Hi all, I am wondering if anyone has taken a break from this site and come back to it, and if so why? How long did you stay away, and did you come back "refreshed?" I've been on much more than usual during shelter in place. I previously logged on a few times a month, to ask a question, see what's new, and answer questions. I've always appreciated the answers and feedback I've gotten, and as I gained more experience I enjoyed answering questions from new grads and hoping I helped.
Lately I've found the site triggering, especially the recent thread after the Derek Chauvin verdict (thread now closed). It hurts me that there are nurses who believe racism is over or "black people are racist for having their own, exclusively black organizations." I tried to explain these organizations were created because black people were excluded from all organizations, and to promote civil rights. It scares me there are nurses who think like this, and I wonder how they treat their black pts. There are statistics about black people receiving worse care, less pain meds, etc.
I saw this when a pt was having chest pain but nothing showed on the ekg so resident labeled her drug seeking, didn't call cardiologist. Turns out she was having ischemia to the back wall of her heart which doesn't show on ekg. She died. Cardiologist was livid. I knew her for 4 years and it hit me hard. Also, there have been posts about people in mental health crises. I give my advice based on my experience w/ bipolar, but they come back and make the same posts and it scares me. Maybe I'm too sensitive and need to realize I don't even know these people, but I feel I need to take a break for my own mental health, as it exacerbates my bipolar and makes me more scared about my black in-laws and friends. There have been more killings of black people arrested for traffic stops, air freshener in their window, etc. I don't understand how people can't notice the pattern of black people being pulled over for nothing, then ending up dead, or someone like Breonna Taylor shot while sleeping, completely innocent of any crime. It makes me cry to read that people don't care and think it's "overrepresented in the media." There is hard data showing it's not. Any advice? It seems hard to avoid threads w/ triggering topics, because threads start about one thing and take sharp turns to end up talking about other topics. thanks. ❤️
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, JBMmom said:
I would disagree to an extent because I think that almost everyone that comes to this site hopes they have something to offer as well as something to gain.
In response to your disagreement with my premise, JBMmom, "EVERYBODY comes here for selfish reasons and there is not one altruist among us": Believing that we "have something to offer" and sharing that knowledge is a self-centered endeavor.
Everyone wants to feel as though they have power over their environment and knowledge is power. We possess knowledge, for example, therefore power, and we share that knowledge with someone who has less than us.
We feel good about ourselves, that we could "help' them gain knowledge and power, which is self-centered.
I'm not saying that this is a "bad" thing; it is what it is- and that is we are not active an this site because we are altruistic.
Now, the other portion of your disagreement, "everyone comes to this website... as something to gain", is totally self-centered. Again, we gain knowledge in order to gain power.
I reiterate: We want to feel as though we have power over our environment.
Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
I think we offer advice with the true intent to help others, but it also feels good to try to help and feel knowledgable, so maybe it's selfish and altruistic at the same time? hmmm LOL
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, LibraNurse27 said:
I think we offer advice with the true intent to help others, but it also feels good to try to help and feel knowledgeable, so maybe it's selfish and altruistic at the same time? hmmm
YES!, LibraNurse!
We relatively mentally and emotionally healthy individuals WANT to help others because it's the way in which we WANT to be treated.
The Golden Rule.
We feel good when we assist others in their endeavors as we do when others assist us in ours.
Generally speaking, those with certain personality disorders believe they deserve energy, attention and resources without obligation, since THEY are the center of the universe; it is owed to them.
I’ve been a member here since 2001. My original account was deleted because I had been targeted at my former place of employment for something that I had posted here. Not HIPAA related but still targeted.
there were a bunch of us that branched off on our own and started our own message board. I am still friends with all those nurses today! We’ve been little Internet friends since 2001 and now have our own private FB group.
I used to chat with Brian Short in the chat room back in the day and had even met him and NurseKaren at NTI in 2008.
