Say What??????!!!!!!!!!!

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Say what??????/What is the strangest:uhoh21: , or funniest :lol2: things your pt's have told you, or that you've heard!!!!!!!!!:uhoh3:

Specializes in geriatrics,med/surg,vents.

I worked MH/MR for a while and one day one of our clients had to go for a PAP test,get her up on the table and into the stirrups and she breaks out in a rousing chorus of "Deep and Wide" you gotta love it:devil:

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I work in outpatient surgery. One day I overheard a patient telling his family members that the "anaHOOLiologist" had just been in to talk to him ...(it was about his anesthesia, of course). :)

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Had an elderly woman with a difficult IV start. She said they often have to call the " flight attendants" to start her IV's. (The flight team based out of our hospital will sometimes help with difficult IV starts)

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Back in the seventies when disco was the rage we recieved a male pt from a traffic accident. We were in the process of cutting off his "angel flight" disco pants and found a big salami taped to the inside of his thigh!!! It was all we could do not to laugh befroe we got far enough away so he couldnt hear us...

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Funniest thing I've heard from a pt... pt had a spinal for vag hyst. She kept going on and on about hormone replacement, and the surgeon would give her brief answers (she had also had versed, so asked the same questions over and over). She was quiet for a few minutes, and then she loudly asked "Dr. R, when you give it to your women, do you prefer lady partsl or oral?" Surgeon laughed so hard he had to stop surgery to get himself together!! :lol2:

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Ahhhh, Versed.........wonderful stuff!!!!!

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

one of the funniest things a family told me was that she was a RN and knew all about "carwreck arrests and bamboo bags" and she was dead serious.

But the funiest was a little old lady I was having problems getting a foley in so I had another nurse come in and help. We had this poor little thing just splayed open and with all sincerity she said " I can understand why you are having trouble done there. Nobody has been down there since nineteen hundred and sixty-eight. when my last husband died." We both lost it, our sterile field we had to get out of the room and could NOT stop laughing for 30 minutes. She and I still think about it and still laugh.

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This makes me think of the young oriental college student I took care of in ER many years ago. She presented with a nose bleed. As I took her back to her cubicle for exam she asked me with such a concerned expression if she could be "getting her menstrual period from her nose." I reassured her most definitely that this was not the case.

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Neurotic patient with severe ataxia along with behavioral problems...To get her way she pretends that she's sleeping, refuses to speak, and lays absolutely still while in bed...SHE'S not the problem her worse than neurotic HCS sister is...During one of these "temper tantrums" The sister comes flying out of the room rushes to the nurses station and screams "I want her to see the Dr. now or send her to the hospital, Rigor Mortis is starting to set in!"......WHAT!

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sad to say my MIL has alzheimers and my BILwill never say alzheimers no matter how many times i've corrected him. he always says "old timers". i always say...if she had cancer would you say she has cankor??? My BIL thinks nothing i say matters since i am not a "daugher"...i know that part isn't part of the discussion, but just had to add in a vent! sorry.....

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Specializes in Oncology.

This was actually said by a co worker when giving an IM injection to a bilateral below knee amputee to take his mind off the injection..

" now just wriggle your toes"

I looked at her in disbelief, and quickly said very quietly to her,

"he can't he doesn't have any remember!" OOPPS

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Had a pt ask me to explain his pills to him. I said the white one is your Lasix to remove fluid from your body. The White capsules are K+, to replace the K+ you loose with the fluid. The green pill is your iron pill. The brown pills are your laxative so you don't get constipated by the green pill.

He responded ( If all the pills are fighting each other, why take them in the first place!)

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