Say What??????!!!!!!!!!!

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Say what??????/What is the strangest:uhoh21: , or funniest :lol2: things your pt's have told you, or that you've heard!!!!!!!!!:uhoh3:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Good question. :)

We always absorb whatever medicaid doesn't cover, and they've already reached their max on the Medicaid funded food & transportation allowance. You know that saying that the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well, the father put up such a ruckus, complaining and threatening, that our guest relations and social work department have been picking up the tab for everything this family "needs" while their child is in ICU.

And by paying for all the family needs, the hospital administration is only encouraging this type of behavior. :trout::down:
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Specializes in neuro, med/surg/, cardiac care.

My head injury patient was topping our ward christmas tree, when his portugese accented surgeon told him he had hydrocephalus. The man looked down and said, "I have syphillis? Have you told my wife?"

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i dealt with a difficult family for several years both in acute care and then when i left that job for one in a local ltc they followed me and placed their mother...the lol had 2 grown sons-once one of the grown sons was fussing with the charge nurse about something really stupid and he said " i have an iq in the double digits-you can't fool me" the saddest thing-they kept this lol home until they were reported for abuse/neglect and she had to be removed -her sons kept her on a bed covered with aluminum foil. with newspapers between her legs for the annoying incontinence..

please!!!!! tell me you jest-----

's rn

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Had a pt with hx of recent polysubstance abuse--doing his assessment, he whispers to me conspiratorially--"can you get me some cocaine and a cigarette?"

I say, we don't typically have those in the hospital, but I'll check to see what the doctor has ordered for you.

he says "thank you"

tee hee

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Specializes in Cardiac, ED.

In my hospital if we have an arrest we call a "PaceMaker, RM 656" I was taking care of an older women when this went over the loud speaker and she replied, " I hope that guys pacemaker is ok.":lol2:

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Specializes in Licensed Practical Nurse.

i once had a resident in a ltc who kept pressing the call bell, when we went in the room he said he didnt want to touch the call bell cause he didnt want to get electricuted, yet he kept pressing it!, i guess he thought it was a live wire of some sort. lol!!

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
i was asked if a ventilator and a respirator were the same thing. This from the family that wanted to sue us because dad was 98 and dying from end stage chf.

Even better, had a sweet little 80 something lady say that she didn't want to take her lovenox. When i pushed the point to find out why (not to force her to take it), she said "I don't want any of that rat poisen". say what? " isn't that what they use to kill rats?" took twenty minutes to explain the difference.

:lol2:
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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Patient with diarrhea, daughter said to me, "Yeah, they told us her electric lights were off."

:lol2:

So are hers.:rotfl:
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"If they put in a catheter how will they know if my water breaks?", and the member goes where?

oohhhh my gooshhhhhhhh

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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the patient said, "i'm losing all my blood" and insisted i have the doc in to look (around midnight, of course :rolleyes: ) i work at a teaching hospital, so i had the resident come down. he wasn't worried about the bleeding, but he did prescribe valium, lol :).

:devil:to the nurse????? lol

's rn

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ahhhh, versed.........wonderful stuff!!!!!

:lol2::lol2: i'll go one better--i was under "vitamin v" for a total knee replacement, and my ortho was a very good looking man. i was told that the entire o.r. (in which i worked, by the way) knew by the end of the surgery, just how good looking i thought he looked.:eek:

yeaaaaaa---versed is good stuff, very good!!!!!!!

's rn

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Specializes in SICU, MICU, CICU, NeuroICU.

I had a patient's family call once and ask if they could have an autopsy performed.

Um, the patient is still alive?

*Hand the phone to the nurse manager*

No we cannot schedule an autopsy on the patient until they've expired.

When's that going to be?

You can't make this stuff up, and the patient lived for about a month and then they got their autopsy.

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