switch from medical school to nursing?

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This may be an unusual topic for discussion. I would appreciate some thoughtful and kindhearted opinions. Perhaps discussing my situation in an open (albeit anonymous) forum may help me think more clearly regarding my situation. I would appreciate all sincere and thoughtful replies.

I'm finishing my second year of medical school in Philadelphia and I'm nearly ready to begin my hospital rotations. I have been able to work PT as a chiropractor (former career) during medical school. My wife is a Filipina and although I have asked her to work, she is not willing to do so b/c she claims, in her culture, the men support the household financially. Plus… we are trying to have our first child now and my wife tells me that she must not work right now since she is trying to get pregnant b/c she feels the stress/strain of working (even working a desk job) would decrease the likelihood of her getting pregnant. This is apparently a cultural sentiment. I have tried to be empathetic and considerate of our cultural differences, but it's getting difficult. I have been able to pay for all of my medical college tuition and our living expenses from my savings through my second year of medical school. However, as my savings accounts dwindle, financial pressures are mounting. My wife tells me that I should immediately drop out of medical school and pursue a nursing career since I will be able to earn a healthy income sooner than if I were to remain in medical school for 2 more years and then do a residency for 4 years. Before starting medical school, I considered doing an accelerated BSN to MSN program. My wife has worked part-time in the past but she always demanded that most of her income be sent to her family (grandfather, some aunts and uncles, and cousins) in the Philippines since their living situation is so desperate. I feel for her family in the Philippines and I would like to help them, but we have no income currently and my having no income is a source of stress for us. My wife seems unwilling to budge on this issue.

Will you please help me think through my options? There are so many ways to look at this situation. I believe I need to gain better clarity before making any decisions.

thanks!

-greg

Dude finish med school. If you don't you'll probably always have a lingering "what if" feeling. Also you're already a 2nd year, meaning only 2 more years to go. That's the exact same time it would take to get an MSN, and you'll still be making money during residency albeit maybe proportionally less compared to your hours. Also in the long run it's still financially better to go deeper in the debt hole now because 10-20 years from now you'll come out farther than you would've with nursing, and probably a lot happier. I really hate to encourage divorce, but marriage is all about compromise, it's a 2way street and it sounds as though she's not willing to compromise. Just my 2cents.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Excuse me...but, you married her because you shared religious faith? Uhh...rofl. You better hope when you get divorced, she doesn't take everything in alimony cause she just may.

(And I totally think you two should get divorced cause you's going to resent her.)

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You need to stay in med school fam, that's an opportunity most people will never have.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Marriage is about compromise, and she shouldn't be using her "culture" to just get whatever she wants. What about your culture how does that factor in? Imo you should stay in medical school and your wife needs to get a job, then if all is well in your marriage have a child when you reach residency and start making money, then she can be a stay at home mom. Medical school is an investment to both your futures. Having a child can not save your marriage, the adults need to do that first.

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I've got a friend in chiropractic. She makes way more money than I do. If this is all about the money, you might be happier continuing to work as chiropractor than as an RN. That being said, you are half way through medical school! You're nearing the home stretch. If you want to be a doctor, please, please continue on that path.

Half my relatives are immigrants, and I have to tell you that cries of "my culture" are really just excuses for not wanting to do something. When in Rome...

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Do not have kids.

Stay in med school.

Consider marriage counseling...or divorce.

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Dude, I'm sorry but you need to divorce this lady. Please don't have kids with her. She is USING you. You are her glorified sugar daddy. I'm sure she is cracking up with her family back home saying how much of a sucker you are. She got you good!

im not personally Filipino but have many in my family. In Chicago, I would say just about every nurse you will encounter is Filipino. I haven't seen a non Filipino nurse ever. They do work. Some of my family members struggled with their Filipino mates trying to send back all their money. That I could agree with is a cultural thing. But u need to straight out tell the woman look, u want me to be the bread winner? That's your culture? Well it's also in your culture that the MAN is the head of the household and makes ALL the decisions.

You sound really meek and you need to get it together if you want this to work. This woman is going to walk all over you if you don't put the hammer down. she doesn't respect you and you need to fix that pronto. She knows her attitude wouldn't fly in a traditional Filipino household. She's milking you dude. Wake up

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Dump her .. STAT!!! as in NOW... since no child involve yet... she's going to use any tricks she can do... so... write her a prescription note... #byefelicia

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Specializes in Family Practice, Mental Health.

To the OP: What about Your culture?

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What happened with the OP or did the dude already have a baby with this succubus he calls as a wife. Is it not obvious that she's using you and is selfish? -sigh-

R.I.P. OP

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
What happened with the OP or did the dude already have a baby with this succubus he calls as a wife. Is it not obvious that she's using you and is selfish? -sigh-

R.I.P. OP

I'm sure the OP is busy with his studies since he is his 2nd year of medical school & will update us as soon as he can.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Your wife needs to understand that in America -- the culture that she made the choice to live in -- marriages are partnerships. I've only read through the first page of replies, but this is what I'm gathering: she refuses to work despite the fact that you really can't due to the demands of med school. She doesn't care that you want to be a physician -- she wants you to give up your seat which you've worked hard on this year -- to attend a nursing program, so that you can work. (Side note: it's generally thought to be impossible to work through accelerated BSN programs too.) She's also unwilling to wait to conceive, asking you to take on fatherhood *right now!!!* while also asking that you work and attend school. And THEN, she manipulates you by giving you the silent treatment for days, claiming it's cultural when really it's immature maipulative behavior.

By the way, I've worked either as a CNA or an RN through each of my five pregnancies. Two of them were while working in high-level ICUs. My five children were all born at term. Three of them were unplanned pregnancies. I am hardly unique --women work, TTC, carry babies, and raise babies while working every single day. Using a cultural belief as an excuse does not make it true.

Be a nurse if you like the nursing model, being the one who spends most of his time at the bedside, etc. Don't be one because you were bullied out of med school by your wife.

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