I always view AllNurses as a light, fun way to spend some time. There have been times when I felt less-than-edified by it-- usually when I make a post and then I feel I've been misunderstood by some of the responders. When that happens, I log out (so that if I absentmindedly navigate back to the site, it will just be the homepage, rather than my personal page) and spend a few days or weeks away. Once I've forgotten what the dialogue was about, I am refreshed and ready to log on again.
If it feels like an emotional burden for you to be here, the site isn't serving its purpose for you and you need time away.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
It's always best to take a break if you feel at all annoyed. I took over a year. Came back refreshed and calmer. If things are triggering you a lot, it's not worth the aggravation. Take that break.
Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
4 hours ago, SmilingBluEyes said:
It's always best to take a break if you feel at all annoyed. I took over a year. Came back refreshed and calmer. If things are triggering you a lot, it's not worth the aggravation. Take that break.
Thanks! I just stopped looking at threads about politics and posts by those who seem to have psych issues but don't want to receive treatment. I still really enjoy the other threads, and appreciate the advice above that time is better spent standing up for causes we believe in in real life by volunteering, donating, protesting, etc, not arguing with others who we don't know in person and will not change their minds due to our posts! ? This is a cool discussion about people's motivations and whether any action can truly be selfless if the person feels good about themself for doing good. Getting all philosophical here on AN LOL
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I’ve been here at AN for almost two decades. The only times I’ve taken breaks were when I got too involved in contentious discussions and overheated. This was back when I was wrestling with an as-yet-undiagnosed mental illness, and I even drew warning points for one particularly nasty post in which I invited a fellow member to perform a cranio-rectal inversion. This was conduct unbecoming of a Guide and I got an earful from the admins. But in a way it was the best thing that could have happened, because it made me realize I needed help badly, and I got it.
Now I mostly avoid political posts because they are somewhat triggering, and I’ve learned to just scroll past threads I find annoying. I don’t post as much anymore because I’ve been out of nursing for over seven years, and the way things change so quickly my knowledge base has become obsolete. But I spend a lot of time learning about what nursing is like now, and enjoying the articles and case studies. ?
Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.
On 4/24/2021 at 7:18 PM, LibraNurse27 said:
Maybe I'm too sensitive and need to realize I don't even know these people,
I think this is key.
I've used AN on and off since 2004. I don't take the internet too seriously. There are posters I like but they're not my friends since I don't actually know them. I did actually meet a really nice American guy twice who no longer posts on here on his trips over to Paris, and that was a positive real life experience stemming from this site, but on the whole AN is virtual and I view it that way.
Debates on political or social issues often get nasty in real life, so they're going to on the internet, especially when the anonymity will push some people to say things they wouldn't say to your face. The moderating's good on here and there aren't the cat fights you can see on political debate forums for example. I just put forward my point as forcefully and respectfully as I can. If such posts upset you avoid them, however I would say that in countering somebody's assumptions for example about race as you outline in your OP, you have done some good in putting forward the anti-racist point of view. As a gay man homophobic posts may upset me, but I see it as almost a duty to correct the misassumptions that homophobes may have about people like me. The world can be nasty sometimes, unfortunately, so that's bound to spill over into places like this where we're free to discuss whatever.
I would also say this: in places like China and Putin's Russia people would kill for an open space in which to express views freely without being surveyed and censored by the State. Let's value that freedom of speech even if it can sometimes be uncomfortable. As Voltaire said, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
If you do take a break, come back soon. I enjoy your posts.
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
In response to your disagreement with my premise, JBMmom, "EVERYBODY comes here for selfish reasons and there is not one altruist among us": Believing that we "have something to offer" and sharing that knowledge is a self-centered endeavor.
Everyone wants to feel as though they have power over their environment and knowledge is power. We possess knowledge, for example, therefore power, and we share that knowledge with someone who has less than us.
We feel good about ourselves, that we could "help' them gain knowledge and power, which is self-centered.
I'm not saying that this is a "bad" thing; it is what it is- and that is we are not active an this site because we are altruistic.
Now, the other portion of your disagreement, "everyone comes to this website... as something to gain", is totally self-centered. Again, we gain knowledge in order to gain power.
I reiterate: We want to feel as though we have power over our environment.