I find it humorous and but also depressing that I have to put in extra energy in order to be excepted by my peers in nursing school. I find it unbelievable how all the white students find it easy to fit into a group without having to put in any energy at all. I tried to be open and fun and outgoing when nursing school started. I find that when i did try to fit in, I saw smirks and was short handed with conversation from those I tried to fit in with. This is affecting my studies and my focus in school and I find i am depressed by this. I don't really have a group to fit in with and its pretty lonely but now I am starting not to care. But unfortunately during the two clinical days right now we are working in groups and teams. I hate I have to push my way into a group only to receive an unwelcome feeling from the ones in the class.
Help me understand how some people sit down and almost immediately have someone to work with and don't have to really say anything but i sit down and no one sits by me or offers to introduce themselves. It is me that has to be the dog and beg to fit in.
I hate nursing school right now because of my environment and i really want to be a nurse but why is this killing my drive and compassion for the field. Am I not an ideal figure fit for nursing. I am the only black male with one other black female who gets a long with few other white students, so I know it is not racism completely, but I find it frustrating and disheartening. Why am I or why do I feel singled out in this fashion. If I were white, I feel i wouldn't even be in this situation but I love being black and i love that i am one of the few black males in nursing school because i stand out. But maybe this is the reason I am being treated this way because maybe some feel I don't belong or automatically feel I am ignorant and stupid and not worth talking to or getting along with. I am struggling in school but that doesn't make me stupid as everyone is ignorant and doesn't know anything in first semester of nursing. Which is the whole purpose of this journey is to learn and aspire to become an experienced nurse. Someone help me rationalize this matter. I am eager for a diagnosis.
Honestly, you should never sit down next to someone and have to feel like you aren't being acknowledged. In any situation, not even just at school! Living in Atlanta, I see people being ignored constantly based on physical characteristics, and it's complete and total ********. It's really difficult for me to even comprehend it sometimes. But, no, you aren't alone in this in the slightest, and I think it's so crucial that we continue to be aware and ask these questions. I hope things turn around for you in your program. I can only hope that the people in my program will be able to cultivate a comfortable learning environment for every single person, regardless of color, age, or gender based false assumptions.
This is YOUR assumption, you have no idea if it is this person. He is here feeling down and out and you want to insult? Way to go...
I completely agree with you, chaisaci. Not sure what stephanyjoy was trying to get at with posting that, but reverse racism is a load of bull, as is reverse sexism.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I completely agree with you, chaisaci. Not sure what stephanyjoy was trying to get at with posting that, but reverse racism is a load of bull, as is reverse sexism.
What exactly are you getting at with this statement? I don't want to misinterpret it. Are you implying that racism doesn't exist outside of whites?
What exactly are you getting at with this statement? I don't want to misinterpret it. Are you implying that racism doesn't exist outside of whites?
Nope, racism exists all over. But the statement I quoted was an example of reverse racism, which doesn't mean the same thing as racism in general. When used within the context of her assuming that the OP's feeling of perceived racism was actually his own racism is an example of as accusation of reverse racism, which is what I'll calling out here. I'm glad you asked for clarification, though, because I definitely don't want my meaning to be misinterpreted. :) I'd be happy to talk more on it if needed.
As I read this post I've tried to put myself in your shoes. If I was the only white guy in a class of all blacks and couldn't make friends I might would have the same feeling that you do. But I'd also like to think that the odds of an entire nursing class being racist is next to impossible statistically. Also, the odds of everyone not being racist would be just as far fetched.
I think that you are in danger of loosing your focus here getting caught up in all of this. You are paying to get an education not to make friends. I am a nursing student and I don't really have a "group" or any friends in nursing school either. I am a bit older then most of the other students, and have a life otuside of school. I am pleasant but just don't want to get involved with the drama. I wouldn't sweat it too much. Focus on your studies and doing well. Make yourself stand out. Your role in school is to learn and excel so that when the time comes for job interviews YOU will get hired and not them. Don't waste your time over petty stuff.
