Sooooo done with the verbal abuse!

Published

Can I just say that I have had it up to HERE (you can't see how high "here" is, but trust me, it's HIGH, haha) with visitors bossing me and other nurses and techs around and verbally abusing us when they don't get what they want exactly when they want it??

Before I say anything else, I have already thought of all possible excuses for her feelings, and NONE of them give her (or anyone) the right to treat another person the way she treated me. I won't get specific about what was said, but I think you'll get the gist.

So I was lead tonight, and this lady came out and demanded that someone do something for her husband. Another RN asked me something about it, and I answered her. Both the RN and the visitor misunderstood what I said. The RN didn't help things by not letting me clarify, and she stomped off ****** at me, thinking I refused to do what she asked me to. But the best part is, the pt's wife went completely ballistic on me, would not let me explain what I meant, berated me to the point where I was almost in tears (and I NEVER cry). I did end up crying when I talked to the other RN and told her I didn't appreciate her treating me the way she did. I tried to apologize to pt's wife for not being clear 3 different times, and each time she cut me off before I could even finish a sentence. The best part is, if they would have let me clarify what I meant in the first place, I could have done what she wanted 10 minutes sooner. Instead, she didn't let me say anything, and basically told me that I should not be a nurse and how terrible I am (all from ONE sentence that she misunderstood, or maybe I didn't communicate clearly!!!!!) and that she will be "talking to my superiors about me". Also told me I better stay away from that room. I have never even met her or her husband before!! WTH?????? I am so sick of ******* CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is this considerd okay???

:banghead: :argue: :angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire

some of us nurses want to make up a questionairre for the admissions process that asks things like "are you or any member of your family mentally ill?" you know...important things we need to know :)

Baaaaaahaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!!!!!

I think I just split a gut... I need a nurse! Help!

I work in psych and I'm telling you that those families often have more issues than the patients themselves!

There have been plenty of times we have felt we were hospitalizing the wrong person. "Why is dad here? He seems FINE... it's the daughter we need to admit!"

We had a patient that was a normal as normal could be... but his daughter, who he lived with was a neurotic NAG! She nagged the poor guy endlessly and would come to visit him and nag the hell outta him and nag the hell outta US!! It was outta control!

She turned him into an anxious bag of jell-o and I actually had to spend a great deal of time charting on HER behavior just to have a record of how her behavior was impacting HIS!

She wouldn't let him move one finger without her yelling at him to "sit still! don't move!". He would actually try to get up and get AWAY from her, she was sooo unbearable and she would yell for him to come back.

You had to see it to believe it!

It was like she was trying to make him crazy!!!

We actually had to kick her out! She told her dad, as she read off some patients' names from the board, "Look! There's a 'Sally' here! See! Mom is here!"

Uh... "mom" was dead and this guy was NOT confused! He knew that wasn't his "Sally" and he had a look on his face like, "Oh my god, my daughter thinks I'm nuts!"

We quickly told her that was NOT appropriate and escorted her crazy butt out!

She complained about us, but her behavior was charted.

Craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now how do you explain this psycho stuff to PG?

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I soooooo Feel your pain....when it comes to the public, you better brace yourself for some real jerks. I'm still a student but trust me, I was the manager at a movie theater where I had similar experiences. I've actually gotten a little tougher but some days...whoa! People just get under my skin! I find myself saying a silent prayer in my mind "Lord, please control my fist from connecting to this person's face" But you know what? Venting is alright sometimes (as long as you don't get out of control and hurt other ppl). There were times I walked home alone from work just crying :crying2:and venting all the way home and I actually felt better by the time I got there. But what I do with the jerkish customers is just stand there, look at them with the dumb, you're-making-yourself-look-like-a-real-idiot look and let them vent. When they're done I politely ask "are you finished now?" then explain myself in a calm tone of voice. This makes them fell a little stupid muuuhahaha...but yeah she was a real idiot :madface:

O yeah...have a wonderful stress-free week full of laughter:bugeyes:

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
Baaaaaahaaaaaaaawhaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!!!!!

I think I just split a gut... I need a nurse! Help!

I work in psych and I'm telling you that those families often have more issues than the patients themselves!

There have been plenty of times we have felt we were hospitalizing the wrong person. "Why is dad here? He seems FINE... it's the daughter we need to admit!"

