Student Nurses opinion in online chat VS. being reported to Board of Re

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my opinion and being reported to the Board of Registered Nurses.

In a nutshell, after having 4 beers(I am a lightweight) I initiated a chat with someone( Mr. X) I added onto my yahoo messenger, whom I just met the day before from a gay social website. He is a recent graduate in eastern holistic medicine.

Mind now, I am home on my home PC.

OUr chat started regarding lifestyles which took off on its own. It encompassed friends who were promiscuous and eventually caught HIV.

Chat became heated after the topic of an (a)HIV+ man who knows he is positive initiates mutual sex wth another man,(b) HIV-, but (a) DOESNT tell (b) that he is hiv+. In CA, there is still in debate, a law that considers intention to do harm to (b) by (a) is is punishable. Mr X. stated that (a) is the victim and that (b) should have known better. I also asked why gay men in the leather fetish and the twink crowds had a higher incidence of HIV affliction and promsicuity- Mr. X wouldnt answer the question. His comments were that I was paranoid, an indiot and couldnt believe that I was a student nurse in this day and age.

Being 1/2 drunk and being egged by Mr.X with "your wrong u idiot and u need psychiatric counseling" he asked me whats my idea of a solution to HIV+ men. In my drunken stupor and humour that ranges from properfunny to cynical to "out in lieft field", I commented, " stick em all on an island and liight in on fire." I continued to discuss my observation of some Hiv+ men who lead self destructive lives despite being at death doors more than once and returning to ADL's. They return to a life promiscuous sex, drugs, and alcohol.

At the end of an hour of heated discussion on yahoo messenger chat, he comments that he is an HIV+ man and is appalled at my comments, and is going to report me to the board of Registered Nurses of what I said- esp the comment of the island and lighting it on fire.

In the context of the conversation, I stated it was my opinion, i leave my experiences and opinions at home and care for my assigned patients with care, i was a bit enubriated and so my restraints on inhibitions were loose, I was at home and not in care of a patient at the time of discussion,and emphasized that it was a freedom of speech within a chat.

I agree we both tapped the extreme in comments and notions during the chat.

I am a 78% student in an accelerated ADN program, good standing with my instructors, and have been told possess excellent people skills and communication.

I just recieved a copy of the letter he is to send to the Board Of Registered Nurses. It summarizes our discussion plus a log of our chat.

what are the chances of me being in trouble?

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If you did not discuss a ANY particular patient then what could be legally wrong here? Like you said, you leave all your opinions at home when you go to the hospital. Everyone has their own opinions; and if someone says they always agree with everyone else, they are lying. You give care to everyone equally and maintain privacy of your patients, that is what matters. However, this is a lesson learned; don't even joke about sensitive subjects with people you barely know. Just ask people the morning after their rowdy company Christmas parties, they will tell you many horror stories!

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

How does he even have your real information to report you to anyone? Did you really give some stranger on the internet you did not know your real name, school you attend and all that??

I don't see how an internet chat log can be proof of anything without an investigation where the cable company or internet provider is subpoenaed to hand over records verifying your identity. Usually threats against the government, internet harassment and pedophilia will warrant such things, I don't think this would. And without that proof their is no way to prove it was you on the other end of the chat. You could easily deny it was really you and there would be no way to prove it was without further investigation unless you gave your school your yahoo ID chat name as well.

I really hope this was a lesson learned in the end. I am not someone anal about the internet, but you gotta smarter then this to avoid these situations.

Also, what good is it going to do to report you to the board of registered nurses, you aren't a RN you are a student, according to your post??

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

People can be so incredibly vindictive. He can send his letter, but seriously, what are they going to do about it? You don't have a license yet for them to discipline, even if there was a problem with you voicing your opinion.

I know you already get this, but you need to curtail the personal info anywhere, anytime. There was a guy on here a while back, somehow the hospital he was doing his clinicals, completely misunderstood a comment on his Facebook page as making a derogatory comment about his patients. They kicked him off his clinical site, no questions asked. He never found out how they accessed his page.

Sorry you are going through all this anxiety.

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Specializes in CCU MICU Rapid Response.

post deleted

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I would apologize to the guy in a sincere way. Remember that stat. that most malpractice suits can be avoided if the offending party just apologized. It was insensitive what you said, especially for a nurse. Alcohol usually just amplifies our true feelings so try not to add any excuses to the apology, that would be my reccommendation. And now you can't run for office ;-)

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Why on earth would you say such a thing to a gay guy you meant on a gay chat line?

In fact, why on earth would you say such a thing period?

I don't think you can get in trouble with the BON.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

You have no license, so what can the BON do? Also, unless you gave this person your real name, address, etc...how can they prove this is you?

I'm not going to judge what you said or why you said it...I'm just going to offer some damage control advice:

1. Apologize sincerely to this person

2. Close this account(s) involved in this matter...or at the least, never use them again. At least I'd do this...some may say doing this would be evidence of guilt; I say it's not adding more fuel to the fire.

3. If you plan to frequent social websites or chat online, pick a user/screen name that a. has nothing to do with your real name, b. has nothing to do with your primary e-mail address, and c. does not have your real name or primary e-mail address attached to it. Then don't give that user/screen name out to anyone you know IRL--save it for online use only.

4. In fact, create seperate e-mail address/AIM/Y Messenger accounts only for social online activities, and never use your primary e-mail address for them. The e-mail address on your resume or on file with your school should not be attached to anything online that doesn't have to do with your job or school.

5. Even with doing #3 and #4, err on the side of paranoia and assume that anything you post online could somehow be traced back to you, and conduct yourself accordingly.

6. Never drink and post online.

and most importantly:

7. NEVER give your personal information (name, e-mail, location, etc.) out to anyone you just meet online. If they get offended when you won't share those details, consider that a red flag when talking to this person.

Good luck dealing with this, and mind how you conduct yourself in the future :)

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I don't think you can get in trouble with the BRN because you don't have a license. How would this person even know who you are?

Be careful what you say on facebook, my space, any public place on the net because prospective employers have been know to check out your pages before hiring you.

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Specializes in Home Care.

All I can say is wow....not so much about the comment you made to him but what I find hard to believe is that he has your name and school.

I've chatted with plenty of people on Yahoo, only rarely have I given my full name or any other revealing personal information.

Why on earth did you reveal personal information?

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People can find out a lot if they obtain your ip address. If a stranger on the internet has access to your email address he can use it to locate your ip address and find out your name, school, and where you live.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/ ER/ homecare.
People can be so incredibly vindictive. He can send his letter, but seriously, what are they going to do about it? You don't have a license yet for them to discipline, even if there was a problem with you voicing your opinion.

I know you already get this, but you need to curtail the personal info anywhere, anytime. There was a guy on here a while back, somehow the hospital he was doing his clinicals, completely misunderstood a comment on his Facebook page as making a derogatory comment about his patients. They kicked him off his clinical site, no questions asked. He never found out how they accessed his page.

Sorry you are going through all this anxiety.

THIS is why Facebook is such a bad idea. I cannot believe people want everyone knowing their personal business, seeing personal pictures, etc. Do people really need that much validation of their self worth from others??

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