Stuck in the rumor mill at work...

[ToughLover]

So this week my boss got called into HR and was attacked with questions about myself and several other of my coworkers having possible illicit relationships based on rumors they'd been hearing. Myself and the people involved are shocked and offended and I personally am having a hard time understanding why one of my coworkers who I liked and trusted is throwing me under the bus for apparently no good reason. The allegations are that myself and another girl are hooking up with our boss and fighting over him (she and I are great friends and also great friends with our boss in a totally non-sexual way), another girl who is married is hooking up with a male coworker (also not true), and that another of our coworkers is having sex in closets with someone from lab (also not true). I believe the problem is that since all of us involved in the rumors are very close friends people take our joking and flirtation as something way more serious than it is. However I am very hurt by all of this because not only does it affect my reputation but also hurts my working relationships because I no longer know who I can trust. In addition, I now am not going to be able to spend time with my friends outside of work because it will only add fire to the rumors. Just wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone has encountered a similar situation since hospitals are so gossipy.

[DarkBluePhoenix]

Uck. I am sorry your having this problem. I had the similar problem, a coworker betraying me to get rid of me. I used to work in an office and I almost got fired over it! Luckily I quit (I was going to get laid off anyway, its when the economy tanked) but geez. Someone is a lil jealous of you!

Only insecure people start rumors and only the weak minded follow them.

I hope all gets better.

[ToughLover]

I thought most workplaces didn't care anymore who slept with who provided it didn't affect the job you do!

That's what I thought but apparently that's not true because if anything my level if patient care has improved because I was enjoying being at work!

[JSlovex2]

people should pay more attention to their patients instead of what so and so is doing. it's like all the stupid memos we get about dress code or something else ridiculous become some cute young nurse decided to wear shoes that had a hint of color and some old hag had time to report it. if you have time to worry about what's on someone's feet (or who someone is having sex with) then i'd be questioning whether or not you're using your time wisely. too bad i'm not the boss.

[commonsense]

That's what I thought but apparently that's not true because if anything my level if patient care has improved because I was enjoying being at work!

Wait til he start's ******* your best friend, see how your patient care is impacted then. Not hating just being honest.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

When you yourself describe the relationship between your boss as 'flirtatious' it makes me cringe a bit......it doesn't speak much to the professionalism of the environment. and if your boss is telling you things that your not supposed to be told there is obviously some inappropriate boundaries. I'm ALL for having fun at work but i think that professionalism needs to stay at the center of that. Sorry you are having to deal with rumors though...that is always unfair .

[KaringOne]

Wait til he start's ******* your best friend, see how your patient care is impacted then. Not hating just being honest.

What? I thought she said she wasn't having an affair with her boss...Did I miss something?

[ToughLover]

What? I thought she said she wasn't having an affair with her boss...Did I miss something?

Haha that's exactly what I said... I'm definitely not sleeping with him. That's the problem and why I'm ****** that I'm being accused of doing just that. And by the way, when I say "boss" I mean clinical coordinator/charge nurse. Not manager.

[KaringOne]

Haha that's exactly what I said... I'm definitely not sleeping with him. That's the problem and why I'm ****** that I'm being accused of doing just that. And by the way, when I say "boss" I mean clinical coordinator/charge nurse. Not manager.

OK.

Well, if none of the "higher ups" have come to u directly to discuss this situation, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Unfortunately there is always someone spreading rumors & lies about other people if for no other reason than to hear their own voice. Even if u are upset about it, don't give that person who is lying on u the advantage of knowing it by showing it. (Don't let em see u sweat:)). When someone talks about u, it means that they're thinking about u, u are on their mind. Chalk it up to jealousy. It just seems 2 me that this person is-what we like 2 commonly call these days-a Hater. Yep. And I do believe that the saying goes "Haters make me greater." So rise up from this. We all get talked about. For those who think that they don't, they just don't have bionic ears.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Sounds like the accuser desperately wants to be cast as an extra in Nurse Jackie.

[2monkeys]

that has happened at my job too, and mostly because of flirtling and occassionally inappropriate (yet funny ) comments made while working. Although it's fun to flirt and joke around at work, this+jealousy=baby games. Best thing to do is laugh it off, be sure that although you and your boss are friends that he doesn't play favorites. People who are good friends with their boss are usually the ones who work the hardest, and the boss has respect for them, which is part of the reson they are friends.

[rn/writer, RN]

Avoid speculation. Back off on the flirtation. Stay off the radar as much as possible. Keep quiet about the whole situation unless you are summoned for questioning.

The best thing you can do is behave professionally and refuse to be sucked into the drama vortex.

[NightOwl0624]

Avoid speculation. Back off on the flirtation. Stay off the radar as much as possible. Keep quiet about the whole situation unless you are summoned for questioning.

The best thing you can do is behave professionally and refuse to be sucked into the drama vortex.

Great advise! It's great to have a good working relationship and enjoy your job, but flirting is sort of inappropriate in the work setting, even if you all are friends.