Stuck in the rumor mill at work...

Nurses Relations

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So this week my boss got called into HR and was attacked with questions about myself and several other of my coworkers having possible illicit relationships based on rumors they'd been hearing. Myself and the people involved are shocked and offended and I personally am having a hard time understanding why one of my coworkers who I liked and trusted is throwing me under the bus for apparently no good reason. The allegations are that myself and another girl are hooking up with our boss and fighting over him (she and I are great friends and also great friends with our boss in a totally non-sexual way), another girl who is married is hooking up with a male coworker (also not true), and that another of our coworkers is having sex in closets with someone from lab (also not true). I believe the problem is that since all of us involved in the rumors are very close friends people take our joking and flirtation as something way more serious than it is. However I am very hurt by all of this because not only does it affect my reputation but also hurts my working relationships because I no longer know who I can trust. In addition, I now am not going to be able to spend time with my friends outside of work because it will only add fire to the rumors. Just wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone has encountered a similar situation since hospitals are so gossipy.

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Welcome to the 13th and 14th grade and you thought they were childish in hs

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Sorry you are having issues. I have had these issues in my early 20's, and though it seems like a huge ordeal right now, it will pass. It's really just drama. As much as you are reeling from the, "he said, she said' madness. Try not to think about it.

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Sounds like someone is jealous that you and the others have been able to make friends at work.

Totally sucks. Sorry you guys are having to go through this.

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Specializes in OB, Med/Surg, Ortho, ICU.

The truth will prevail, but it doesn't fix your coworker's behavior. Was this an anonymous tip, or did someone make an outright accusation? It would be nice to have the right to face your accuser, but often those that like to stir the pot do so anonymously. Perhaps going to management with what you just said would be a proactive way to handle this? Also, I've found it useful if you are suspicious of someone feeding rumors to never have private conversations so there is always a witness to what is said. Good luck!

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Specializes in CNA.

1st, gossip appears to just be a part of the medical field make-up. 2nd, if its not true, tell HR so and end it there. Dont feed the gossips ego by letting her/him know how much it bothered you.

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The accuser went to management herself but they won't tell us who it was. We have someone we suspect even though she has no reason to hurt any of us except the fact that she doesn't like my boss. And I want to go straight to management to clear it up but I've been told not to until they approach me because none of us are supposed to know about it

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Specializes in OB, Med/Surg, Ortho, ICU.

Yuck!

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Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.

Stopping to see each other after work because of these rumors will only feed fuel to the fire. Carry on as usual and know that green knows no bounds. Some people can't stand to see other people happy. It's sad that this person or persons are so unhappy; they must be suffering ... Nevertheless; it's not a reason to destroy others people's happiness.

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Specializes in ICU.

Just be honest with them, if it's not true inform them of the truth. However, if it is true, i'd lie like a dog. It's not like they're going to launch an investigation.

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Specializes in ICU.

I thought most workplaces didn't care anymore who slept with who provided it didn't affect the job you do!

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Specializes in Home Care.
The accuser went to management herself but they won't tell us who it was. We have someone we suspect even though she has no reason to hurt any of us except the fact that she doesn't like my boss. And I want to go straight to management to clear it up but I've been told not to until they approach me because none of us are supposed to know about it

Oh really? And how is it that you know if you're not supposed to know about it? Did your manager friend say something to you? She should have said nothing...that's her job.

Have you considered that perhaps your accuser doesn't like you being buddy buddy with a manager and perhaps feels that you are getting preferential treatment. But it doesn't give him/her the right to go to management with false accusations.

I have a feeling there's more to your story than you've told.

I'm old school, spent time in the military and worked for corporations that had rules against junior employees being friendly with management.

What's really nice about being older is that I learned long ago not to associate with anyone from work and not to get involved in any gossip.

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