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Somebody Knock Some Sense Into Me

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Hi Guys,

So, I'm gonna complain, and I'm gonna vent. Feel free to tell me to suck it up...because I know that's what I would say. Maybe, though, some of you can tell me that it get's better.

I've got the semester I'm in, and one more 8 week semester of nursing school before I graduate. As far as grades, I'm fine. (and I'm grateful) However, I'm tired. I've gained 20lbs since I started the nursing program. I'm getting older, but for the last few years I've been so focused on school I haven't even dated.

A couple days ago I was taking care of a nine month old at clinicals, and I found myself thinking about whether I would ever slow down enough to begin a family. It's like my life has come to complete standstill. With the weight I've gained, I don't even feel attractive anymore.

Does this get better after graduation? Did anyone else go through this?

One last disclaimer: I get that I'm incredibly blessed to be so close to graduating, and I get how some of you are like: *****, count your lucky stars. Feel free to knock some sense into me. :)

Edited by Esme12

_firefly, BSN, RN, EMT-B

Specializes in Informatics / Trauma / Hospice / Immunology. Has 7 years experience.

Nursing school is hectic and stressful and it's natural to both gain weight and dream of a better life in the midst of stress. But it is what you do in the face of adversity that defines you. Try to manage the stress with exercise and scheduling a little time for yourself. You are really really close. Just picture your coming successes... graduation, passing the nclex, doing fun things before you start working.

Final note. I'm a straight guy and I would much rather be with a woman who has a good career than someone who just wants to stay home and have babies. 20 extra pounds or not. Discipline and drive are attractive qualities. So is being a fighter and a finisher. You will have the next 80 years to date and raise kids. And you can sleep when you're dead. My two cents.

Whatever you do, don't date the 9 month old! Stay with people closer to your age!

All kidding aside, life gets better after school. You can't see it now because you are in the thick of things. I married right before starting school and felt like my spouse and I were separated until I graduated. We had no time for each other. I didn't have time for me!

Good luck as you near the finish line. Concentrate on crossing it, passing boards, and getting a job.

Studentnurse365

Has 3 years experience.

I just graduated in December and passed my Nclex yesterday. From January 2012 until yesterday i have gained 25 lbs and often feel the same way. You arent alone.

RunBabyRN

Specializes in L&D, infusion, urology. Has 2 years experience.

Nursing school is mayhem, for sure. Life will slow down some once you graduate.

There is no such thing as the perfect time to have kids (or if you think you have it, it'll go away quickly, like it did for me). That said, wait until you've found the right mate, or choose to do it on your own (something I considered before meeting my now-ex-husband). There's no "easy" time or "easy" way to go about it, but once you get settled into a nursing job, it might be something to think about. I think we all start thinking about it as we get older. How old are you?

Oh, and many of us gained some weight in nursing school. Stress, eating to stay awake while reading/studying, no time for exercise, no time for making real food... Yeah, it does a number on the waistline!

We all gained weight in nursing school. One girl gained 75 pounds and her hubby left her. Shes now dating a freaking hunky Italian. I actually went from an A cup to a B cup! Talk about being excited. I finally got boobs!!

Hang in there! You got 2 months to go. You'll lose that weight in no time. Especially if you have to pound the pavement like I did to get a job. Now, on dating. I had one classmate, 56 y/o who found her true love after she took the NCLEX. They are happily married. Don't give up!

Red Kryptonite

Specializes in hospice. Has 3 years experience.

I would much rather be with a woman who has a good career than someone who just wants to stay home and have babies. 20 extra pounds or not. Discipline and drive are attractive qualities. So is being a fighter and a finisher. You will have the next 80 years to date and raise kids. And you can sleep when you're dead. My two cents.

Wow, do you have some misguided and offensive ideas about stay-at-home parents. There's a lot more to it than "just staying home and having babies." And by the way, how dare anyone put a "just" in front of that in the first place! Do you think pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, running a household, and raising kids well is EASY? A task for the lazy, whom you seem to think lack discipline and drive? Do you think that of men who choose to be at-home parents as well, or is your derision reserved only for women?

I just...... I can't even...... I have to stop typing now or I will violate TOS.

I gained wait in nursing program also. I've now been on the floor about 6 months and have gained a little more weight. I'm not overweight but I am definitely out of my comfort zone.

I'll be honest...I thought once I started working, I would be too busy and burning calories 13 hours a day/3 days a week. Unfortunately I find the stress, lack of sleep and making the excuse "I work hard, I deserve this {{fill in blank}}" has taken a toll on my weight.

I'm sure this isn't everyone but this is what I have experienced.

Good luck to you in all that you do!!

Lol...yeah, a nine month old is little young for me. :)

Thanks for all the encouragement, guys. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has been through this. :)

Depending on your age, you should try to date as much as you can. If you want children, and you're in your 30's the sooner the better. Your head is in the right place, as soon as you're finished with school. Date, date, date:roflmao:

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych. Has 15 years experience.

You will have the next 80 years to date and raise kids.
However, she will not have the next 80 years to get pregnant.

Women of child-bearing age have a very limited biological window in which pregnancy and childbirth are possible. Once that window closes, a woman will never get pregnant because her ovaries have exhausted their supplies of eggs.

