Should I feel guilty?

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I’m a new RN and have been working on my unit for about 5 months now. I am officially off orientation and on my own. I currently work nights and as of right now we only have about 9 nurses working the night shift. The past few weeks my unit has called me on 3 different occasions to see if I could pick up or switch one of my days because they need someone on that particular night. The one issue is they usually don’t call until about 2-3 hours before the shift would even start. So far I haven’t agreed to come in. Mainly because I slept a normal sleeping schedule that day and have been awake for 8 or more hours already that day. Calling me 2-3 hours before a 12 hour night shift doesn’t really give me much time to get a nap in to feel awake for the shift. Especially considering I’ve been up all day already. Every time I hang up the phone after saying “No” I feel so guilty. I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way but I just do. Should I feel guilty about this?

Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

Your time is YOUR TIME. Trust me when I tell you that it is easy to burn out, you don't owe them your time off, and you NEED that time, especially if you work nights and flip back to days on your days off. You are very wise to know when you have not slept enough to be safe. Yes, we all know how much it sucks to work short and how much we looooove that nurse who agrees to come in to work, but don't do it unless you really want to and are physically capable of doing it safely.

Welcome to allnurses!! ?

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You shouldn’t feel guilty but you will. I have the flu. I had to call off for the second day in a row. I was the third call off for today. This is so rare I can’t remember the last time I called off. I think I apologized at least 10 times and offered to buy pizza. Yes I feel guilty and I’m a veteran nurse so I know better but I need to do what’s best for me and for my patients.

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

I just read the title of this and immediately thought, "NO!" before even letting the subject. Lol, especially in this scenario, you should never feel guilty.

If you're willing to pick up and it's just their timing that's an issue, definitely tell whoever typically makes the calls that you need more notice so you can sleep before night shift. Like others said too, the shift you're helping out will be grateful for ANY time you give, whether 7p-11p or 11p-7a or any other interval.

You can also be proactive if you actually do want extra hours. If you see staffing is short the next night or you know someone is sick, tell whoever's in charge of staffing, "I'm willing to come in if needed. Can you let me know by 1/2/whenever?"

We have a new grad who's been busting her butt to come in extra - from an hour and a half away and during some weather events, no less! I'm always thrilled to see her, of course, but the other day I could tell she was regretting picking up the extra night when she also had to work the upcoming weekend. I told her, "We're always happy to see you, but don't burn yourself out on this place; it's not worth it. You pick up when you want and don't stress when you just don't feel like it. This is someone else's job to worry about, not yours."

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Don’t Answer and Dont feel guilty!

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.
18 hours ago, brownbook said:

I was the House Adminstrative Nurse, worked 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. I had to call staff at home while they slept to cover sick calls for the next shift or unexpected changes in census.

I felt guilty calling these poor nurses. I knew they were not under any obligation to say yes. Going down the phone list was easier if they just said no and hung up. I could move quickly on to the next name.

Do not feel guilty.

I was in a position of having to call nurses in to work also and like you always felt guilty calling but was mandated to do so, Ugh!

OP: just remember these posts next time you feel guilty, the caller is mandated to call regular staff prior to registry etc. Don't feel guilty or obligated to go in!!

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

My job often calls us to pick up night shifts just a couple of hours before starting. We all say no because it is irresponsible to come in and work when you have not slept.

Sad thing is, they usually know all day that they are going to need someone, but wait till the last minute to try and find staff.

We would all be happier to help if they would just call us early in the day and say "could you sleep, we might need help tonight." I would rather do that and then get told they don't need me after all.

The way it is now everyone is a loser because we really can't pick up overtime when we are not rested.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
22 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

You shouldn’t feel guilty but you will. I have the flu. I had to call off for the second day in a row. I was the third call off for today. This is so rare I can’t remember the last time I called off. I think I apologized at least 10 times and offered to buy pizza. Yes I feel guilty and I’m a veteran nurse so I know better but I need to do what’s best for me and for my patients.

Having to call out when you are sick is the worst! I always felt evern worse until I knew they had my shift covered. I used to work mids Friday-Saturday-Sunday, and about 10 years ago during the first part of my Friday shift I came up positive for Flu A and was sent home. I felt so guilty!! But the reality is no one wanted my germs, either.

I was a mess before maternity leave, too. Hahaha.

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Specializes in Neurosciences, stepdown, acute rehab, LTC.
On 1/28/2019 at 8:20 PM, Davey Do said:

Please allow me to answer your question with a question RNOrth: Do you think they feel guilty about calling you 2-3 hours before a shift to request you to come in to work?

Chances are: No, they don't feel guilty. They probably believe that they are merely doing their job and you are merely a means to an end.

Your days off are earned and they are to do with as you see fit. If you believe it is in your best interests to have some R&R or TCB, then you are being true to yourself.

To paraphrase a concept by Richard Bach, "he best way to avoid feeling responsible or guilty is to say, 'I'm guilty of having other responsibilities'". And one of those responsibilities is to our own well being.

Umm I always felt guilty when I had to call people soon before a shift.

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Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

Guilt is an emotion felt when you have done something wrong or immoral .When you inform your employer you are not available for an extra shift or shift change on short notice you have done nothing wrong. They are simply just trying to staff for that particular day.This is a never ending process in hospital settings as census fluctutates, nurses call in ill and there are limitations in how many positions there are on any given unit.Do it when you can and want to and kindly decline when you are unable to do so.There is benefit for you though because this allows you to pick up shifts when you need extra income.This has helped me throughout my entire long career to stash away a lot of cash for my emergency fund and to pay for unexpected events.

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
On 1/28/2019 at 5:19 PM, Lev said:

You should not feel guilty although it's hard not to. If guilt gets the better of you and you really feel up to it, see if they would agree to let you work just 4 hours (the beginning of the shift) but don't let them guilt you into staying longer.

I would actually think long and hard about accepting part of an assignment, like the first four hours. Because what happens to you when the shift can't be filled and you've accepted the assignment? Previous posters are right on. It's a job, and nobody should martyr themselves for a job.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Emergency Department, Informatics.

No you should not feel guilty whatsoever. It is not your responsibility to staff the hospital or the unit. Healthcare is now a business and as nurses we should be treating it as a business. I know in nursing school we are taught that our patients need us and we should be advocates , but we also must have loyalty to ourselves first.

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Specializes in Surgical, Home Infusions, HVU, PCU, Neuro.

RNOrtho- first off welcome to the family!! As others have posted, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! If there is a time where you could work if you slept tell them that, say you can come at 11 or 1 because you need to sleep some, if you can't or don't want too simply say no or don't respond. You do don't have to justify anything to them, it's your day off. I don't know if your unit gets pulled to float but I would also state you will come for your unit only (if you do go in) I said I would help one day and came in to be floated, I was ticked. Just some food for thought! ?

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