1st time ... I would let it go (but maybe make a note of it in case it is needed later)
If it becomes a pattern, I would say something to him (and make a note of it)
If talking to him didn't help ... then I would take my notes to HR and say that you have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and a reasonable chance to improve his behavior, but that hasn't worked.
Don't blow a single, relatively mild infraction our of proportion. You wouldn't want him being hypercritical of you every day in the evaluation of your performance ... don't be hypercritical of him.
And the fact that you have credentials is irrelevant. Even the lowest ranked employee deserves to be treated with courtesy, respect, and kindness. And yes, even a manager deserves to be given a little leeway to make a clumsy remark now and then.
I agree with most, we can't see the whole situation just from words... but if that really is all, then I think you're blowing this out of proportion. But then again, we need context too, therefore this is not enough info.
A manager called me 'sweetie' once. It bothered me. I remember it to this day. When I thought about it I decided that his brain was between gears when he made the comment and I didn't make anything of it. But it was uncomfortable and I remember that about him.
As some others have said, I would personally let this one slide. Sometimes people say stupid things on accident--sometimes they don't mean for something to come out sounding the way it really did end up sounding. He could have just been trying to say it's refreshing to have someone nice in the workplace.
Specializes in Healthcare risk management and liability.
As a middle-aged white male healthcare executive who has gone to all the harassment seminars and who works in a predominantly female environment, I did not take this as a sexual comment, nor did my female colleagues. We are all middle-aged though, and that might color our opinions.
I am curious as to know what his body language was. I suppose if he looked you up and down when he said it, that would be a completely different story. I would definitely report that.
Gut reaction was this guy is a pig, but then I read it again and thought, well maybe not. It really depends on the tone of voice and body language to determine if this ought to be considered offensive or not. Since none of us were there, well that decision on whether offense was intended [or at least perceived] is up to you.
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llg, PhD, RN
13,469 Posts
1st time ... I would let it go (but maybe make a note of it in case it is needed later)
If it becomes a pattern, I would say something to him (and make a note of it)
If talking to him didn't help ... then I would take my notes to HR and say that you have tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and a reasonable chance to improve his behavior, but that hasn't worked.
Don't blow a single, relatively mild infraction our of proportion. You wouldn't want him being hypercritical of you every day in the evaluation of your performance ... don't be hypercritical of him.
And the fact that you have credentials is irrelevant. Even the lowest ranked employee deserves to be treated with courtesy, respect, and kindness. And yes, even a manager deserves to be given a little leeway to make a clumsy remark now and then.