Blacksheep80

ThanK you Houtx. That is great advice. That's definitely a different aspect that I did not think about.

Hello there. I have recently passed my nclex after being out of school for years. THe funny part is i passed my test just three days after my graduation date two years ago. I have been working as a tech at a local hospital for nine months. THe problem is i have no desire to work on this particular floor as a new nurse. I have no desire to work in the hospital setting, because i feel i would put the patients in danger being out of school for two years. Secondly i have this feeling i would not be happy and would have a very difficult time being a floor nurse in a hospital. I love bedside nursing and talking to family members and have no problems with giving meds or assessing patients. I do have worries with care plans and shift reports and all the anxieties a new nurse would have but feel i am at more of a disatvantage because of my time out of school. i honestly feel i dont know a damn thing and may have forgotten some things. So i figure my best option would be to start in a nursing home or hospice to get my feet wet and the basics of nursing back under my feet before i tackle such a big responsibility such as hospital nursing. I dont want to start my career hating nursing because i have worked so hard and have waited two years just for this opportunity. Just wanting some advice on my situation. I am very eager to start my career and help people but honestly feel my heart just isnt in the hospital.

I have now failed the nclex four times and need support and encouragement. It feels like your the only one going through the struggle but i know there are many others who feel the same way. I hate when i start to question if i was meant for this field, but its an unfair assessment when i havent' even had the chance to test my skills on the floor. This test makes me feel I am not smart enough. I struggled through school with testing but i made it through like everyone else. Nursing school is tough but time is ticking and sometimes i feel like all the experience is gone and my schooling never happened but i keep studying here and there and trying to pick myself up and solve my weak areas. So many times it feels like content but then it also feels like i just suck when it comes to critical thinking but my decisions are not far of. I simply get through the whole test so it really cant decide if i am safe or not when i am weaving over and under the line. I get it! the whole testing thing is to make sure we are safe practictioners and understand the importance of taking care of people's lives. I understand why i need to show the computer i am capable so that keeps me grounded. I am just at a standstill on what i need to do to change my way of thinking to pass this test. Just needed to vent. THank you if you took the time to read this thread. God bless!

Thank you so much. All those questions and info make so much sense. I am thinking study strategies weren't as great. My commitment at times wasn't as great. My desire was sometimes pushed down and at my situation with the material and applying that to scenerios. I really am going to sit down and think about this. I really appreciate your imput. Thank you so much : )

So yeah I have come to conclusion that I will not pass level one nursing school. I can't picture myself going back next semester nor do I feel like I can continue in this field. I don't know which way I will go but right now I am highly burned out and it sucks knowing all the friends you made are going on and not you. But also thinking about doing it all over again. Just thinking about what all I went through is exhausting going over in my head. Right now i dislike some aspects of nursing school and sometimes even hate it. I beat myself up because I did not plan to fail after all that i went through to get here. LIke i can't believe i am about to fail. What if this isn't for me and I am going to put myself through this again not really knowing if it is or not. Is this a sign. I worked so hard to get here, only to fail. I feel terrible and lost. How does one bounce back from this. You only get two chances in the program and i used up one chance in the first semester. That means I would have to go through all semesters with pressure on my shoulders, knowing i can't fail or thats it for good. A lot of people say summer term is hard because its short and yes we had lots of work piled on us but the main thing was i couldn't pass a test to save my life. Having trouble transitioning my thinking over to this. I am not sure if I will ever get it or not. Any suggestions on what i should do?

I find it humorous and but also depressing that I have to put in extra energy in order to be excepted by my peers in nursing school. I find it unbelievable how all the white students find it easy to fit into a group without having to put in any energy at all. I tried to be open and fun and outgoing when nursing school started. I find that when i did try to fit in, I saw smirks and was short handed with conversation from those I tried to fit in with. This is affecting my studies and my focus in school and I find i am depressed by this. I don't really have a group to fit in with and its pretty lonely but now I am starting not to care. But unfortunately during the two clinical days right now we are working in groups and teams. I hate I have to push my way into a group only to receive an unwelcome feeling from the ones in the class. Help me understand how some people sit down and almost immediately have someone to work with and don't have to really say anything but i sit down and no one sits by me or offers to introduce themselves. It is me that has to be the dog and beg to fit in. I hate nursing school right now because of my environment and i really want to be a nurse but why is this killing my drive and compassion for the field. Am I not an ideal figure fit for nursing. I am the only black male with one other black female who gets a long with few other white students, so I know it is not racism completely, but I find it frustrating and disheartening. Why am I or why do I feel singled out in this fashion. If I were white, I feel i wouldn't even be in this situation but I love being black and i love that i am one of the few black males in nursing school because i stand out. But maybe this is the reason I am being treated this way because maybe some feel I don't belong or automatically feel I am ignorant and stupid and not worth talking to or getting along with. I am struggling in school but that doesn't make me stupid as everyone is ignorant and doesn't know anything in first semester of nursing. Which is the whole purpose of this journey is to learn and aspire to become an experienced nurse. Someone help me rationalize this matter. I am eager for a diagnosis.

my first question is how the hell do you post your own questions on this ridicules un-user friendly site? secondly, anyone who says the money is great is a loser. i would hope there are other reasons for going into nursing considering it is a field all about compassion and caring for those that are ill. however there is nothing wrong with this notion, however i disagree with the reason in general. most selfish people are rushing to the field because of the economy and need the money. i would hope these people consider the meaning behind the field and don't go into the profession as a half ass nurse to collect a check and become a snotty no-good nurse who thinks they know it all. i would totally disagree with this reason. that is all.