Stuck in the rumor mill at work...

DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP · Jun 3, 2011

I'm surprised anyone has time for this kind of nonsense behavior in the workplace.

I consider myself fortunate if I have time to eat and pee during my workday.

brandy1017, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2011

Gossip and backstabbing is very common in most hospitals. It can be about anything, not just sex. I've learned the best way to deal with it is to be very businesslike at work. Its sad but it seems its best to keep your personal life private and not to get too close with coworkers. It's better to have friends outside of work; and I would suggest avoiding friending coworkers on facebook, although I know many nurses, especially younger ones would probably disagree.

Otessa, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2011

So this week my boss got called into HR and was attacked with questions about myself and several other of my coworkers having possible illicit relationships based on rumors they'd been hearing. Myself and the people involved are shocked and offended and I personally am having a hard time understanding why one of my coworkers who I liked and trusted is throwing me under the bus for apparently no good reason. The allegations are that myself and another girl are hooking up with our boss and fighting over him (she and I are great friends and also great friends with our boss in a totally non-sexual way), another girl who is married is hooking up with a male coworker (also not true), and that another of our coworkers is having sex in closets with someone from lab (also not true). I believe the problem is that since all of us involved in the rumors are very close friends people take our joking and flirtation as something way more serious than it is. However I am very hurt by all of this because not only does it affect my reputation but also hurts my working relationships because I no longer know who I can trust. In addition, I now am not going to be able to spend time with my friends outside of work because it will only add fire to the rumors. Just wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone has encountered a similar situation since hospitals are so gossipy.

If you and your co-workers truly are joking and are flirting with each other, look at it through new eyes. Would your parents or Sunday school teacher know that this was all innocent and that with all this joking and flirtation you would still be viewed professionally? This is not junior high or high school-this could mar your career at this hospital (true or not).

Tend to keep my professional life professional and have some friends from work but we don't go overboard at work-just friendly-as you would be with any co-worker.

It is wrong to start untrue rumors, it is also wrong to act unprofessionally (or what could be deemed unprofessional) at work.

linearthinker, DNP, RN · Jun 4, 2011

Only read the OP. The problem seems to stem from the "joking and flirtation." Keep your professional relationships and workplace behavior professional and the problem will solve itself. Good luck.

ToughLover · Jun 4, 2011

Thanks for all the advice everyone. Just laying low and keeping the fun and joking to a minimum. I think part of the problem was that I got too close with my co workers and therefore felt comfortable being myself at work. I have my super professional awesome nurse pants back on and am getting down to business. :)

suanna · Jun 4, 2011

Didn't read through all the posts but I'm out of time:

I think it's sad we cannot have an innocent, playful relationship with our supervisor, co-worker, or someone from another department without someone making something sordid of it. Nursing can bring out a bit of our "base" nature at times. I know few nurses who are easily offended by off color humor, or innocent "flirtations". It is common in the enviornment in which we work. Anyone who was offended need only make thier feelings known and the rest of the staff went out of thier way to avoid any behavior that was likely to offend.

Someone has too much imagination. The other possibility is they had real desire to see you, your boss, or whoever else they "reported" get the boot. I have known of someone I once considered a friend to actively make up complete lies about me and report them to management beacuse (I suppose) we disagreed about a minor point of contention on my unit. Some people are just vicious, and have no qualms about going above and beyond the norm to stab someone in the back as relatiation for the slightest imagined affront. All you can do is try to rein in your behavior when the suspected party is around, and learn to watch your back.

It's such a shame someone has to take all the joy out of a workplace, just to meet thier own petty vendettas.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2011

ageist much?

eating the old.

Chin up · Jun 4, 2011

Eating the old.

Lmao!

netglow, ASN, RN · Jun 4, 2011

To the OP,

Simple. If your group wants to be friends, great. So carry on with your group but just be pals outside of work. This is comic to me - all the dust up. Don't go to management, ignore it all outwardly.

I tend to like to inflate unfounded comments so that things become absolutely ridiculous. I am evil that way. I ususally will set up an accuser so that they become so obsessed that they make totally unfounded statements all the while I document and wait. My way of handing them the shovel so they can dig their own grave (so to speak). I believe I have (psycho)pathic abilities in this It has worked in my past a few times with various things. I'd have to think a while on this one. Hmmmm.