Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation...

Published

Should a gay male LPN reveal his sexual orientation to clients when asked? Some might say go ahead...your facility can't fire you for it...it's against the law? But actually, I live in Nebraska and it is legal to fire someone based on sexual orientation. And even if it was illegal it would be easy for an employer to fire an employee based on sexual orientation and then try to pass it off as if it were for some other reason.

For example, what if a young patient...10 y.o. asked me if I have a date on valentines day...and I do...with a guy...should I tell the kid...even if ma and pa are sitting 7 feet away listening...and what about when I work with mentally unstable patients...they say you are supposed to be honest with them always...because they don't deal with dishonesty well...but it seems like if I did tell them the truth it might set them off...or be counterproductive some how...anyway someone plz share with me some insight...maybe with some anecdotes and some tips

Specializes in LTC and School Health.

We have to gay males in our orientation, as soon as they started talking everyone knew. One of them came to me and stated" You know I'm gay right?" I said, no really.....

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This is not a new question. The less you reveal about yourself to your patients/clients the better off you are. I am Jewish, and this has always been interesting to many people, sometimes to my detriment.

"Bought your Christmas tree yet?" "What church do you go to?" Etc.

So it's truly no one's business about your love life, no matter what is happening there.

And I noticed this is your first post, and you seem to be persistent in your need to reveal.

The less said, the better. Why put yourself in harm's way????

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.

I have never once had a patient, family of patient, coworker, family of coworker, boss, or family of boss ask me about my sexual orientation.

What is it with some people that makes them feel like they need to go around shouting "IM ASEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" to the world?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Why would you ever think of revealing your sexual orientation to anyone in the workplace, especially with patients? Your personal life is no one's business!! I think it's inappropriate for you to share personal things at work; there's so much that can go wrong with that. I think private matters, especially political, religious and sexual preferences should be left out of discussions at work. Keep it simple, avoid confusion that can surely disrupt your life and quite possibly cause you to lose your job.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Sexual O. Shouldn't even be an issue on this board. It should be about professionalism, and how well he is taking care of the patients. That shouldn't even matter. It's his personal business anyways...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, office.

I have always avoided personal questions; simply because they lead to more personal questions. I am happily married and childfree by choice and some people cannot understand a nurse not wanting to be a mother. So I keep to one word answers and change the subject.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Telemetry, OB, NICU.

[color=#ffa07a]it seems like it is not the others but you focusing on your sexual orientation at work. be professional and focus on your care only please. you don't have to let everyone know you are gay; especially the little kids. it is very ugly and inappropriate to discuss your sexual orientation with the patients. if anybody asks, give them short, conclusion answers and redirect the subject. yes, we should be honest, but not about our private lives if this will bring issues; honesty is for our patients and our work.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

I'm in the Southern part of the US, and there are many traditional/conservative patients here, especially

among the older population. It wouldn't be worth the headache for you to reveal any personal information to them that

some may find controversial. LGBTQ health care professionals may be out to their peers, as hospitals are

generally progressive around here, but not to their patients.

I had an interesting conversation with my dentist about this once. He revealed he was gay after we wandered onto

the topic of the local Pride Parade (I had played drums in a marching band for it). He said he had some initial

awkward conversations with patients over his sexual orientation, and after that experience, he now prefers

to keep mum about it, for professional and business reasons.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Frankly when I am at work I don't want to hear about anyone's sex life or orientation. This should be private. When you are taking care of patients, TAKE CARE OF PATIENTS, your private life is none of their business. And if asked about dates, the answer is either yes or no - not what sex. Stop talking about yourself, especially to children, and do your job.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

If questioned by patients about personal matters i don't wish to discuss i just cheerfully pipe up that i'm just a big old bore and i'd rather talk about them. You owe nobody an explaination.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Wilderness Medicine, ICU, Adult Ed..

In your original post, you mentioned that you learned to be honest with your psychiatric patients. Being honest does not mean telling people everything about you. For example, if a patient asked you how much money you had in your savings account, would you tell them, in the name of being "honest?" I certainly hope not. You have a personal life and a professional life. You do not have any obligation to reveal anything about your personal life unless you choose to do so, and then, only to those with whom you choose to share that information. That is not dishonesty; it is maintaining health boundaries (even if the patient questioning you does not!)

Like all men in nursing, I have been asked this too. I choose not to answer. I am not uncomfortable with the question, but I think that the question is undeserving of an answer. I usually laugh, and say something like, "let's take care of getting you that pain medication you need" or whatever else I am there to do. Occasionally, I have had patients (very rarely, and always guys) who do not want to be cared for by a man. Fine. I swap with a female colleague and get back to work. (I would do the same if a woman wanted a female nurse to care for her, though that does not come up as often.)

Bottom lines:

1. It is none of their business. In fact, asking a personal question of someone that you do not know well is rude. I have neither the obligation nor the time to stand around catering to someone's rudeness.

2. I am free to answer or not answer personal questions as I please, and however I please, so long as I do not behave rudely myself.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Took me a while to come up with good stock answers to personal questions patients ask me. Top 2 questions I get "Are you married" and "Do you have kids?"

care to share? As a nursing student, i would love some tips!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion