Student Nurses opinion in online chat VS. being reported to Board of Re

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my opinion and being reported to the Board of Registered Nurses.

In a nutshell, after having 4 beers(I am a lightweight) I initiated a chat with someone( Mr. X) I added onto my yahoo messenger, whom I just met the day before from a gay social website. He is a recent graduate in eastern holistic medicine.

Mind now, I am home on my home PC.

OUr chat started regarding lifestyles which took off on its own. It encompassed friends who were promiscuous and eventually caught HIV.

Chat became heated after the topic of an (a)HIV+ man who knows he is positive initiates mutual sex wth another man,(b) HIV-, but (a) DOESNT tell (b) that he is hiv+. In CA, there is still in debate, a law that considers intention to do harm to (b) by (a) is is punishable. Mr X. stated that (a) is the victim and that (b) should have known better. I also asked why gay men in the leather fetish and the twink crowds had a higher incidence of HIV affliction and promsicuity- Mr. X wouldnt answer the question. His comments were that I was paranoid, an indiot and couldnt believe that I was a student nurse in this day and age.

Being 1/2 drunk and being egged by Mr.X with "your wrong u idiot and u need psychiatric counseling" he asked me whats my idea of a solution to HIV+ men. In my drunken stupor and humour that ranges from properfunny to cynical to "out in lieft field", I commented, " stick em all on an island and liight in on fire." I continued to discuss my observation of some Hiv+ men who lead self destructive lives despite being at death doors more than once and returning to ADL's. They return to a life promiscuous sex, drugs, and alcohol.

At the end of an hour of heated discussion on yahoo messenger chat, he comments that he is an HIV+ man and is appalled at my comments, and is going to report me to the board of Registered Nurses of what I said- esp the comment of the island and lighting it on fire.

In the context of the conversation, I stated it was my opinion, i leave my experiences and opinions at home and care for my assigned patients with care, i was a bit enubriated and so my restraints on inhibitions were loose, I was at home and not in care of a patient at the time of discussion,and emphasized that it was a freedom of speech within a chat.

I agree we both tapped the extreme in comments and notions during the chat.

I am a 78% student in an accelerated ADN program, good standing with my instructors, and have been told possess excellent people skills and communication.

I just recieved a copy of the letter he is to send to the Board Of Registered Nurses. It summarizes our discussion plus a log of our chat.

what are the chances of me being in trouble?

Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

I'd be more concerned about your drinking habits.....

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Specializes in Med-Surg/ ER/ homecare.
I would apologize to the guy in a sincere way. Remember that stat. that most malpractice suits can be avoided if the offending party just apologized. It was insensitive what you said, especially for a nurse. Alcohol usually just amplifies our true feelings so try not to add any excuses to the apology, that would be my reccommendation. And now you can't run for office ;-)

Just because one is a nurse doesnt mean you have to kiss everyone's butt. Maybe what this person said was insensitive, but this person's opinion didnt compromise the health of a patient, nor was it directed at a patient. If someone sees me on the street and they hear me say something to a friend like "I dont like gay people"(JUST an example), how on EARTH would the BON have any right to discipline me for expressing my opinion OUTSIDE of work to a NON patient??? Freedom of speech...

I dont think this person has anything to worry about, and unless they ARE sorry for what they said, they owe nothing to the other person, especially since the other person is being totally rediculous and trying to punish that person for their opinion.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
People can find out a lot if they obtain your ip address. If a stranger on the internet has access to your email address he can use it to locate your ip address and find out your name, school, and where you live.

Before everyone panics...an IP address from an e-mail will not lead a stranger to your doorstep, that is: they can't find out your home address from it. All an IP address can tell someone is what internet service provider you use or what institution (school, work, otherwise) you are posting from, and your country, state and city (be it exact city or nearby major city). It will not say "Jane Doe, 1 Main Street, Anytown USA", so don't worry...still, that's not excuse not to practice safe surfing habits online.

The only time an IP address could lead to revealing your name and address is if you regstered a website domain; then that information is in the ICANN registry. But unless you own web domains and/or run websites, that won't apply to you so you don't even need to worry about it ;)

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Specializes in A and E, Medicine, Surgery.

Hold on a second here have I missed the point completely????? whilst partially under the influence of alcohol the op commented ........

" stick em all on an island and liight in on fire." in respect of hiv+ men.

Ok no you will not lose your licence but come on this is blatant homophobia and I first heard these comments when we as nurses first started caring for HIV+ patients in the 80's, and it was wrong and damaging then. Humour is no excuse and if you said this about any other minority group there quite rightly would be absolute outrage.

So no I don't think you will lose your licence but do I think you need to do some pretty deep reflection then yes

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You have no license to even lose right now and even if you did you wouldn't lose it for this.