We had a patient that was a normal as normal could be... but his daughter, who he lived with was a neurotic NAG! She nagged the poor guy endlessly and would come to visit him and nag the hell outta him and nag the hell outta US!! It was outta control!

She turned him into an anxious bag of jell-o and I actually had to spend a great deal of time charting on HER behavior just to have a record of how her behavior was impacting HIS!

She wouldn't let him move one finger without her yelling at him to "sit still! don't move!". He would actually try to get up and get AWAY from her, she was sooo unbearable and she would yell for him to come back.

You had to see it to believe it!

It was like she was trying to make him crazy!!!

We actually had to kick her out! She told her dad, as she read off some patients' names from the board, "Look! There's a 'Sally' here! See! Mom is here!"

Uh... "mom" was dead and this guy was NOT confused! He knew that wasn't his "Sally" and he had a look on his face like, "Oh my god, my daughter thinks I'm nuts!"

We quickly told her that was NOT appropriate and escorted her crazy butt out!

She complained about us, but her behavior was charted.

Craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now how do you explain this psycho stuff to PG?

we have made 2 suggestions to administration.

1. instead of air freshner coming out of those battery powered freshner thingies all over the building...aerosol xanax for the visitors!

2. our facility sits on a river. we sit on the top of a long hill that leads down to the water. our suggestion...concrete a "slide" down the hill so that it makes our getting the crazy visitors to the bottom of the river easier!

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Don't you wish you COULD sue?

true story....very confused patient, out of his head. daughter from hell. patient starts rambling that some man had sex with him, along with other things that make no sense about little red riding hood. daughter takes it seriously and accuses the only man in the building of raping her husband. the only man in our building at the time was/is a 70 yr old night shift weekend nurse that is gay and been in nursing since the early 60s. she insists we send daddy to the hospital. she tells the ER her daddy was raped. no sign of any sexual abuse at all. nothing. er docs agree patient is out of his mind but she insists they call the cops. this man was put on administrative leave WITHOUT pay for over 6 months. he was woke up in the middle of the night on many occasions by the cops and drove to the police station and interrogated for hours...at one point, 12 straight hours! screaming at him "you know you raped him, just tell us you did it and we will stop" type stuff. the state investigated and in one day said there was nothing to substantiate the claim and dismissed the claim. the detective was new and determined to prove something. this went on for 6 months. he refused to drop the case. finally the lawyer for our company had to call the sheriff to get him to drop the charge. this man was mentally destroyed. the day he came back, we threw him a party and stood up and applauded him. i dont know if i could have come back and i sure as heck would have sued that woman! to this day though, when a family yell at him he starts shaking. we work together every weekend so i try to watch out for him. it makes me so mad that that woman KNEW her daddy was out of his mind! she knew it! did she care she almost destroyed not only this nurses career but the man himself?

no...never even an apology.

but we are supposed to stand there and smile while they accuse us of this...yell at us for that....

and tell new baby nurses how great nursing is! sometimes inside i just want to tell them RUN!!!

This guy has grounds to sue the Sherrif's department for harrassment and the daughter for defimation of character. Poor, poor guy. He has guts. I couldn't ever have went back to work at that place after that incident.

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

1. instead of air freshner coming out of those battery powered freshner thingies all over the building...aerosol xanax for the visitors!

TOOOO funny! :bowingpur I have suggested that very thing. Also have asked for Valium salt lick for the nurses.:nurse:

2. our facility sits on a river. we sit on the top of a long hill that leads down to the water. our suggestion...concrete a "slide" down the hill so that it makes our getting the crazy visitors to the bottom of the river easier!

:lol2::yeah:
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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
This guy has grounds to sue the Sherrif's department for harrassment and the daughter for defimation of character. Poor, poor guy. He has guts. I couldn't ever have went back to work at that place after that incident.

I have to tell you about this guy. I have learned alot about forgiveness from him.

Every single one of us told him he should sue...from the administrator, DON and down. i think everyone of us would have sued the woman and the sheriff's dept both, as you said.

He had a long talk with me one day before he came back to work. He told me that he'd suing her wasnt the right thing to do. He told me "2 wrongs don't make a right" and that he believed that she honestly believed something had happened to her father. He told me that had he believed something like that he would have done the same thing. He told me that "sometimes in life you have to just move on, even when you have been 'wronged'...you have to learn to let it go".

