a patient in a hospital and had care, good to horrible. But I kept my status as a nurse to myself and got to see what really went on. I kept off my call-light as much as possible and got up out of bed and ambulated as soon as possible to deal with the pain the meds were not touching. But I never felt there should be a "kinship" that would have demanded better care for me than my roommate or the patient down the hall.

I ONLY know what you say here. And I still feel it was more literary than factual. I have had "difficult" patients but have worked hard to keep my true feelings to myself. I know people in pain are not easy to deal with. I also know some people feel they are entitled for one reason or another. They still get the best I can give but yea, inside I AM annoyed by arrogance and senses of entitlement. I am human not just a nurse.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

sheilagood52 said:

I'm sorry I am not getting your hostility. ..... Each nurse has their own expertise, skill set, and experience.

True. And clearly, your skill set does not include a high degree of insight into human behavior. The reponse you have received here was predictable. You should have seen it coming a mile away.

Or perhaps you're more astute in this area than appears, and you knowingly started a poop tornado.

Either way, I've got no sympathy. I found the tone of your article to be mean spirited, condescending, and entitled.