Your comments however are homophobic, you're drinking to the point your judgment is very impaired, and you provided a complete and utter stranger with personal information. You'd better put down the beer, open your mind, and turn off the computer.

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I would apologize to the guy in a sincere way. Remember that stat. that most malpractice suits can be avoided if the offending party just apologized. It was insensitive what you said, especially for a nurse. Alcohol usually just amplifies our true feelings so try not to add any excuses to the apology, that would be my reccommendation. And now you can't run for office ;-)

Truer words have not been spoken!

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Thank you all for your insight.

Yes I feel remorse for my actions while intoxicated. Only info Mr. X has is my email address and another first name I go by- not my true legal name. I am not homophobic - I have alot of gay friends I hang out with and also a sibling that is gay. I am comfy to go to a gay bar alone, grab a beer and people watch. Pretty much.. i am very open minded.

I dont drink often.. maybe 4 beers a month. it just happened I drank all 4 beers last night and so, the situation happened. My clinical critiques have been excellent esp with patient interaction and also with staff, so I can assume I am liked for my character and demeanor.

In the sequence of the chat, I did not use any specific name or violate HIPPA.

Lesson learned in this event. In the case of safety, should I alert my Nursing director of the situation?

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Cut off all contact with this person and say nothing about this to your fellow students, instructor, or Director. There is no need to do so. You didn't violate HIPAA. Chalk this up to a bad night and a good learning experience and move on. Good luck.

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NO! Leave it alone.

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Specializes in Army Medic.

My advice.

1. Stop chatting with random strangers on the internet - using a forum is completely different from one on one chat messaging. There is no reason to be having private conversations on the internet with anyone you do not know in real life - and if you do initiate private conversations they should be strictly on a mentoring basis. I.e. I need advice on this matter, this person is experienced in this matter, I'll get that persons opinion on the matter.

2. Realize that you are accountable for everything you post on the internet. Just because it doesn't include direct face to face conversation means nothing. Everything you post is - in essence - a permanent reflection of who you are. This isn't fantasy land where you get to let your guard down, this is a documented paper trail where you should have your guard up - act accordingly. If you want to be a drunk mess, do so with your own friends - not with complete strangers in a documented setting.

3. Forget any of this ever happened. There is nothing that you did wrong legally - morally yes - legally you're free and clear. Whoever it is you talked to is bordering harassment and stalker type behavior. Cut all ties immediately.

4. Study more, if you're a nursing student - you should have your nose in books. Not on the internet yacking it up with strangers, and especially not out getting drunk.

There are nurses who skate by in their school, and their are nurses who dedicate themselves to learning the material like it's the back of their hand. Which one do you want to be?

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My advice.

1. Stop chatting with random strangers on the internet - using a forum is completely different from one on one chat messaging. There is no reason to be having private conversations on the internet with anyone you do not know in real life - and if you do initiate private conversations they should be strictly on a mentoring basis. I.e. I need advice on this matter, this person is experienced in this matter, I'll get that persons opinion on the matter.

For cripe's sake, put your big Nanny spoon away! There is no reason for the OP to stop chatting with random strangers on the Internet. If that is a person's preferred course of behavior, so be it and to hell with what you think about it.

2. Realize that you are accountable for everything you post on the internet. Just because it doesn't include direct face to face conversation means nothing. Everything you post is - in essence - a permanent reflection of who you are. This isn't fantasy land where you get to let your guard down, this is a documented paper trail where you should have your guard up - act accordingly. If you want to be a drunk mess, do so with your own friends - not with complete strangers in a documented setting.

Good advice, unless the OP disagrees with you. Then, the OP can and will do what comes naturally.

3. Forget any of this ever happened. There is nothing that you did wrong legally - morally yes - legally you're free and clear. Whoever it is you talked to is bordering harassment and stalker type behavior. Cut all ties immediately.

You want the OP to forget all about it, but you still want the OP to learn something from it. The two actions are mutually exclusive.

4. Study more, if you're a nursing student - you should have your nose in books. Not on the internet yacking it up with strangers, and especially not out getting drunk.

Hey nanny nanny! ;)

There are nurses who skate by in their school, and their are nurses who dedicate themselves to learning the material like it's the back of their hand. Which one do you want to be?

What's it to you?

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
THIS is why Facebook is such a bad idea. I cannot believe people want everyone knowing their personal business, seeing personal pictures, etc. Do people really need that much validation of their self worth from others??

This person wasn't on facebook they were on a Yahoo instant chat. Their is nothing wrong with having a facebook and it has nothing to with needing validation of your self worth. Some of us know how to be smart using it and use it to keep in touch with friends and family.

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