Student Nurses opinion in online chat VS. being reported to Board of Re

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my opinion and being reported to the Board of Registered Nurses.

In a nutshell, after having 4 beers(I am a lightweight) I initiated a chat with someone( Mr. X) I added onto my yahoo messenger, whom I just met the day before from a gay social website. He is a recent graduate in eastern holistic medicine.

Mind now, I am home on my home PC.

OUr chat started regarding lifestyles which took off on its own. It encompassed friends who were promiscuous and eventually caught HIV.

Chat became heated after the topic of an (a)HIV+ man who knows he is positive initiates mutual sex wth another man,(b) HIV-, but (a) DOESNT tell (b) that he is hiv+. In CA, there is still in debate, a law that considers intention to do harm to (b) by (a) is is punishable. Mr X. stated that (a) is the victim and that (b) should have known better. I also asked why gay men in the leather fetish and the twink crowds had a higher incidence of HIV affliction and promsicuity- Mr. X wouldnt answer the question. His comments were that I was paranoid, an indiot and couldnt believe that I was a student nurse in this day and age.

Being 1/2 drunk and being egged by Mr.X with "your wrong u idiot and u need psychiatric counseling" he asked me whats my idea of a solution to HIV+ men. In my drunken stupor and humour that ranges from properfunny to cynical to "out in lieft field", I commented, " stick em all on an island and liight in on fire." I continued to discuss my observation of some Hiv+ men who lead self destructive lives despite being at death doors more than once and returning to ADL's. They return to a life promiscuous sex, drugs, and alcohol.

At the end of an hour of heated discussion on yahoo messenger chat, he comments that he is an HIV+ man and is appalled at my comments, and is going to report me to the board of Registered Nurses of what I said- esp the comment of the island and lighting it on fire.

In the context of the conversation, I stated it was my opinion, i leave my experiences and opinions at home and care for my assigned patients with care, i was a bit enubriated and so my restraints on inhibitions were loose, I was at home and not in care of a patient at the time of discussion,and emphasized that it was a freedom of speech within a chat.

I agree we both tapped the extreme in comments and notions during the chat.

I am a 78% student in an accelerated ADN program, good standing with my instructors, and have been told possess excellent people skills and communication.

I just recieved a copy of the letter he is to send to the Board Of Registered Nurses. It summarizes our discussion plus a log of our chat.

what are the chances of me being in trouble?

Specializes in Army Medic.
for cripe's sake, put your big nanny spoon away! there is no reason for the op to stop chatting with random strangers on the internet. if that is a person's preferred course of behavior, so be it and to hell with what you think about it.

good advice, unless the op disagrees with you. then, the op can and will do what comes naturally.

you want the op to forget all about it, but you still want the op to learn something from it. the two actions are mutually exclusive.

hey nanny nanny! ;)

what's it to you?

conveniently left out the first line where it said my advice and if the op takes it they'll never find themselves in a situation like this again, but it is just advice. people do as they please - and i'm all for that. you comment on it like i was giving the advice to you instead. ;)

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Thank you all for the reality slap.

Its forgotten and behind me- I am burying my face in my med surg book till graduation( and a little PSP gametime for breaks)

I consider all your words advice and a lesson. I read, heard, and will listen.

Thank you all.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
QUOTE=buddha619 . . .Lesson learned in this event. In the case of safety, should I alert my Nursing director of the situation?

Did Mr.X threaten any sort of violence against your school? If not, NO. Never mention it to anyone ever again. Best of luck to you, none of us are saints-- Lord knows .;)

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
This person wasn't on facebook they were on a Yahoo instant chat. Their is nothing wrong with having a facebook and it has nothing to with needing validation of your self worth. Some of us know how to be smart using it and use it to keep in touch with friends and family.

Nothing wrong with using Yahoo Instant Messenger either, or AIM, or any chat/messaging programs...it's all just a matter of knowing how to use these services intelligently. Too many people don't realize how permanent the things they say/do on the internet can be and how they can come back to haunt them...and usually they find that lesson out the hard way.

OP: play some good PSP games on your breaks. IMO, no need to let your nursing director know what happened--while your judgement was poor, you didn't violate HIPAA and the guy doesn't have your real name. So let it go, reflect on everything you've learned from this, and good luck in the future.

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Heavens no! Do not mention a word of this to your Nursing Director!

