Say What??????!!!!!!!!!!

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Say what??????/What is the strangest:uhoh21: , or funniest :lol2: things your pt's have told you, or that you've heard!!!!!!!!!:uhoh3:

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:uhoh3: Tass-- I really hope Dr. Ho Ho Ho had a good sense of humor-or-or!!:lol2:

's RN

Owwwww...............................:rolleyes:

Yes, he did! :lol2:

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:trout: :uhoh21: :trout: :uhoh3:

OH MY GAWD!!!!!! Been There, Done That!!!! I worked in a nursing home 903323903 years ago, and all these "sweet" little old people could think about was there bowel habits. If they did not go AT LEAST once a day, they were quite unhappy!!!

's RN

Not just daily, mind you. It has to be a GOOD one.

And I absolutely love how they awaken at 3 am and suddenly realize they're constipated--- demanding we call the doc and DO SOMETHING!!!

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They (sometimes) have to go in and repair the vessels, and sometimes the urethra. I don't know all the specifics, but I have seen surgery for this done.
Had a guy show up on our floor (oncology) early one morning and sat in the lounge, in apparent distress and wouldn't tell anyone why he was there. All he'd tell us was that he was waiting for Dr J (a urologist).

Turns out he and his mistress were having sex, she was on top and came down at an angle.

*snap*

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when his wife came to visit lol.

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ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

's rn

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I was sitting in with a Psychiatrist that was interviewing a patient who was cutting the heads off of Ken dolls ans sticking them up his rectum. The Psychiatrist asked, "Why don't you stick Barbie doll heads up there?"

The patient replied, "No way, that's sick. What do you think I am, crazy?"

Personally I agree with the patient; that is sick. Barbie dolls have lone hair on their head and he could easily pull them out. Who would want that? Ken dolls on the other hand require more agressive intervention to get them out. I always said you need to be nuts to go into psychiatry.

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Specializes in Med/surg, ER/ED,rehab ,nursing home.

In taking the history of a patient in his 50's one of our questions is "recreation drug use". This patient told me he grew his own, then proceded to give me TOO MUCH detail.:chuckle

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I asked a patient to brush his teeth. " ah, I can't stand up and walk, I'm paralysed", but all the things he needs are all in his bed side.

I said "your hand will brush your teeth not your feet... then I leave him.

When I come back he said, "I'm saving those whats in my teeth so my dentist has something to do".

Grrrrrr!!!! annoying, its not funny, but he's 21 years old male, and gushhh his girlfriend visiting him,,,, I'm sure he did not lost his mind yet.

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Specializes in Jill of all trades, master of none?.

About 20 years ago I was an admitting supervisor. One of my employees was getting married, and was having trouble focusing on anything but the impending wedding. One morning as I reviewed the previous day's admissions, I saw that she had admitted a patient for "burns of the upper trousseau." I still laugh about it.

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

I was reading over a patient chart. The discharge summary had been dictated and transcribed.

"This lady has labial diabetes."

Labile, maybe???? Just a wee bit different!!!

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Specializes in Nurse Educator; Family Nursing.

When I was a new grad, was working on a peds unit. This was BEFORE nurses did health assessment or anything similar. We did ask why the patient was hospitalized but no H & P like today. Any way, I was admitting and child and the admission sheet said the chld's diagnosis was "left nose disease". Puzzled, I asked the mom why her child was admitted and she said he had "lumps in his neck". Ah-h-h, lymph node disease. I skill smile when I remember that one.

Then there was the term pregnant patient who reported to the L & D unit because a midwife sent her for seduction (I was the midwife on call at the unit, and was expecting a patient for induction). Close, but no cigar!

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Specializes in NICU.
Then there was the term pregnant patient who reported to the L & D unit because a midwife sent her for seduction (I was the midwife on call at the unit, and was expecting a patient for induction). Close, but no cigar!

About nine months too late for that one ;)

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Specializes in SICU, NICU, Telephone Triage, Management.

Some of these are just hilarious.

Some are downright scary.

But they provided some much needed laugh therapy!

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