Sooooo done with the verbal abuse!

[miko014]

Can I just say that I have had it up to HERE (you can't see how high "here" is, but trust me, it's HIGH, haha) with visitors bossing me and other nurses and techs around and verbally abusing us when they don't get what they want exactly when they want it??

Before I say anything else, I have already thought of all possible excuses for her feelings, and NONE of them give her (or anyone) the right to treat another person the way she treated me. I won't get specific about what was said, but I think you'll get the gist.

So I was lead tonight, and this lady came out and demanded that someone do something for her husband. Another RN asked me something about it, and I answered her. Both the RN and the visitor misunderstood what I said. The RN didn't help things by not letting me clarify, and she stomped off ****** at me, thinking I refused to do what she asked me to. But the best part is, the pt's wife went completely ballistic on me, would not let me explain what I meant, berated me to the point where I was almost in tears (and I NEVER cry). I did end up crying when I talked to the other RN and told her I didn't appreciate her treating me the way she did. I tried to apologize to pt's wife for not being clear 3 different times, and each time she cut me off before I could even finish a sentence. The best part is, if they would have let me clarify what I meant in the first place, I could have done what she wanted 10 minutes sooner. Instead, she didn't let me say anything, and basically told me that I should not be a nurse and how terrible I am (all from ONE sentence that she misunderstood, or maybe I didn't communicate clearly!!!!!) and that she will be "talking to my superiors about me". Also told me I better stay away from that room. I have never even met her or her husband before!! WTH?????? I am so sick of ******* CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is this considerd okay???

:argue: :angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire

[wooh, BSN, RN]

This is one of the best posts I have seen on this site....(I am giving you a standing ovation right now)

:heartbeatAhhhhh, thanks!:heartbeat

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I think nurses should get some education in school or in inservices from our employers on conflict management and how to deal with people. I feel lucky that I was in business for 15 yrs prior to becoming a nurse. Because of that, as an office manager, I knew how to answer the phone, deal with angry customers, etc. But some of my coworkers have never had any experiences that can help them in these situations. The companies expect us to act perfect, always positive, never rude to angry people even when they are screaming at us at the tops of their lungs...but they don't teach us how to do it. They cut us off at the knees before we even get started.

I've also noticed another trend in the past year. Seems to me, in my building anyway, that I am getting more and more complaints and verbal abuse from families on the weekends. These very same people during the week never say a word. but as soon as the weekend hits...bam! nothing we do is right, they start demanding this...demanding that...knowing full well that the only dept available on the weekends is nursing. Its like some of them come in looking for "a fight".

[sharkdiver]

I think nurses should get some education in school or in inservices from our employers on conflict management and how to deal with people. I feel lucky that I was in business for 15 yrs prior to becoming a nurse. Because of that, as an office manager, I knew how to answer the phone, deal with angry customers, etc. But some of my coworkers have never had any experiences that can help them in these situations. The companies expect us to act perfect, always positive, never rude to angry people even when they are screaming at us at the tops of their lungs...but they don't teach us how to do it. They cut us off at the knees before we even get started.

I've also noticed another trend in the past year. Seems to me, in my building anyway, that I am getting more and more complaints and verbal abuse from families on the weekends. These very same people during the week never say a word. but as soon as the weekend hits...bam! nothing we do is right, they start demanding this...demanding that...knowing full well that the only dept available on the weekends is nursing. Its like some of them come in looking for "a fight".

I highly recommend the Verbal Judo tactical communications training course. They do seminars, but you can also find their books at your local library or book store. I'm sure there are similar resources out there as well.

[Hygiene Queen]

I also hate dealing with stupid families on the phone.

"I want to know how 'Mary' is doing."

"Do you have a code?"

"WHAT code?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I cannot acknowledge that any patient is here without a code."

"What?! Like the 'Da Vinci' code? How stupid! Listen, I want to know how my WIFE is and I have the RIGHT to know."

And so we go around and around and around.

I just wanted to tell this jerk, and others like him, "Listen, you obviously aren't IMPORTANT enough to have this precious code! Get over yourself and bugger off!"

I also get insulted, over the phone, by a patient because she was stupid enough to bring her Coach bag to the hospital and now she can't find it.

She even accused me of taking her $600 bag because nurses aides are "like that".

I didn't even know what she meant by "Coach bag". She basically insinuated I was "low class" because I had no clue.

Listen, lady. I am a 38 year old woman who never gave a rats butt about name-brands. I shop at Wal Mart or Kohl's, when I feel fancy.

I make $15.68/hr as a PCT and think I'm high on the hog.

Buzz off and take that bag stick where you won't lose it, okay?

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I also hate dealing with stupid families on the phone.

"I want to know how 'Mary' is doing."

I was floated down to the ER one night back when I was a unit secretary. I answer the phone and get, "I'm calling to see how Mr. Billy is doing."

Me: Is Billy his last name?

Her: No, it's what we call him, he's our neighbor and we know he went to the hospital and want to see how he's doing. Everyone calls him 'Mr. Billy.'

Me: Do you have his last name?

Her: Well everyone calls him Mr. Billy.