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Whatever you do, DO NOT MENTION THIS TO YOUR NURSING DIRECTOR. I think you've been punished enough by your own embarrassment, as well as some of the flaming posts received on this blog. Chalk it up to a learning experience, get yourself a new IM address. He can't get you in trouble, especially since he can't prove it was you. Once you graduate, you will most likely recite the Nightingale Pledge. Read it carefully:

"I solemnly pledge myself before God and in the presence of this assembly, to pass my life in purity and to practice my profession faithfully. I will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous, and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug. I will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession, and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping and all family affairs coming to my knowledge in the practice of my calling. With loyalty will I endeavor to aid the physician, in his work, and devote myself to the welfare of those committed to my care."Our job as nurses is to give unbiased care to everyone, regardless of age, weight, skin color, HIV status, creed, sexuality, and every other social/cultural/economic variant known to mankind.

ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU ACT, OR SPEAK. Getting inebriated and then flapping your gums to every Tom, Dick, and Harry about sensitive subjects such as HIV is NEVER a good idea. Nursing is about being empathetic toward your patients. Try to imagine yourself as an HIV + person. HIV is not just a "gay disease". How do you know this person wasn't accidentally exposed, such as a blood transfusion, or needle stick. What if he was raped and got it from the man that raped him. what if you were one of those men that were exposed to HIV by someone who wouldn't reveal their HIV status to you, and you find out 5 or 10 years later that you are now HIV +. You'd be pretty mad, wouldn't you. Scared? Depressed?

You need to reach a point of maturity in your personal as well as professional life in order to do this job well.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
Thank you all for your insight.

Yes I feel remorse for my actions while intoxicated. Only info Mr. X has is my email address and another first name I go by- not my true legal name. I am not homophobic - I have alot of gay friends I hang out with and also a sibling that is gay. I am comfy to go to a gay bar alone, grab a beer and people watch. Pretty much.. i am very open minded.

I dont drink often.. maybe 4 beers a month. it just happened I drank all 4 beers last night and so, the situation happened. My clinical critiques have been excellent esp with patient interaction and also with staff, so I can assume I am liked for my character and demeanor.

In the sequence of the chat, I did not use any specific name or violate HIPPA.

Lesson learned in this event. In the case of safety, should I alert my Nursing director of the situation?

OMG NO, why would you do THAT?!?!

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Nothing wrong with using Yahoo Instant Messenger either, or AIM, or any chat/messaging programs...it's all just a matter of knowing how to use these services intelligently. Too many people don't realize how permanent the things they say/do on the internet can be and how they can come back to haunt them...and usually they find that lesson out the hard way.

OP: play some good PSP games on your breaks. IMO, no need to let your nursing director know what happened--while your judgement was poor, you didn't violate HIPAA and the guy doesn't have your real name. So let it go, reflect on everything you've learned from this, and good luck in the future.

Oh I agree,(they just made it a point to call out Facebook) I use Yahoo Chat and webcam with my kids to talk to their grandparents and husband to talk with, when he is out of town and stuff. I let my kids have internet and my eldest has facebook. But I am diligent about keeping track of everything, keeping things private and so on. I honestly can't believe someone said that if you have these things you are looking for validation of your self worth. Well something along those lines.

I LOVE the internet. It can be a valuable valuable tool if used properly.

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I think you must be leaving out part of this story. How did this person obtain your presonal information? Maybe you said and I missed it....

However, DO NOT MENTION THIS TO YOUR DIRECTOR. IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS.

I understand that in a chat, when someone irritates you it's easy to say something as rude as possible. Learn from this mistake. Maintain your professionalism at all times. There will be an instance when a patient or patient family member will challenge you so don't take the bait. Smile....keep an even tone....and be respectful.

I think the BON could, in fact, prevent you from obtaining a license but they'd have to prove this even happened meaning a costly investigation on their end. So keep chugging away.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I don't think the issue is what Buddha619 said, so I'm not understanding the homophobia/intolerance/substance abuse lectures, even though I agree with what the lecturers are saying. I don't know anyone who has never said something stupid, in the heat of the moment, or under the influence of alcohol that is objectionable.

Do we really have to be that paranoid that a fellow citizen who hears something said at, say, a party is going to turn us in to the BON? The Florence Nightingale pledge notwithstanding, this tendency to be purity police when someone is not breaking any laws and is not on duty is getting to be a bit much.

Nothing wrong with trying to alert other people to the more enlightened viewpoint, but too often people pick out of a post an un-pc reference and then the original point is lost in the ensuing exchange. There may be readers here that want to see the responses to the actual question. You can always PM someone if you want to re-educate them to your more tolerant view. JMO. .002. Fire repellant gear donned.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

As for the comments that the OP is homophobic- I beleive what set him off was not really gay men or even HIV+ gay men, but those that knowingly put others' lives at risk by a sexual encounter without telling their partner, even though they knew they were HIV +. I beleive he would have probably felt the same if it were heterosexual couples. Did he go overboard? yes Homophobic? IMHO no.

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