Say What??????!!!!!!!!!!

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Say what??????/What is the strangest:uhoh21: , or funniest :lol2: things your pt's have told you, or that you've heard!!!!!!!!!:uhoh3:

Had a pt ask me to explain his pills to him. I said the white one is your Lasix to remove fluid from your body. The White capsules are K+, to replace the K+ you loose with the fluid. The green pill is your iron pill. The brown pills are your laxative so you don't get constipated by the green pill.

He responded If all the pills are fighting each other, why take them in the first place!

Well........he had a good point......:lol2:

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In the maternity unit I work in on the night shift if we have a c/s in the middle of the night we have to call the resident, in order to get the resident in the middle of the night we have to call the house officer. We have a board that has the doctors for each office that delivers at our hospital that is on call and the name of the c/s assist. Next to the c/s assist one night it had HO for house officer. I was the unit secretary this night, but I was not at the desk when the c/s was called and no one could find a number for Dr. Ho. An over head announcement came on telling Dr. Ho to call Maternity. I didn't think anything of it until someone came looking for me to ask how to get a hold of Dr Ho. I asked what they were talking about and the said "The board says Dr. Ho is on for c/s assist" I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. I'm thankful that this was not an emergency c/s because I laughed so hard that I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Moral of the story-- the board now ALWAYS says house officer instead of HO

I'm still wondering why the operator paged him over head because they know who all the doctors are and where to find them... silly people :)

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Years ago I worked at a hospital that did have a Dr. Ho on staff. The first Christmas he was there someone paged him overhead (I kid you not): "Dr. Ho-ho-ho, extension ---- please!"

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Oh boy.. that ones even better!

Years ago I worked at a hospital that did have a Dr. Ho on staff. The first Christmas he was there someone paged him overhead (I kid you not): "Dr. Ho-ho-ho, extension ---- please!"
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I was a patient in the hospital and there was a frequent flyer that was in the room down the hall from me. He wanted someone to take him to smoke a cigarette every two minutes and he would walk around the unit looking for someone to take him. Sometimes he would wander off and one of the nurses would have to go looking for him, usually he went outside. One time he wandered off.. it couldn't have been for long, but no one noticed right away.. well a few minutes later a woman came up fully dressed for the OR with the patient. Over heard them talking at the nurses station, he wandered off and ended up in the OR. Apparently he made a wrong turn.. Oops!

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Specializes in Neuro ICU.

Previous to my grandfather being diagnosed with Alzheimers, my grandmother was at the hospital. While waiting for her to be transferred to her room, all the family was in the waiting room. We thought my grandfather went outside to have a "chew." It wasn't long before he was escorted back by a nurse dressed in OR gear stating we needed to keep him in eyesight.

He became lost finding his way back to the waiting room and ended up in the room they were performing a D and C. Apparently, everyone looked up when he entered and he spit tobacco juice on the floor and says he was checking on his wife. He looks over the doctor and says , "hey, that's not MY wife!" Needless to say, we latched on to him the rest of the stay.

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Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.

wow, the story above mine is a crazy one, he walked in on a d&c, funny!!!

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Specializes in Me Surge.
Good question. :)

We always absorb whatever medicaid doesn't cover, and they've already reached their max on the Medicaid funded food & transportation allowance. You know that saying that the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well, the father put up such a ruckus, complaining and threatening, that our guest relations and social work department have been picking up the tab for everything this family "needs" while their child is in ICU. (I hate to sound resentful, but this is the same family that called me a racist, so perhaps I'm a bit biased. Yes, that child is once again in my unit, but fortunately, I have not been assigned to care for that family.)

So basically he is using his daughter illness as a meal ticket.

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It was me saying the stupid stuff on this occasion. I was looking over the day's theatre list and noticed that there had been a repair of a fractured member earlier that day.

turned innocently to a co-worker and asked 'what would they do surgically for that? i always thought it was just a case of keeping off it and letting it heal.'

was met with this face :stone

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER, ICU.

I had a very sweet schizophrenic VA patient one time. Lets see, he tried to sell me his sneakers.... "hey miss, what size shoes you wear?? Oh, that's amazing, these are an 8! I'll sell 'em to ya for 5 bucks!!" Then he took off and we had to call a code adam. Found him down by the ED vending machines trying to get a soda out with a scratch off lottery ticket! He was too funny!

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Had someone ask if he "had sex too hard" with his girlfriend if her tubes would come untied.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
Had someone ask if he "had sex too hard" with his girlfriend if her tubes would come untied.

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Had a lady come to our clinic once with chronic sinus infections. The cause? "When I was a kid, I stuck a tamarind shell up my nose and it got stuck. It stayed there for a few months until my aunt noticed that something smelled. They took what was left of it out and ever since then I've had bad sinuses." No kidding!!

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