He has always been someone I admired. He has always gave me great advice as a nurse and as a manager. I credit him for helping make me the great supervisor i am today. But after this situation...he taught me so much more about life, forgiveness and faith.

I dont know where he found the strength to let it go. I still don't know if i could have done it.

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Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

Add one more person to my list of people to admire. He is at the top of the list.

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
:lol2::yeah:

maybe we should start a thread about treating families so we can give each other good ideas.

i'm convinced this questionairre thing for the family members is a good idea, lol.

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we have made 2 suggestions to administration.

1. instead of air freshner coming out of those battery powered freshner thingies all over the building...aerosol xanax for the visitors!

Haha, we always say a squirt bottle - when they misbehave, squirt them in the face with it like you would with a cat that was being bad - just firmly tell them "no!", and give 'em a spritz. I think that would be fun, haha!

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Specializes in ICU, Paeds ICU, Correctional, Education.
Don't you wish you COULD sue?

true story....very confused patient, out of his head. daughter from hell. patient starts rambling that some man had sex with him, along with other things that make no sense about little red riding hood. daughter takes it seriously and accuses the only man in the building of raping her husband. the only man in our building at the time was/is a 70 yr old night shift weekend nurse that is gay and been in nursing since the early 60s. she insists we send daddy to the hospital. she tells the ER her daddy was raped. no sign of any sexual abuse at all. nothing. er docs agree patient is out of his mind but she insists they call the cops. this man was put on administrative leave WITHOUT pay for over 6 months. he was woke up in the middle of the night on many occasions by the cops and drove to the police station and interrogated for hours...at one point, 12 straight hours! screaming at him "you know you raped him, just tell us you did it and we will stop" type stuff. the state investigated and in one day said there was nothing to substantiate the claim and dismissed the claim. the detective was new and determined to prove something. this went on for 6 months. he refused to drop the case. finally the lawyer for our company had to call the sheriff to get him to drop the charge. this man was mentally destroyed. the day he came back, we threw him a party and stood up and applauded him. i dont know if i could have come back and i sure as heck would have sued that woman! to this day though, when a family yell at him he starts shaking. we work together every weekend so i try to watch out for him. it makes me so mad that that woman KNEW her daddy was out of his mind! she knew it! did she care she almost destroyed not only this nurses career but the man himself?

no...never even an apology.

but we are supposed to stand there and smile while they accuse us of this...yell at us for that....

and tell new baby nurses how great nursing is! sometimes inside i just want to tell them RUN!!!

Where was the support/counselling etc from the workplace and the union while this was going on for this poor man? Who provided him with legal assistance? Is the workplace now providing him with help or is it just you guys?

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
Where was the support/counselling etc from the workplace and the union while this was going on for this poor man? Who provided him with legal assistance? Is the workplace now providing him with help or is it just you guys?

we dont have a union in our area. he had to retain his own personal lawyer but our employer also gave him total support. unfortunately though...the detective was new to the job and basically "had something to prove" and he refused to drop it. it sat on his desk as an open case for months!

it was finally when our employer and his own attorney called the sheriff and the DA that the case was finally closed. even after that, the detective still didnt want to close it.

the things he did to my friend were horrid. interrogating him for hours and hours, in the middle of the night...the things he said to him trying to get him to confess...it was awful.

my friend told me that he comnpletely understands how innocent people confess now. he said he just wanted it to be over.

he had everyone's support...but sometimes it's hard to fight the police.

see why i admire him so much now?

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
You know, I get tired of being told, "but we're the professionals." The problem is, we're NOT. At least in the eyes of the patients and their families that pull this kind of mess. Because 9/10 times, they don't pull this mess with people they see as "professional" ie, the MDs. No, they save it for the servants that are "below" them and there to fetch them coffee and narcotics. They wouldn't DARE talk to the MD like that, because they have respect for the MD. It's not because they're stressed that they act like this, it's a lack of respect for the nursing staff. And the "customer is always right even if the customer is 30 years old and wants to lay in bed for 3 days and catch pneumonia after his appendectomy instead of ambulating" culture is encouraging it. We no longer have the freedom to be the "bad guy" that the patients often need, because hospitals have told the patients that we're waitresses with narcotics here to make sure their stay is pleasant, not professionals there to make them healthy. It's not good for the patients and it's definitely not good for nurses.

This is one of the best posts I have seen on this site....(I am giving you a standing ovation right now)

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