I'm a seasoned nurse (22 years) and took an assignment through an agency to work at a small hospital in Labor and Delivery. Have been working here off and on all summer long. Well, lately the night nurse that alternates my shifts was brought to days. She's a new nurse, and very possesive of her labor and delivery postion. I was scheduled to work 3 nights in a row. Following her shift, I ended up having to life-flight out a newborn that was 12 hours old, and hadn't been doing well since birth. The mom was an ICU RN and was quite verbal about complaining about the day RN. (I'll call her Amy* RN) Anyway, the following night I had another sick pt. in labor with pre-eclampsia, hypokalemia...on Mag, Pit, Potassium...antibiotics...you can imagine the scenario. Being in a small hospital, I was it....the only RN in L&D...which I'm used to. I kept in constant contact with the MD etc. Anyway, the next night I was scheduled to work, I had to call in because my oldest daughter had to be hospitalized with pneumonia. (my first time calling in) The nurses that were working that night said that Amy* RN quoted in report after following me with the labor pt. that I was a F*** B***. (she said it in report) There were 4 nurses present. She also complained that I should be fired for not having all my paper work in order. (the paperwork she's talking about is the sticker sheets for charges) I have talked to the OB nurse manager and she states that I have nothing to worry about, that Amy feels threatened and inadequate and does this with all the nurses that she follows, especially if they are agency. I am outraged. I've worked another shift and followed Amy again and she is being extremely nice. However, some of the employees are acting different towards me and some keep telling me how much Amy "has it in for me".....please...someone give me your advice on an RN that slandered me like this IN THE REPORT ROOM at shift change.
knowing my impulses, i would probably go to amy, telling her what i heard (professionally of course) and that you hope you can continue to work together as the professional nurses you are.
i call them as i see them. but that's me; not always the diplomat.
leslie
Hi Leslie, I'm of this variety too...I tend to NOT say anything until a couple of incidents, then use a more, ahem, non-diplomatic approach...which I'm trying to change for my own (grrrr) self-growth. Ignoring the POS who makes your life miserable at work tends to make my stomach hurt.
Sometimes asking in the most offhand way if a particular person is 'angry' at you for some unknown reason might work by disarming the POS in question. Good luck; I hope she behaves!
This is certainly not the private domain of nursing! I'm not sure whether that's good or bad.
You spoke with the NM, and she sounds aware of Amy's personality difficulties and hasn't been inspired to change anything. Sitting down with her and Amy together is not likely to result in change except that Amy will now resent you more and feel more threatened. That can't make for an improved working relationship, can it?
The other nurses have to continue to work with Amy as well. So perhaps a confrontation with them as "witnesses" or as an audience might not be a good idea either.
Why not approach Amy with an air of innocence and a seeming desire to make her happy? Ask her if there is anything else she'd like from you, since she is following your shift... That sort of thing. Compliment her and smile at her.
It is very disarming to do this. It has to be done without sarcasm. You may have to grit your teeth afterward, and maybe even practice in front of the mirror a few times. If you get really desperate for relief from your frustration and resentment, not that you aren't totally justified, pray for her. Believe it or not, it will benefit you by changing your frame of mind.
You might be stuck with her. But you aren't stuck with the reaction she inspires in you. Try what I suggest for a week. See if it doesn't work.
I've never seen it fail. (Let me know if you are the first, OK?)
Good luck!
That's a good idea and may be worth a try, but it doesn't work with everyone, some people are so evil and nasty that no matter what you do they are not going to change their attitude towards you, I worked with someone like that on my first job as an RN. Come to think of it, I think I've encountered some since then as well.
I think we've all experienced this personality type over and over again; it just makes your workday so much more difficult than it needs to be.
Anyone who figures out why and can fix the problem will be worth their weight in gold.
Then again, I work with a couple of fabulous agency nurses...one in particular, so I think very highly of them. They are very helpful, great at helping those less experienced (meaning moi) and sharing their knowledge.
I'm sure the OP's NM knows this about agency nurses -- at least I hope so!
Hi! I work in L&D in a small hospital too. Please tell your agency, so they have it on record. Meet w/ your manager and AMY together to air your complaints in her presence. If other staff keep running to you w/ "gossip" tell them to go to the manager if they are also concerned about AMY's actions. I suspect it is simply your turn to be this toxic person's victim. Also, to be quite truthful, some of the other staff might enjoy the turmoil and gossip. I know lots of people who like to play both sides. Thet wouldn't create the turmoil themselves, but are willing to perpetuate it. I'd love to hear that they have fired or disciplined AMY, but I suspect they will merely pacify her, but it might get her off your back. I wish you all the best, but get it on record to the right people to protect yourself.