Specializes in Critical Care. CVICU. Adult and Peds PACU..
I am the only black male with one other black female who gets a long with few other white students, so I know it is not racism completely
If I were white
I love being black
So, re-evaluate what you said. Can you think of any reasons "all the white people" would be reluctant to become friends with you? I think the reason your classmate isn't having difficulty because she isn't blaming her personality shortcomings on the color or her, or others skin. Best of luck to you. I truly hope you can identify the real underlying issue so that you may develop worthy friendships.
So, re-evaluate what you said. Can you think of any reasons "all the white people" would be reluctant to become friends with you? I think the reason your classmate isn't having difficulty because she isn't blaming her personality shortcomings on the color or her, or others skin. Best of luck to you. I truly hope you can identify the real underlying issue so that you may develop worthy friendships.
Perhaphs reason could be, she's a woman.Nevertheless you cannot simply ignore that the problems/issues he espoused on. They do happen and happen often. i will face the same situation in a month or so time but it's nothing new to me so i just trod along.
@thread starter; Just understand from the get go (as with all things human), there will be good/bad seeds regardless of the situation. Not all the students presumeably white are bad and not all are good. You may be an introvert or the less outgoing type (If so, just make an effort to say hello to every single student, everyday in the class) for a week. At the end of the week, if you don't get a hello from any student, withdraw. I will be utterly gutted as a human-being with a red-pigmented blood flowing through my vein if i'm ignored by all in this setting, Not condusive to studying:down:
.... I am the only black male with one other black female who gets a long with few other white students, so I know it is not racism completely, but I find it frustrating and disheartening. Why am I or why do I feel singled out in this fashion. If I were white, I feel i wouldn't even be in this situation but I love being black and i love that i am one of the few black males in nursing school because i stand out.....Someone help me rationalize this matter. I am eager for a diagnosis.
(Highlighting some of the things the OP said that a few may have missed, let's stay on track here)
First, let me join your supporters in sending you a group e-hug, and tell you that you are not wrong for feeling this way and are not alone. What some of your angry detractors don't get is just how painful and complicated these things can be. I doesn't seem like you're saying any of your classmates wants to lynch you, but it's true that many very nice people still feel uncomfortable around black folks, especially black men. If you don't have a naturally outgoing, sunshiney personality it can be doubly tough to fit in. To do it successfully can mean spending a lot of time initially putting white people at ease: smiling and laughing a ton, using similar speech patterns (in case they mistake your dialect for dullness), never, never mentioning even the existence of race, never expressing anger in any way, trying not to reinforce any negative stereotypes and being stressed out whenever you think you may have done so. In a word, it's exhausting.
Here are some things that might help:
1. Try and find a support system of black people in your situation - groups at your school, local organizations, even online - it helps to have people who understand without your having to explain it, and who don't try to dismiss your feelings as unimportant or baseless.
2. Focus on the people in your class that have been nice to you. The people that have initiated conversations or even smiles, that have supported your opinions, etc. Make an effort to speak to those people that YOU like the most (instincts are there for a reason)
3. Remember that you belong in that class. You earned your spot there, you're smart enough to succeed and your social situation will improve - it may just take a little more time and effort than usual.
4. Exercise, eat well, have an outlet, and sleep! (why do we nurses always forget this part?)
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breezy7, BSN, RN
343 Posts
Honestly, you should never sit down next to someone and have to feel like you aren't being acknowledged. In any situation, not even just at school! Living in Atlanta, I see people being ignored constantly based on physical characteristics, and it's complete and total ********. It's really difficult for me to even comprehend it sometimes. But, no, you aren't alone in this in the slightest, and I think it's so crucial that we continue to be aware and ask these questions. I hope things turn around for you in your program. I can only hope that the people in my program will be able to cultivate a comfortable learning environment for every single person, regardless of color, age, or gender based false assumptions.