In addition, a woman who waits until her mid-30s to try for children is taking a calculated risk. For every story of a 40+ year-old woman who gave birth to a healthy baby, there's another story of a woman who went into early menopause at age 35 to 40 without ever having had children of her own.

Although I'm a woman who does not want children, I urge all career-minded females who really want offspring to make that a priority. After all, a career is nothing more than a job, whereas a child is a sign that humankind should continue forging on.

nursel56

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty. Has 45 years experience.

Anecdotally speaking, I've noticed that 6-8 weeks until graduation seems to be prime time for freak-out with nursing students! The actual reason may vary from one to the next but there seems to be a common thread of "is all this really all going to become real?!?" and "but what about--- (my grades, my family, I've never placed a Foley ahhh) is all perfectly normal! All the best to you! :up:

kbrn2002, ADN, RN

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis. Has 19 years experience.

Well, in your own words...suck it up!...it get's better! Seriously though, the end of the program when there is actually light at the end of the tunnel is stressful. Then it goes to a different kind of stress, passing the NCLEX and finding a job. Then starts the stress of being new at your job. Then guess what? The stress continues! The weight gain is so common there's a name for it. It used to be called the freshman five, but it's not limited to freshmans and it's usually more than five. Sorry if I sound negative, I really don't mean to be but it's been a particularly stressful week and it's not over yet. I've been a nurse for 20 years so yep, the stress never completely ends.

NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN

Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN. Has 10 years experience.

Okay, I'm going to put it like it should be. You are almost at the end of your nursing student life. Do not start dating. Do not start working out. Put your nose in your books and keep it there until you have crossed the finish line. Do not take your eye off the prize!!!!

There is plenty of time for all of that after you pass NCLEX. You have worked too hard and come too far to drop the ball now. That's how so many people fail out in their last semester.

You are almost there! You've got this.

Don't lose focus now, it's crunch time.

On your next break, take a couple of days and go over what you want to get out of your nursing career, all the benefits of having a paid job, and all the bragging rights you will have for passing the NCLEX with 75 questions the first time (we all gotta dream).

This will help put your sacrifices in perspective and keep you motivated.

It is totally normal to feel what you feel right now. I lost weight in NSG school from all the stress, then gained it back right before the end from all the stress. A lot of the people I graduated with had marital difficulties and relationship problems from the stress, so not dating is a smart move on your part.

Just remember, this too shall pass. You only have a little bit left. You CAN DO this.

tsm007

Has 2 years experience.

I totally feel your pain! I have kids and a family already and have been freaking out big time during my capstone. My clinicals follow a full time shift and I am EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. I keep asking myself how I am going to juggle it all when I'm done. What keeps me going is thinking back on my life (I'm probably way older than you - 41). Anyhow, I can look back on my life and find several times in my life where I had a big change. Life is always hard when things change until the new thing becomes a rhythm. It'll get better. I am sure of it! For now I'm keeping blinders on and using tunnel vision to keep me focused. Sometimes I have to block out all the what ifs to get where I wanna be.

CT Pixie, BSN, RN

Has 10 years experience.

It's senioritis.

That being said, please don't go into this thinking once school is over the stress stops...not to be Debbie Downer but there is still the stress of studying for and passing the NCLEX, the dreaded looking for that first job (can take days, weeks, months or a year + for some), and once you land that job..the stress of being a real live nurse and no longer a student. The stress of orientation can be more brutal than stressing over the next exam etc.

And from that, let me just say..it can and is done all the time by those younger and older than you, by those with less on their plate and those with much more. you will get through school as well as the other stressors that follow. Keep your head in the game. You'll have more free time once you graduate..so date away (not sure how old you are, you may have a lot of time before that biological clock alarm chimes and says..too late). Once you graduate..enjoy your new found freedom of time to yourself.

(afterthought) About the weight gain...I have always been underweight and I picked up a lot of pounds during school. And while I needed more weight, I packed on a few (rolling eyes...more than a few) pounds than really needed. Being middle aged (44) it was difficult to get rid of it during school. Once I started working on the floor, the pounds dropped off and I'm now at a weight that is a good weight for my height. I feel much better now. I'm thinking it could be the same for many of us. Once you hit the floor and are running nonstop all shift, no time to eat..the pounds sort of start dropping.

Overland1, RN

Has 22 years experience.

Haven't even dated? That is the least of what Nursing school is about ;). Time should be spent concentrating on learning, studying, and passing... doing the very best you can. Additionally, the social life thing is going to be mostly limited during school semesters, but there can be time to do some fun stuff as well. When I was in school, I was also working part time and found a bit of time between semesters to get away for a two day run to the coast of SE New Hampshire... cheap, simple, relaxing, and excellent (cheap) lobster.

We had many people in our classes who let their lives outside of school interfere with school. There were a couple of marriages, but several more breakups and divorces. Sometimes that new GF/BF just does not understand what earning that Nursing degree is all about, and relationships fail. Nobody ever dies from it, but it is a pain and a disappointment.

Stay focused onfinishing school and getting the degree and license. Make some time to do simple stuff that you enjoy, but do not get involved in anything that can or will become drama. Trust me... there will be plenty of (time for) drama once you find a Nursing job. ;)