If other staff keep running to you w/ "gossip" tell them to go to the manager if they are also concerned about AMY's actions. I suspect it is simply your turn to be this toxic person's victim. Also, to be quite truthful, some of the other staff might enjoy the turmoil and gossip. I know lots of people who like to play both sides. Thet wouldn't create the turmoil themselves, but are willing to perpetuate it. I'd love to hear that they have fired or disciplined AMY, but I suspect they will merely pacify her, but it might get her off your back. I wish you all the best, but get it on record to the right people to protect yourself.
now i think this is GREAT advice.
don't we just know those coworkers that love creating a stir?
yes. DO tell these workers to report it to their nm.
This is a bad deal, my nursing/diplomatic side tells me to tell you to ignore her attacks. However the Kentuckian in me tells me to recomend that you kick her little but out into the ambulance bay and make her like it. I abhor backstabbing gossips and I will admit that I am occasionally guilty of the very same thing. I just got to the point where I told the people that didn't like me that I didn't care if they talked about me like an old dog just as long as I didn't hear about it, I did have witnesses when I did this too. I hear a lot less gossip these days. It'll all work out in the end.
PLEASE, if you talk to her have a witness. The kind of person that bad mouths you in report is also probably the type of person who will twist whatever you say to her advantage.
OMG yes I've known a few vile nurses like this too. They sure do make a workplace a hellhole. People are afraid to buck them, they just quietly transfer out of their dept, so they are rewarded for their dysfunction.
thank you all for your concern and advice. I ended up writing the whole mess up and giving it to the DON, under the direction of the OB nurse manager. Come to find out, *Amy has said even more stuff, and also went to the OB/GYN doctor complaining about me. There is only one OB doc in this hospital and town. The DON was professional about everything and asked me to meet with her and "other nurses" on Monday. I don't know if this is a set-up for "hospital keeping afloat" and find a sacrifice or if this is genuine and sincere for problem resolution. We all know how unfair the justice system can be. My agency is aware of the problem, however there is minimal assistance they can offer. I don't know if I will consent to meet with everyone on Monday or not. My gut instinct is to reschedule the meeting a few weeks from now and let the heat cool off some. I'm not schedule to work there again until the end of the month. By that time, there will be other issues with *Amy...I'm sure of that. Will keep you all posted....thank you again!
It upsets me very much that someone would do things to cost someone their livilihood or try and tarnish a career. The idea that she suggested you be fired is unbelievable. As a new nurse she should be focusing on patient care and sharpening her skills...not her claws.
Focus on yourself and don't do her any favors...I would tell her it's sink or swim now girlfriend
I hope things go well for you. At any rate you have documented the problem and if it persists and she causes more trouble for you you have a paper trail documenting difficulties with this woman and that you tried to resolve it professionally.
It hurts when someone uses us as a scapegoat I know. But it needn't reflect badly on us. Rather on the facility that unwisely allows this woman to continue her hostility...and today a hostile work environment is dangerous for a facility. Best wishes and consider leaving such a vile place if this doesn't come out to your satisfaction., and chalk it up to experience. I had an extreme run in with one of these in a supervisory role and now my radar is up for these types, particularly the highly vindictive supervisors who can really do damage.
Hi! I work in L&D in a small hospital too. Please tell your agency, so they have it on record. Meet w/ your manager and AMY together to air your complaints in her presence. If other staff keep running to you w/ "gossip" tell them to go to the manager if they are also concerned about AMY's actions. I suspect it is simply your turn to be this toxic person's victim. Also, to be quite truthful, some of the other staff might enjoy the turmoil and gossip. I know lots of people who like to play both sides. Thet wouldn't create the turmoil themselves, but are willing to perpetuate it. I'd love to hear that they have fired or disciplined AMY, but I suspect they will merely pacify her, but it might get her off your back. I wish you all the best, but get it on record to the right people to protect yourself.
Sounds like the staff want you to do their dirty work for them. They are probably tired of her too.
I say, to confront her, privately first, just simply ask her if she has a problem with your nursing care? If she doesn't respond, she will probably stammer and mouth dropped, then if you hear something again, ask in front of that person to verify what was said, and embarras her, professionally.
Stitchie
587 Posts
Hi Leslie, I'm of this variety too...I tend to NOT say anything until a couple of incidents, then use a more, ahem, non-diplomatic approach...which I'm trying to change for my own (grrrr) self-growth. Ignoring the POS who makes your life miserable at work tends to make my stomach hurt.
Sometimes asking in the most offhand way if a particular person is 'angry' at you for some unknown reason might work by disarming the POS in question. Good luck; I hope she behaves!