The Mockery of Nursing

Published

Just a bit ago the top three threads involved:

1.I have a DWI. Can I be a nurse?

2.I am stupid. Can I be a nurse?

3.If it takes me five times to pass NCLEX, Can I be nurse.

Not much left to add. Says it all.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

So I was out at a restaurant last night and these two girls walked in wearing...... scrubs! They didn't get within 10 feet of me, so how many germs do you think I caught from their fomitey scrubs? Only 25% of what they came in with? 50%? I really really need to know so I can run off to the ER to get checked out, even though I feel perfectly fine. Advice me please!

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Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.

Make sure you ask for some Lortabs and a shot of morphine in the ER!

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Specializes in Peds Homecare.

The new curse for over 50 is a facination with poo. Oh where will it end, the curse of getting old:rotfl: I've never bought a laxitive in my life................and if I do.............I won't tell anyone at work. " Talk among yourselves":w00t:

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Never mind poop. It's those over 50 weak bladders! The depends pads are going missing and I'm sure the old nurses are using them so they don't have to pee during their shifts.

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I forgot to mention that I'm 65. Am I too old? The great-grandchildren are in kindegarten and the granddaughter is out of jail now so I figure its a good time to go to nursing school before that other hip gives out.

Just make sure you wear your hipsters, in case you fall.

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I'm sorry. *Hang my head down* I won't do it again.

You are just so mean.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
Serious posts are expressly forbidden on this thread.

Seriously???!!! seriously?! You are offending my first amendment rights. I can say anything I want anywhere anytime anyhow{{TOS}} what? what? toss what? whazzat?

Or was it my third amendment? all those soldiers in my house.....

Gee, all I ever hear is those darn Miranda rights, over and over, .....

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*sigh*

Dear Nursing Student with the Rough Life,

You are correct.

You are in no way responsible for completing your homework with any sort of effort what-so-ever.

You are a completely unique and special individual.

Requirements... are for everyone else... certainly not you.

I, too, will attempt to draw sympathy to my post (to entice people to "help me out") by dropping descriptors of myself that, actually, have absolutely no bearing on my plea.

Let's see...

"Hlp Plzzzz!!! One-eyed balding martyr with 10 kids and a sprained toe needs answers...

So I don't have to do any work.

I have everyone else running for me and I never learned how to communicate on a phone beyond texting.

I don't need to know how to do a live interview."

*(Oooooh! The irony irony irony!!!)*

"Just give me the answers I need..."

And when told to put some effort into it, I'll say...

"I'll just have to rely on myself!!"

...And again, the irony will be lost on me...

*sigh*

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Seriously???!!! seriously?! You are offending my first amendment rights. I can say anything I want anywhere anytime anyhow{{TOS}} what? what? toss what? whazzat?

Or was it my third amendment? all those soldiers in my house.....

Gee, all I ever hear is those darn Miranda rights, over and over, .....

I think your brain is muddled with all the likker. It's your first commandment. Not amendment. Silly.

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www. learnbrainsurgery. net :lol2:

I have always wanted to be a Brain Surgeon because I want to be the first doctor that does the world's first BRAIN TRANSPLANT....but I really don't want to go to medical school.

Does anyone know any on-line courses I can take????????

It's my DDDDDRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!

Any advises would be helpful.

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You all are hilarious!

-I'm drinking wine and reading this thread. Will I lose my license? Am I the only one?

-I have no previous degree or experience in nursing. Can I get my FNP totally online without having to do clinicals?? Pleeeeeease help!!!!

- I'm getting married in July and will be starting nursing school in August. Should I get pregnant?

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I had one sent to my email for about 2 weeks. The title of the thread was "I past the NCLEX."

She past it, y'all. For real.

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