Singled out nursing student

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I find it humorous and but also depressing that I have to put in extra energy in order to be excepted by my peers in nursing school. I find it unbelievable how all the white students find it easy to fit into a group without having to put in any energy at all. I tried to be open and fun and outgoing when nursing school started. I find that when i did try to fit in, I saw smirks and was short handed with conversation from those I tried to fit in with. This is affecting my studies and my focus in school and I find i am depressed by this. I don't really have a group to fit in with and its pretty lonely but now I am starting not to care. But unfortunately during the two clinical days right now we are working in groups and teams. I hate I have to push my way into a group only to receive an unwelcome feeling from the ones in the class.

Help me understand how some people sit down and almost immediately have someone to work with and don't have to really say anything but i sit down and no one sits by me or offers to introduce themselves. It is me that has to be the dog and beg to fit in.

I hate nursing school right now because of my environment and i really want to be a nurse but why is this killing my drive and compassion for the field. Am I not an ideal figure fit for nursing. I am the only black male with one other black female who gets a long with few other white students, so I know it is not racism completely, but I find it frustrating and disheartening. Why am I or why do I feel singled out in this fashion. If I were white, I feel i wouldn't even be in this situation but I love being black and i love that i am one of the few black males in nursing school because i stand out. But maybe this is the reason I am being treated this way because maybe some feel I don't belong or automatically feel I am ignorant and stupid and not worth talking to or getting along with. I am struggling in school but that doesn't make me stupid as everyone is ignorant and doesn't know anything in first semester of nursing. Which is the whole purpose of this journey is to learn and aspire to become an experienced nurse. Someone help me rationalize this matter. I am eager for a diagnosis.

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Hey hey, story of my life being the black sheep too. LOL.

I'm not a full nursing student yet, but I have been working my butt off to get where you are.

I have to say one thing for sure, The struggle your going through right now, no matter how poopy it is, is molding and shaping you to be much stronger, more understanding and will make you more sensitive to people who really need it. You are getting something extra the others are not, in addition to self reliance.

Whoever you are, you are my hero and I will probably be not far behind you shortly. All I can say is stay positive, focused and finish what you start. YOU ARE NEEDED. Not just your nursing skills but specifically you!

Pull through it because we all need you.

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You have rationalized quite enough.

Friend, make it happen. We all have things that set us apart. Race, gender, age, appearance, history, reputation, social skills, hair color, smoker, whatever.

You may be accurately perceiving their unwillingness to work with you, you may not be. Start small. I find it hard to believe there aren't a few in your class who are aware of this if it's actually happening. Introduce yourself to one student. Ask them if they'd mind working with you that period or pairing up with you at clinical. Talk individually to them. A group is a nasty dynamic, you have to get people into a position where they will listen to you and show their true self.

I always make sure outsiders are taken care of. I know I'm not the only one who does this. Find that person in your class and start there.

Good luck. Don't get discouraged. You're going to see this kind of thing your whole career. Learn to navigate it now.

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Yes! Dont give up! I experienced this for the entire first year of my current job. MY co workers confessed to me that when they first saw me they made bets to see how fast I would quit all based on my appearance. They made jokes loud enough for me to hear (on purpose) about how each of them contributed to driving out previous coworkers before me, they even laughed about how one of them made another person burst into tears. NOT COOL. I just kept a stubborn but friendly attitude. Hard working and eager to learn but not too eager to be their friends. Don't try so hard just be friendly and hopefully they will soften up. If they don't, its their loss. Best of luck!!

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Never ever give up! Do not let them get you down. Are there any other male students in your class? Try becoming study buddies with them if there are any. I know nursing classes are primarily filled with females but I am sure before long you will make some life long friends in there. And if you don't then you are better off without them! Keep your head up. I would totally be your friend if you were in my class.

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Specializes in 10.

I agree with all the previous posts. This will only make you stronger and kinder to the next person whom may be having the same issue. NEVER EVER GIVE UP. It will be ok. Stay focused.

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Listen, brother! Don't try so hard! When you try too hard, people became suspicious and they tend not to trust your motives. Just be you, focus on what's important, and the rest will fall into place. When you give up trying to go to them, then eventually they will come to you. And don't forget, the important thing here is what you are trying to achieve...that is to become the best nurse you can be for your patients. That is what is the most important. And again, everything else will fall into place. Trust me on this! I've been there, and done that. As soon as I stopped trying, I made friends...good ones who I care about, and who care about me. Stop trying, and just be!!

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Most things that we dread aren't nearly as frightening after time. It's amazing how a week or two can change everything. Stay the course and be friendly and I bet all will work itself out.

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Try not to take it personally - no one else should have the power to make you feel less. Just do what you have to do. Remember why you're there. I have struggled all my life to feel like I "fit in". I thought when I was younger that cliques were a kid thing and it would get better when I got older. Well I'm 35 and there are still times I feel like I'm 14 and the odd one out and I'm not quite sure why. By the way - I think this is universal because I am caucasian and female. Just hang in there.

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Where the heck are you at???

It's so diverse where I'm at so I'm really thrown off by your post.

If it's truly because you are black-- that's their loss.

What about this-- is your insecurity, discomfort or distrust showing through? People pick up on how we feel, even if they don't understand what they are picking up on.

I am always somewhat of a misfit in my classes, but much less so when I came to the conclusion that they are no better than me and I'll be sociable-- and if they weren't going to be receptive of that? Well, not worth my time. But overall, most people are nice and I was a fool to be so cold and aloof for fear of rejection.

Cheers

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

I felt that way at first, being a 50-somthing student in a class of 20 y/o students. I began talking to a couple of students the first week and now our "group" has 5 or 6 who like to get together after class for coffee and to talk about the lecture. Sometimes it seems like the easy thing to do is stay alone so you don't have your feelings hurt. It takes faith to step out of our comfort zone to make friends. Good luck to you!

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Specializes in Infectious Disease, Neuro, Research.
I felt that way at first, being a 50-somthing student in a class of 20 y/o students. I began talking to a couple of students the first week and now our "group" has 5 or 6 who like to get together after class for coffee and to talk about the lecture. Sometimes it seems like the easy thing to do is stay alone so you don't have your feelings hurt. It takes faith to step out of our comfort zone to make friends. Good luck to you!

Amen! I was blessed with an exceptional group- an on-line class of 6, including me, the only male. Some people are simply immature, or simply useless/asses/bigots/whatever, you can't help or change that. Some situations, however, are detemined by how we receive them.

Be a decent, honest, hardworking man- what you're supposed to be.:cool: My suspicion is that many of those ladies have no experience with such a creature, and your actions will drown out everything else.

Stay with it, man! You clearly have a big heart, and your patients and (future) peers need men like you.

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