Me: I'm sorry m'am, but without a last name I can't even figure out where he is in the hospital.

Her: You don't have a Mr. Billy listed?

Me:

[Bluehair]

I also hate dealing with stupid families on the phone.

"I want to know how 'Mary' is doing."

"Do you have a code?"

"WHAT code?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I cannot acknowledge that any patient is here without a code."

"What?! Like the 'Da Vinci' code? How stupid! Listen, I want to know how my WIFE is and I have the RIGHT to know."

And so we go around and around and around.

I just wanted to tell this jerk, and others like him, "Listen, you obviously aren't IMPORTANT enough to have this precious code! Get over yourself and bugger off!"

I also get insulted, over the phone, by a patient because she was stupid enough to bring her Coach bag to the hospital and now she can't find it.

She even accused me of taking her $600 bag because nurses aides are "like that".

I didn't even know what she meant by "Coach bag". She basically insinuated I was "low class" because I had no clue.

Listen, lady. I am a 38 year old woman who never gave a rats butt about name-brands. I shop at Wal Mart or Kohl's, when I feel fancy.

I make $15.68/hr as a PCT and think I'm high on the hog.

Buzz off and take that bag stick where you won't lose it, okay?

:chuckle:roll:rotfl:

Thank you for this post! The assumptions some people make on your value as a human being because of what you do for work, where you shop, etc. is amazing to me. I shop at WalMart too, tho my 'fancy' spot used to be Mervyn's, til we moved somewhere that doesn't have them. And I feel I'm high on the hog when I catch sales at these spots at 40% off, lol!

And I agree, if 'you' (angry visitors) would be nice to me, even tho you don't have the code, and can give me some sort of critical info like a date of birth, I might bend the rule just this once and tell you something until you can come in person and get the code. Yelling and carrying on and treating me worse than some stray dog isn't going to get me to do what you want much faster, if at all.

Sheesh. Common courtesy is becoming uncommon in our sociey, unfortunately.

[mskate]

i had a similar issue with a family a few months ago.

i work in an ICU in an open 6 bed bay. my 2 patients were on the other end of this particular patient in question whom i had *no* interaction with at all throughout the day. never talked to the family, never touched the patient, nothing.

i come in the next morning...

the night shift staff says "oh wow! you are in TROUBLE!" ...

me: "why??"

them:"the family in bed one says you stole their purse."

me: "what!?"

them:"they said they couldnt find their purse and they said you left for your shift and then they saw you come back into the unit. a janitor said he saw you had a black bag and her purse was black. unit manager was called, the house sup was called, the attendings were notified...."

me:"you're kidding, right? my bag IS black - i have it RIGHT HERE. and i didnt come back in after i left. are you sure they said it was me?!"

them:"the said the nurse with all the tattoos. thats you!"

me:"you've got to be kidding me."

i get called by the unit manager asking about the bag, security was investigating - it was a nightmare. an hour later - the CNA shows up with the purse in question in hand. she found it the night before in the hallway by the elevators and when she took it to security, lost and found was closed. so the put it in her locker to return the next morning.

i, of course, took the bag - marched right down to my unit manager with the CNA and was like "NO ONE STOLE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!"

the manager said she would call the family and explain what happened.

the patient stayed on the unit for a few weeks after that - the family never spoke to me, never apologized, never did anything but give me weary glances if i came near their bedspace.

completely insulting.

[Hygiene Queen]

WOW!!! We had a killer night, last night....

Let me tell you about this family, that didn't help our plight:

I had a poor confused patient who left a poo trail down our hallway during lunch.

It was BAD. It was similar to what you see if you are following horses in a parade... it was just piles the length of the hallway.

I sprung into action to clean it up. I was trying to clean this up ASAP, as you can imagine.

I was actually crouched on the floor, holding mounds of poo in my gloved hands with paper towels when this ridiculous visitor approached me.

Mind you, I am handing poo... have it in my hands, place smells to high heaven and a trail a mile long, and this visitor puts her face in mine and asks me to get her and our patient a Pepsi!!!!!!!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

I wanted to ask her if she wanted a side of poo with that Pepsi, because that's what she would have gotten!

How ignorant and disgusting is that?

Later, we had to evacuate our unit due to SERIOUS plumbing problem.

This same stupid visitor and a big fat ignoramus, who was with her, were making stupid comments about the whole situation. They were making our poor patients very nervous and upset.

Then the fat ignoramus is pointing and laughing at one of our patients, who, bless her heart, is so very confused.

I was livid!

I marched over, led my confused lady away from the fool, and said, "I cannot have ANYONE pointing and laughing at our patients! That is NOT appropriate and we will NOT tolerate that!"

That dumb jerk's smile was frozen on his face and I could tell he was put off.... GOOD!

He had the balls to laugh and make assinine comments, but no balls to apologize.

Go figure.

As I like to say, "It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes the village idiot to raise my blood pressure!"

[wooh, BSN, RN]

As I like to say, "It may take a village to raise a child, but it only takes the village idiot to raise my blood pressure!"

I am officially going to start using this as the quote that describes my life!:D