Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation...

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Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation to clients when asked? Some might say go ahead...your facility can't fire you for it...it's against the law? But actually, I live in Nebraska and it is legal to fire someone based on sexual orientation. And even if it was illegal it would be easy for an employer to fire an employee based on sexual orientation and then try to pass it off as if it were for some other reason.

For example, what if a young patient...10 y.o. asked me if I have a date on valentines day...and I do...with a guy...should I tell the kid...even if ma and pa are sitting 7 feet away listening...and what about when I work with mentally unstable patients...they say you are supposed to be honest with them always...because they don't deal with dishonesty well...but it seems like if I did tell them the truth it might set them off...or be counterproductive some how...anyway someone plz share with me some insight...maybe with some anecdotes and some tips

Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

here's my :twocents::twocents: worth in this issue, i made it a point from the start to follow my 5 "golden rules" while at work...

1. never discuss politics with anyone

2. never discuss personal sexual orientation

3. never discuss religion

4. never volunteer more information than questioned for

5. never get your honey, where you get your money

trust me as a seasoned nurse i never had any problem adhering to the above mentioned, good luck...aloha~

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Specializes in ICU.

I keep anything personal to myself. I find a way to change the subject, or avoid the question altogether. I don't even like it when patients ask where I live, etc. All they need to know is my first name, and my qualifications to be their nurse. There are too many crazy people in this world, and they don't need to know my sexual orientation, address, whether I am single or not, etc. I don't want anyone trying to "look me up" outside of work, for any reason. Maybe I watch too many Lifetime movies!

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Specializes in Corrections, neurology, dialysis.

No. Your personal life is nobody's business. I'm a lesbian and wear a wedding ring. People ask me if I'm married and I say "I'm involved" and leave it that. When they start talking to me about my "husband" I don't correct them. I let them draw their own conclusions and then look for the first opportunity to change the subject. Most people love talking about themselves, so if I turn around and ask them the same question they asked me, they'll get busy telling me all about their lives and forget all about what they asked me. I have selectively come out to patients, especially men who get a liiiiiiiitle to friendly.

One time I just had to say something when a patient, whom I've known quite a while and have developed an excellent rapore with, said to me "I've never met a gay person who's happy". I couldn't stop myself. I said "well, you're looking at one". If he was just a random person I would have let it drop, but we've known each other a long time and I feel I have his respect. Now he can honestly say he knows a gay person that he likes and respects. I don't expect miracles, but maybe by knowing me it has softened his opinion somewhat. I don't recommend doing this. I carefully judged this situation. Also, everyone I work with knows I'm gay and don't care. So if word got back to them they couldn't care less.

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Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.

what does that have to do with the price of oil? absolutely nothing..its either u are a medical profesional or not. Your personal life is has nothing to do with your clients well-being..and honestly they probably already know, jus looking to see if u lie or not. I'd change the topic...and move on with yr job.

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Specializes in none.

DO NOT. It is no ones business. Don't tell them anything personal about yourself. Not in Nebraska. I lived over the border in Vermillion, SD back in the eighties. No one ever came out of the closet unless they wanted to get the **** kick out of them.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
So, if I say yes...and the kid says whats her name...and my dates name is Fred...then what would I say?

Hey I know lots of girls named Fred. No . . .with children you can say something lighthearted as someone suggested, or say yes and just leave it at that. Kids are naturally curious so I wouldn't get stern or angry with them. Nobody needs to explain why they want to keep their personal lives private no matter what their sexual orientation or who they live with.

There are people I've worked with happily for years and never known anything about their lives outside of work because they tended to finesse questions about it and most people should respect that. If they don't, it isn't your problem.

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So, if I say yes...and the kid says whats her name...and my dates name is Fred...then what would I say?

10 year olds are not going to get that technical.

An overall "wowwww, you must be feeling better, getting all personal with the questions! What do you usually do on Valentines? Does the school have a dance?" Then move on to why it is you are in the room--assessment, meds, vitals, whatever...

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I don't think your sexual orientation should, in any way, affect the way you work and the way your patients and colleagues treat you. Although one's profession is an extension of oneself, you should not be defined by your sexual orientation. I agree with The Commuter on his advice about not sharing too much information about your personal life. If a patient presses you about it, think of other ways on how to veer away from it. Also, don't expound your answer when being asked with a YES or NO question.

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Specializes in SNF, LTC, MED/SURG, ER.

You'll save yourself a lot of unneeded problems by not divulging your personal life to patients or other coworkers. If the patient ( or coworker) pets just say," I'd rather not talk about my personal life" and be done with it. Until everyone can get along, homophobia runs rampant and it's really not worth losing your job or getting physically hurt over.

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Specializes in SNF, LTC, MED/SURG, ER.

*persists

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

It has nothing to do with whether or not you are gay. RN, LPN, MD, ANP,PhD............Follow Gitano's rules and you will be fine. Keep your personal life personal and your professional life professional. It is not professional to discuss your personal political views and personal sexual orientation with any of your patients. What you do in your private time and with whom is your business. There are polite ways to skirt these issues without being rude.

That 10 y/o is an innocent. " Sure I have a date silly. Don't you?" If they ask what's their name (which they won't) just gently say "Well aren't you the curious one.....but that's my secret. Now no more questions silly goose" Children have asked my children's name when I have drought it up my self....as in" I have a little girl just like you at home" and I will get the response "What's her name?" and I will tell them because I want to......and only what I want to.

Adults? I give only the information I want available and nothing more. If I am asked are you married, depending on who's asking and why, will reflect/mold my answer.......Like a smart mouthed jerk in the ED who's been inappropriate my answer would be "Yes and his name is Charles Manson so don't mess with me! :smokin:

I give what I want very carefully and not one personal fact more. It's being a professional. Don't personalize your professional life and don't professionalize your private life....you'll be fine.

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It's nobody's business what you do in your own home. Politely decline to answer. After all, nobody asks nurses if they're STRAIGHT do they?!

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