The Mockery of Nursing

[Old.Timer]

Just a bit ago the top three threads involved:

1.I have a DWI. Can I be a nurse?

2.I am stupid. Can I be a nurse?

3.If it takes me five times to pass NCLEX, Can I be nurse.

Not much left to add. Says it all.

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

i'll need the shorter pants because the long ones always drag through the liquids on the floor.

no, you don't. that's the whole point of fomite brand scrubs. duh.

i want extra baggy scrubs in all the colors of a urine dipstick. collect them all! a ketone positive purple top will go exquisitely with proteinuria peppermint green pants.

[teeniebert, LPN]

Oo, I want a full set (top, pants, jacket, cap) of Fomite Factory scrubs in Pyridium.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

After some reflection, I've decided on Fomite Factory pants in Cardiomyopathy Gray, and I'll get a scrub top in "UA Stripes" and a T-shirt that reads, "It's OK, Boo Boo."

[mofomeat]

rofl....I LOVE the color names! No "cool aqua" or "sunrise pink" for us....we want Code Brown Brown!

I hear a business venture calling my name...the designs are easy, but if only I could sew!

You don't need to sew! Just pawn that **** off on 3rd world sweatshop kids, like all good Americans!

I do seriously think you've got a viable business idea. Maybe not one to build the empire with, but certainly some side cash and a lot of fun. Or maybe so. There are never enough products to appeal with those with a morbid sense of humor, anyways.

Think of the special Holiday Editions (each limited in number, and different every year). Or the 'camo' ones for ex-military medics. You know, splotches of each color as if they were hung up in a biolab during a tornado.

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

I don't like talking to patients, I hate poop, and I don't want to work every other weekend. Do you think I'd make a good OR nurse? Everyone knows that they don't practice REAL nursing and that its all a cake walk.What's that you say? There IS poop in the OR? You mean it's not all about charting and fetching and carrying? I have to take CALL!!!??? Nevermind, OR people are mean anyway. I was observing in the OR and all I wanted to do was touch the shiny things on that back table. Everyone got their panties in a bunch because of something called "sterility" ..they made me look bad in front of that cute surgeon..now he'll never ask me out..

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

There could be a chemo resistant brand of fomite wear, in methatrexate yellow, adriamycin blood orange, and mitoxantrone blue. Though we may have to stop giving chemo for leukemia altogether given the shortage of many chemos.

[exnavygirl-RN]

..and extra large pockets to hold my very own foley bag..ya know..for those shifts that are so busy you don't have time to stop and pee.

How about a nice shade of ESLD concentrated urine brown or S/P TURP cranberry red?

[Chrissy Lou]

I am so glad to see that not everyone in the medical world has lost their minds-I 've been drowning in whiners.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I'm very excited about my fomite scrubs in RSV beige with a contrasting neckline of perioral cyanosis blue.

Now that I think about, isn't there a line of scrubs that the prints are bacteria and viruses? Not one you'd get at allheart or lydia's or tafford. Has it's own website...

[mama_d, BSN, RN]

Apparently pathophizz.com has some...my stupid phone can't do Flash though so I can't see them. And my 13 year old is hogging the computer playing WoW, so I can't look there either. Even though he knows I like to chill after work running around killing stuff online myself. Spoiled brat.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

pathophizz! That's exactly what I was thinking of!!

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

true story... recently a young lady came up to me at the hosp. cafeteria and asked me the following...

young lady: i was told that you are a nurse, can i ask you a question?

me: sure...

young lady: i'm considering nursing, but i wanna know will they accept me wearing my "hair extensions" i feel naked without them.

me: