Anything can be sexual, depending on how you say it. If you got a creepy vibe from him, there might be a reason for it. A lot of times, inappropriate comments have more to do with tone than he actual words.
I say let it go for now, until you get to know him a little better. And in the mean time, don't get too friendly with him.
....."And equally as interesting is how I am to respond to such a comment. Borders on creepy, and I am a spiriva kind of girl, myself..."
In all seriousness, it sounds as if he was stating that you are a breath of fresh air as far as being nice and positive.
What would make me take pause is HOW is this an appropriate comment for a manager to make to an employee? Sounds gossipy, inappropriate in CONTENT, and more than likely a road you do not want to travel down.
He made a positive decision when he hired you, as apparently your professional demeanor is positive and refreshing. That he needs to deal with the employees on the opposite end of the spectrum is his issue to deal with. Don't get into it with him.
Best wishes!
I was confused by this reply and then it occurred to me you must have meant to write stevia. Good answer.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
OP, since both you and the boss are new and everyone else is exasperated and status/post removal of the boss everyone hated the potential for confusion in HR is pretty high as to what was meant by that. It's possible he was talking about himself. I can think of several real bosses who would say such a thing, unfortunately.
Specializes in Infection Prevention, Public Health.
Next time he tells you that you're sweet, laugh out loud and say,"Me sweet? No way. I've been bustin' balls since I was a toddler." Then just go on about your business. I'll bet the sugar comments will be in your rear view mirror!
If that was the only comment, I wouldn't think much of it. Maybe he was just misunderstood? Possibly just trying to make a compliment but it came out wrong?
Most of my co-workers are female except for the doctors so I've never had this problem. But of course, how the tone and body language is speaks louder than words. I've only been sexually harassed by patients, 2 offered me the chance to have children and another kissed me on my neck when I wasn't aware he was behind me. Yuck. But I tell the patients that behavior is inapproriate and I only keep professional relationships with patients then they stop. If the guy is making you uncomfortable, maybe ask to speak to him privately and just be straight forward that you're uncomfortable with some remarks. Hopefully it will stop.
What I took from this was him meaning that if someone brings positive energy it can create a happier work environment...?
That's how I interpreted it as well.
Mind you, I wasn't present at the conversation so I don't know what else was said, or how (paraverbals, body language) it was said, or what he exactly was referring to. So I can't tell you if this is indeed a sexual comment or not.
But you WERE there...so in addition to the words themselves, what else makes you feel the compliment may not have been appropriate?
I wouldn't even say anything to him about it unless he says something similar again.
The first thing HR will try to figure out is if you tried to handle the perceived issue between the two of you rather than running straight to them. If he makes a habit out of referring to you as "sweet" or "sugar" that is inappropriate and you should tell him and then HR if it continues.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Unless "adding some sugar to the mix" is some new sexual euphemism I'm unaware of, I think this falls squarely into the sexist, rather than sexual category.
RNNPICU, BSN, RN
1,310 Posts
I still don't get how it is sexist or sexual, but oh well. I have read that statement c ouple more times and here is what I think it might mean.
You add a little sugar to the mix ... i.e new staff member (you). Outside who doesn't have baggage from this place
Things get sweeter ... the environment improves (current situation gets better because now have new outside perspective)
Almost anything can take a negative spin on it if you want it to. Or be taken in a way that makes us defensive.
It sounds like the new boss was trying to lighten up a potentially stressful new beginning.
If there is anything else said that sounds off too you, just clarify and watch for the response.