Stress, students and stomach aches - a minor rant

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

Just had a teacher pop her head in to let me know that a student that she has sent down to me for stomach aches several times (that i have sent back to class usually after a short assessment and have also seen for many many c/o nausea, stomach aches) was hospitalized last week for an attempted suicide. Her tone came off as accusatory and almost gloating that thought i had been dismissive of this student. In reality, I had called and spoken with this student's family twice already this year about frequent visits and possible stressors. And I had sent this student home for stomach aches and vomiting just a week or so earlier.

Mind you, this is my first year in this district, the last nurse was here 25+ years and knew everything about everyone. The staff has been having a bit of a hard time adjusting to me and seem to forget that i've been a school nurse for over 10 years now.

I know that school is a rough time for kids. I know that students get a lot of non descript symptoms when they are feeling stressed and they may not even recognize that they are even under stress. And I try to do everything in my power to be supportive and positive for the students. But the staff needs to realize that #1 - we are school nurses, not miracle workers (over worked, tired...often working through lunch - ask a teacher to skip their lunch or prep and see how the fur flies). #2 we can't send home a kid each and every time his/her tummy hurts - especially if there is no vomiting involved. Maybe a little rest, but some of these kids would choose to rest here all day if they could. We have to pick and choose our interventions for what is appropriate for what we assess at that event #3 I am not trying to be mean, and i certainly don't want to see a child hurt themself or worse - i just want to see these kids succeed and learn how to work through their problems.

ok, rant over....

[bsyrn, ASN, RN]

I feel your pain.....You know you did as much as you could so let it go and don't let it ruin your day. Teachers have NO CLUE what we do and probably never will.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

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[Career2_BSN, BSN]

You did everything you could by talking with the child when she came to you and calling the parents to express concern. Thankfully, the child in your school didn't succeed and still has opportunity to get help.

One of my son's peers committed suicide near the beginning of the school year. He was 13 and in the 8th grade. I had never heard of a teen so young even attempting suicide. My son didn't know him personally but shared rumors that were going around school. His friends said there were problems at home but he seemed to have a lot of friends at school and got along well with everyone. One Monday morning, he ended everything rather than go to school.

I was in tears when I learned of this. I hugged my son over and over and told him to never never think about suicide. No matter what problems he faces, we will always help and there will always be a way out. He saw me cry for a kid I had never met and express my concern for the parents and siblings who will forever feel grief over this. I can only hope and pray my message got through.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

We had a kid kill himself in a local school bathroom. Another student found him. I believe they were in like 8th grade. Who knows why he did it. Rumors were bullying then it was found he was a popular student. Who knows what his reason was?

I definitely couldn't work with kids. I am glad that there are those of you who love it.

[BSNbeauty, BSN, RN]

I understand how you feel. That teacher had no right to get on your case. As a school nurse you cannot possibly know what is going on with each and every student. You assessed, communicated with the parents and that was all you could do.

[amygarside]

This is really a hard situation. Kids these days have more stress compared to the early years.

[TerpGal02, ASN]

I work inpt psych at a hospital that treats adults and child and adolescent. What I can tell you is that I can count on my hand the number of admissions I have done (esp with the kids) that recurrent stomach aches were NOT a somatic concern. Seems like a lot of kids hold all their anxiety in their stomach.

[cav5]

This is a lot to work through. Right now there is a lot of "blame game" going on, while expected it is not helpful to anybody. You did the best that you could-teenagers especially don't open up. I say that as a school nurse and a mother of 3 teenagers. My thoughts and prayers go out to you because there for the grace of God go I and every one of us.

I won't say don't let her get to you because it already happened as she knew it would. I will say this...don't believe it to be true.

[100kids, BSN, RN]

I am so sad for what happenned and so angry this teacher thought it was ok to dump on you about it. They certainly have no clue about what we do, although I often find they want to tell me what to do and how I should be doing it. It's never easy making an assessment when someone has non descript pain/discomfort but no concrete signs of illness. We are put in the position of making judgements on who just needs an ear, or a hug and who needs real attention every day and I'm sorry for you that this happenned to one of your kids. I feel your pain on the being new in that district and dealing with the ghosts of nurses past. I sometimes still deal with that where I am. Stay strong and know you did what you could but never could have known this child's intentions. I for one know you're a great school nurse because your advice has helped me tremendously since I started!

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Ugh

So sorry you got dumped on like that....You are right, we can only do so much....I wonder if she is feeling guilty for sending the kiddo to you without another thought?....If I/we sent home every kid with a stomachache.....I/we would be unemplpoyed and as well, if I assessed every kid as a potential suicide....

Just cannot win some days. You did the right thing by following up with multiple phone calls. Sometimes you just CANNOT see what what will happen. We lost a freshman to suicide several years ago and NO ONE saw it coming...family, friends, school... NO ONE.

You need to reflect on all the lives you have touched and the difference you have made to so many Any chance there can a debriefing with staff, guidance etc? NAMI is a great resource.

((hugs))

[bell1962]

I am so sorry this happened. There really are days when you just can't win. You did all you could do.