Slandered at work by another nurse...need advice asap

J. B. · Sep 9, 2004

I'm a seasoned nurse (22 years) and took an assignment through an agency to work at a small hospital in Labor and Delivery. Have been working here off and on all summer long. Well, lately the night nurse that alternates my shifts was brought to days. She's a new nurse, and very possesive of her labor and delivery postion. I was scheduled to work 3 nights in a row. Following her shift, I ended up having to life-flight out a newborn that was 12 hours old, and hadn't been doing well since birth. The mom was an ICU RN and was quite verbal about complaining about the day RN. (I'll call her Amy* RN) Anyway, the following night I had another sick pt. in labor with pre-eclampsia, hypokalemia...on Mag, Pit, Potassium...antibiotics...you can imagine the scenario. Being in a small hospital, I was it....the only RN in L&D...which I'm used to. I kept in constant contact with the MD etc. Anyway, the next night I was scheduled to work, I had to call in because my oldest daughter had to be hospitalized with pneumonia. (my first time calling in) The nurses that were working that night said that Amy* RN quoted in report after following me with the labor pt. that I was a F*** B***. (she said it in report) There were 4 nurses present. She also complained that I should be fired for not having all my paper work in order. (the paperwork she's talking about is the sticker sheets for charges) I have talked to the OB nurse manager and she states that I have nothing to worry about, that Amy feels threatened and inadequate and does this with all the nurses that she follows, especially if they are agency. I am outraged. I've worked another shift and followed Amy again and she is being extremely nice. However, some of the employees are acting different towards me and some keep telling me how much Amy "has it in for me".....please...someone give me your advice on an RN that slandered me like this IN THE REPORT ROOM at shift change.

Dear RosieSeattle,

Nurses ..(or anyone for that matter) are not worth their weight in spit.

let it go it is not worth the worry or fret to bother. Stay focused and keep up the good work. Your skills will spealk for themselves and this (POS) will bring you no lost energy and effort. Again what do I know Im just a Male nurse of 24 years and Have had some runins with people like this and found them to be just selfserving. Dont give those like this one the satisfaction that you gave it even a second thought because in the end they are not worth the energy.

Peace to you ROsie

begalli · Sep 9, 2004

Why not ask "Amy" directly about it? You're obviously a mature person with a lot of nursing experience and this is probably not the first time you've run into this type of personality. Can you set aside your outrage for a moment and try to talk to her about it privately? (I would use the word "confront" her, but it seems too strong a word for what I'm trying to say. You have to be the one who shows that you will not tolerate this kind of gossip, but you must do it in such a way as to not seem abrasive or argumentative.)

I wouldn't expect the nurse manager to do anything about it until you speak directly with Amy and let her know what's bothering you. If you don't get anywhere with Amy, then I would think that the NM would have offered to mediate a meeting between the two of you to straighten things out. Maybe you can request this?

Just conduct your own behavior in a way that doesn't give her anything to talk about. What I mean by this specifically is don't talk negatively about your co-workers including Amy (not that I think you do, I don't even know you).

Sorry you're going through this. It's not nice being the subject of someone else's twisted ideas. Especially when you're not there to defend yourself.

It's about being a professional. Amy is not behaving in that way, here is your chance to show her how it's done!

This is so what I would do. Don't know if it would work for you, but I just thought I'd add my opinion.

Good Luck!

jemb · Sep 9, 2004

My only modification to Begalli's suggestion would be that instead of asking her privately about the allegations, bring the subject up casually in the presence of other nurses. That way, you will eliminate the 'he said, she said' possibility with other nurses as witnesses. If you eventually have a meeting with the nurse manager and Amy, it will be more difficult for her to fabricate the conversation she had with you.

Nitengale326 · Sep 9, 2004

My only modification to Begalli's suggestion would be that instead of asking her privately about the allegations, bring the subject up casually in the presence of other nurses. That way, you will eliminate the 'he said, she said' possibility with other nurses as witnesses. If you eventually have a meeting with the nurse manager and Amy, it will be more difficult for her to fabricate the conversation she had with you.

I agree with JEMB... or ask those that heard the statements to meet with you and AMy in the managers office. The conversation will be between you and AMy, the others there for witness. But I would let her know you are seasoned, you are not stupid, people DO talk and you will not tolerate that from her or anyone else. Put her in her place. She'll think twice before she'll do it to you again. If you sweep it under the rug, she will continue to put you down and do the name calling stuff because it makes her feel superior. Just remind her in the "meeting" that this is a team effort and she is not holding up her end of the team. Good luck and I know how you feel... been there done it... have the t shirt!!!

weetziebat · Sep 9, 2004

I like Jemb's suggestion. The problem I see with asking the nurses who were present when she made her slanderous remark is that as you are agency - and if they have to work with Amy once you've moved on - they may be hesitant to side with you. Actually what I think I'd want to do is talk with Amy and the NM at the same time. That way she knows you are not going to put up with the remarks and you are taking care of it once and for all. But, not having worked in a hospital in awhile, don't know if that is PC or not. Just what I'd do. Good luck.

mattsmom81 · Sep 9, 2004

Being agency makes it more difficult to manage this type of thing...we make easy targets for dysfunctional people don't we?

Sounds like she is a problem employee and will eventually self destruct if the manager is worth her salt. Some places are just toxic.

You've alerted the manager (who does your agency eval, correct? ) so she is aware of the problem and that it is not caused by you. You may want to make your agency aware too if she causes problems for you.

Hope she runs out of steam soon...I agree with John, don't let hateful people drain your energy.

rollingstone · Sep 9, 2004

Ignore her.

jannecdote · Sep 9, 2004

I agree with John on letting your work speak for itself. You've been a nurse a long time.......you know what the drill is. I was in a similar situation once when I worked agency. I just ignored the nurse and did my job. It worked for me. Being new--and agency to boot--places you at a disadvantage. How you react to this situation will be closely scrutinized by staff members and other powers that be. Whatever you do, just play it smart.

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Sep 9, 2004

This is certainly not the private domain of nursing! I'm not sure whether that's good or bad.

You spoke with the NM, and she sounds aware of Amy's personality difficulties and hasn't been inspired to change anything. Sitting down with her and Amy together is not likely to result in change except that Amy will now resent you more and feel more threatened. That can't make for an improved working relationship, can it?

The other nurses have to continue to work with Amy as well. So perhaps a confrontation with them as "witnesses" or as an audience might not be a good idea either.

Why not approach Amy with an air of innocence and a seeming desire to make her happy? Ask her if there is anything else she'd like from you, since she is following your shift... That sort of thing. Compliment her and smile at her.

It is very disarming to do this. It has to be done without sarcasm. You may have to grit your teeth afterward, and maybe even practice in front of the mirror a few times. If you get really desperate for relief from your frustration and resentment, not that you aren't totally justified, pray for her. Believe it or not, it will benefit you by changing your frame of mind.

You might be stuck with her. But you aren't stuck with the reaction she inspires in you. Try what I suggest for a week. See if it doesn't work.

I've never seen it fail. (Let me know if you are the first, OK?)

Good luck!

leslie :-D · Sep 9, 2004

hi rosie,

a lot of different advice, yes?

knowing my impulses, i would probably go to amy, telling her what i heard (professionally of course) and that you hope you can continue to work together as the professional nurses you are.

i call them as i see them. but that's me; not always the diplomat.

leslie

redshiloh · Sep 9, 2004

PLEASE, if you talk to her have a witness. The kind of person that bad mouths you in report is also probably the type of person who will twist whatever you say to her advantage.