Should I feel guilty?

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I’m a new RN and have been working on my unit for about 5 months now. I am officially off orientation and on my own. I currently work nights and as of right now we only have about 9 nurses working the night shift. The past few weeks my unit has called me on 3 different occasions to see if I could pick up or switch one of my days because they need someone on that particular night. The one issue is they usually don’t call until about 2-3 hours before the shift would even start. So far I haven’t agreed to come in. Mainly because I slept a normal sleeping schedule that day and have been awake for 8 or more hours already that day. Calling me 2-3 hours before a 12 hour night shift doesn’t really give me much time to get a nap in to feel awake for the shift. Especially considering I’ve been up all day already. Every time I hang up the phone after saying “No” I feel so guilty. I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way but I just do. Should I feel guilty about this?

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

You should not feel guilty although it's hard not to. If guilt gets the better of you and you really feel up to it, see if they would agree to let you work just 4 hours (the beginning of the shift) but don't let them guilt you into staying longer.

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

No, no , no, you should no feel guilty at all. It is not your responsibility to staff the unit/hospital. That being said, if you are still on your new hire probation you might want to pick up a few of those because they can fire you for any reason if still on probation (not for not coming in but they can always find another reason). I would let your manager know you are willing to help out if given more notice. After probation do what you want. If already over your probationary period then do what you want, work OT when/if you want it.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

As others have said, you should NOT feel guilty. I only pick up extra shifts when I want to and it benefits me and don't answer the phone if they call when I don't want to be there - and I don't feel one ounce of guilt about that.

You have several options here. If you are interested in picking up extra hours but need more notification regarding your sleep schedule, then simply communicate this to them. It is a very reasonable request. Or as another poster suggested, just pick up the 7p-11p part of the shift to help out.

My best advice if you aren't able to just say no without feeling guilty is to just not pick up your phone when you are not scheduled to work. They will (maybe) eventually stop calling you so frequently to pick up, and you won't have to feel guilty afterwards.

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Specializes in NCLEX Prep Expert - 100% Pass Rate!.

Hi there RNOrtho - welcome to nursing, we are so very lucky to have you. I share the same sentiments as those who have already replied in regards to not feeling guilty. The bottom line is that Healthcare is a business. Those in charge of running healthcare facilities have manipulated nurses for years into feeling guilty about not staying late, picking up additional shifts, or working with sub-optimal resources. I have sat at the same table with executives as they have said, "we cannot go over budget, so lets cancel two nurses - the remaining nurses will find a way to make it work - they always do." ?

A nurse's compassion and commitment to do no harm has always been what gets us to say "yes" even when we really do not want to. Whether its to show support for our colleagues, or whether its because we want our patients to receive the care we know they deserve, new nurses especially - have a history of saying "yes" more often than experienced nurses.

When nurses says "yes" countless times and the situation of being short staffed never seems to get any better, and/or when nurses give their supervisor time off requests 6 months in advance for it to only get denied - espcially after they've selflessly picked up extra shifts for the past several months...!?!? Saying "NO" gets that much easier!

Advocating for one's own wellness, rest and time away from work is one of the most important things a nurse can do to prevent burnout, illness and compassion fatigue.

You asked if you should feel guilty when you don't go into help...? I say no you shouldn't feel guilty at all. Be sure to take care of yourself first - you and your patients depend on it.

Good luck, and keep on rocking it!

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Specializes in Dialysis.

Look at the caller ID and don’t answer. Let it go to voicemail. For all they know, you were asleep with your ringer on silent

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, RNOrtho said:

Should I feel guilty about this?

Please allow me to answer your question with a question RNOrth: Do you think they feel guilty about calling you 2-3 hours before a shift to request you to come in to work?

Chances are: No, they don't feel guilty. They probably believe that they are merely doing their job and you are merely a means to an end.

Your days off are earned and they are to do with as you see fit. If you believe it is in your best interests to have some R&R or TCB, then you are being true to yourself.

To paraphrase a concept by Richard Bach, "he best way to avoid feeling responsible or guilty is to say, 'I'm guilty of having other responsibilities'". And one of those responsibilities is to our own well being.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
4 hours ago, RNOrtho said:

I’m a new RN and have been working on my unit for about 5 months now. I am officially off orientation and on my own. I currently work nights and as of right now we only have about 9 nurses working the night shift. The past few weeks my unit has called me on 3 different occasions to see if I could pick up or switch one of my days because they need someone on that particular night. The one issue is they usually don’t call until about 2-3 hours before the shift would even start. So far I haven’t agreed to come in. Mainly because I slept a normal sleeping schedule that day and have been awake for 8 or more hours already that day. Calling me 2-3 hours before a 12 hour night shift doesn’t really give me much time to get a nap in to feel awake for the shift. Especially considering I’ve been up all day already. Every time I hang up the phone after saying “No” I feel so guilty. I feel like I shouldn’t feel that way but I just do. Should I feel guilty about this?

You don't need to feel guilty about saying "no" if you're not able to come in. You're responsible for the hours you're scheduled; your own time is your own. If your unit is having a staffing crisis -- four pregnant employees just went on bedrest and the night charge had a stroke at her ACLS class -- you probably should suck it up and work some overtime. But that can be scheduled in advance so you can prepare. But if it's just poor staffing, just say no.

I have one more suggestion for you -- caller ID. If it's work calling, just let it go to voicemail.

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Specializes in Adult Primary Care.

Do not feel guilty, and use your caller ID!!!!

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Specializes in Adult Primary Care.

AND

Welcome!!!

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I was the House Adminstrative Nurse, worked 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. I had to call staff at home while they slept to cover sick calls for the next shift or unexpected changes in census.

I felt guilty calling these poor nurses. I knew they were not under any obligation to say yes. Going down the phone list was easier if they just said no and hung up. I could move quickly on to the next name.

Do not feel guilty.

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This is a time in your career to learn how to set firm boundaries. Protect your time off; you need it to sustain yourself.

Boundaries help you distinguish what is your problem and what is not your problem. It is not your responsibility to staff the units.

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